We’re only halfway through the 2010’s, or whatever you want to call the decade of 2010-2019, but it’s clear that Will Wilson‘s shot from aught-11 will not be surpassed:
Surprised it didn’t go viral…
In closing, PUT A BIRD ON IT!
One way that you can tell that the America’s Cup isn’t the third largest sporting event in the world is that our Mayor no-showed the opening ceremony.
Anyway, here’s your yachting match in a nutshell.
That Looey Vweetone Neverfull bag says Piers “27-29″ on it, for some reason:
Click to expand – photo by Anonymous
In somewhat related news:
Not sure what Marke Bieschke’s deal is here.
But let’s take a look at the video, d’accord? D’accord.
Five foot nothing, barefoot, and wearing white PJ’s in Randy Shaw’s corrupt greater Uptown Tenderloin Twitterloin area – she has the fight in her but she lacks the stuff she needs, you know, like reach:
So she spent most of this squabble caught by her hair, oh well:
Well, at least he didn’t Break My Window to get the purse out of this aging BMW:
After you see your gf’s purse disappear into Randy Shaw’s corrupt Uptown Tenderloin, all you can do is point as the perp flees. (Is that a moose tattoo on his now naked torso?)
The purse snatching definitely led to a brief cessation of hostilities:
And the, in the end, a swift sucker punch, you know, to say good-bye:
The dreams of Randy Shaw:
Now here’s the reality of the winter of 2013, with two people going “uptown” on each other, via Bluoz:
Oh Randy, will you ever win, you know, with the hundreds of millions of taxpayer dollars given to you over the years?
Well, look what the SFPD is crowing about today:
“SFPD Arrest MUNI Pickpocket Trio
San Francisco police officers arrested three men acting together to pickpocket Muni patrons. Taken into custody November 29 were Miguel Lucana, 42, of San Francisco; Antonio Martinez, 34, also of San Francisco; and Juan Gonzales, 38, of Oakland.
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“On November 29, shortly after 3:00 P.M., two plain clothes SFPD officers assigned to the Muni Task Force were at the bus stop at Geary and Powell streets preparing to board a bus as part of ongoing efforts to help prevent pickpocket thefts on buses. One of the officers recognized Lucana, who has prior police contacts, standing at the bus stop with a t-shirt draped over his shoulder. Typically, a pickpocket will conceal his arm and hand during the theft attempt.
Standing next to Lucana on the crowded 38 Muni, one of the officers saw him attempt unsuccessfully to furtively open the purse of a woman standing next to him. Lucana then moved to another part of the bus, where he spoke with suspects Martinez and Gonzales. Pickpockets often work in pairs or more. One passenger on the bus reported that his wallet was missing
All three suspects were detained in the vicinity of Post and Fillmore streets. Police recovered the victim’s wallet, which had been in Lucana’s possession.
All three suspects were charged with theft and conspiracy and remain in custody.
“I am extremely proud of our Muni Task Force for everything they do to help keep this system safe,” said Ed Reiskin, SFMTA Director of Transportation. “Their dedication and hard work further ensure that those who commit crimes on Muni will be brought to justice.”
The San Francisco Police Department reminds the public to be vigilant of their belongings and surroundings in crowded public spaces, and especially on public transportation. Keep wallets in a front pocket and purses within sight at all times. Be wary of any abrupt physical contact or suspicious behavior. Citizens are also advised to use electronic devices sparingly in public, as criminal opportunists take advantage of citizens distracted while using these devices.”
As seen in San Francisco, where 911* is not a joke, IMO
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*The phone number 911, that is.
Here’s San Francisco Supervisor Sophie Maxwell TCB (Taking Care of Business) on a weekend trying to sort through issues relating to Speaker of the the House Nancy Pelosi and the Golden Gate Bridge. But what’s this – a vibrant Barack Obama leather handbag? Let’s take a closer look:
Is that a Coach Leatherware brass grommet? It seems to be:
Isn’t always the same at house parties – you know, a bunch of women come over and they start tearing through your whisky, your scotch and your MGD Miller Genuine Draft beer. Then you show them all the nice, properly-chilled wine bottles and custom-tailored Riedel glasses you have ready for them and all you get is a chorus of “Ewwwww wine, gross!”
Well now you’re in luck. New, from E. & J. Gallo, it’s a box of rose wine shaped like a purse! “EASY TO CARRY, EASY TO COOL, EASY TO SHARE.” Isn’t it precious? Inside is 50 fluid ounces of tasty tasty White Grenache, “loved by women almost as much as they love their handbags.”
Click to expand:
Over in the U.K., this product is revolutionizing the entire “BIB” (Booze In Box) category. Watch the video, why don’t you. But isn’t this whole concept a “tad condescending” to women? Perhaps, but that’s what they said about Fling chocolate from Mars, Incorporated and now they’re doing land office business.
The lesson here is that you need to find a supplier and stock up on Gallo wine purses. These things will help you hold onto your dwindling supply of contraband Sparks drink (banned in CA since last month, “mmmmm, medicine-y,” “is she Sparks-worthy?”) all that much longer.
So, look out, Veuve Clicquot City Traveler Wine Bottle Case, there’s a new clutch in town.
Thanks Gallo(TM) Family Vineyards!
Here’s a deal that’s been around for a while – the Veuve Clicquot Ponsardin house of sparkling wine (we’re not supposed to call it Champagne anymore) will throw in an insulated case and a couple of Champagne(TM) flutes for $10 when you buy a $30-something, full sized, 750ml bottle of Yellow Label. Just toss out the “cooling neoprene insulation” (cooling, really?) and you’re good to go.
Heretofore, you wouldn’t see these things being used as clutches around town, but now you can. See? From a recent San Francisco soiree (that also cost $10):
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And while you’re at it, you might as well pick up the matching love seat for $10,000 as well.