Posts Tagged ‘real’

Oh Boy: “Chinese & African-American Community Leaders to Denounce Leland Yee and Other Candidates’ Sleazy, Negative Attacks…”

Tuesday, November 1st, 2011

“…& Call for Positive Campaigns in Last 8 Days Before Election Day.”

Whew! That was the title of yesterday’s Ed Lee Campaign presser in Chinatown yesterday.

So basically, Senator Leland Yee sucks because his campaign released this yesterday.* Oh, and there was something about the City College campus, but I’m not sure exactly what the beef against Leland is about that.

And there was this –  a call for mayoral candidates to “put out facts and not opinion,” but I’ll tell you, that book was chock-a-block full of facts, actually. And it had 107 endnotes to boot.

And let’s see here, oh, suggesting that City Family member Mohammed Nuru has issues, well, thems is fighting words, partner. Even though, well, you know.**

It looked like this:

Click to expand

Apparently, if you find anything at all wrong with San Francisco since the current administration began in 1996, if you think that there’s anything that could be improved, you’re a “hater.” Quoth mayoral spokesmodel Tony Winnicker:

“This one goes out to all my #sfmayor #haters! Keep ’em coming, we got ur number. Lee’s opponents go nonstop negative: http://www.sfgate.com/cgi-bin/article.cgi?f=/c/a/2011/10/30/BALG1LJNSD.DTL

But argumentum ad hominem coming from Tony hisself doesn’t make Tony a hater, no, not at all. (Somehow this makes sense.)

OK fine.

*There was a big fuss about the distribution of the Untold, Untold Story book on Sunday, but it had pretty much died down by the time this news conference was beginning.

**All right, play us off, Fog City Journal:

“Nuru, who was first hired by Lee during the administration of former Mayor Willie Brown, was the subject of a series of ethical scandals involving the misappropriation of public funds for personal uses, retaliatory threats against whisteblowers as well as directing city contractors to engage in illegal political activities while they were being paid with public funds, Herrera states:

“Herrera’s office conducted an investigation in 2004 into the San Francisco League of Urban Gardeners, or “SLUG,” the city-funded nonprofit Nuru headed from 1994 to 2000, in the midst of a series of San Francisco Chronicle news reports about potentially illegal electioneering activities. Nuru maintained close working ties to SLUG after going to work for Lee in 2001, according to witnesses, and also oversaw SLUG’s $1 million-per-year street-cleaning contract with DPW. The City Attorney investigation found that while at DPW, Nuru directed SLUG employees who were paid with city funds to conduct campaign activities in the 2003 municipal and runoff elections for Mayor and District Attorney—in clear violation of local law prohibiting city-funded nonprofits from using those funds to campaign for candidates or ballot measures. Witnesses also testified that Nuru had instructed city-funded SLUG workers to engage in similar campaign activities while he served as SLUG’s executive director, for a 1997 ballot measure backed by then-Mayor Willie Brown, and for his 1999 re-election campaign.

Following the 2004 City Attorney investigation, an audit by then-San Francisco City Controller Ed Harrington found a raft of financial improprieties involving SLUG and DPW. The Controller’s review revealed that SLUG mismanaged city grants and contracts, and was overpaid by city departments, including DPW, an amount totaling nearly $72,000. The audit additionally found that SLUG failed to pay more than $643,003 in payroll taxes, and that DPW improperly used SLUG’s contract with Public Works to purchase a $62,508 portable building for DPW’s use. Though Lee reportedly instructed Nuru to conduct no further business with SLUG, neither the 2004 City Attorney’s investigation report nor the similarly damning City Controller audit appears to have resulted in disciplinary action against Nuru at DPW. SLUG was formally debarred from city contracts for two years for violating Section 12G.1 of the San Francisco Administrative Code, which prohibits city funded organizations from using any of those funds to participate in, support, or attempt to influence a political campaign. The organization is now defunct.

Conspicuously absent from last week’s announcement that Mohammed Nuru would take over as DPW’s acting director effective Aug. 15 was interim Mayor Ed Lee. Though the appointment was announced in a written statement from the acting City Administrator, such appointments require “the concurrence of the Mayor,” according to San Francisco City Charter, § 3.104. A report noted that while Nuru’s salary was not finalized, his predecessor’s annual salary was $204,750. Nuru’s most recent previous annual salary as DPW’s Deputy Director of Operations was $193,000.”

OMG, It’s Another Book About the Mayor! “THE REAL ED LEE – THE UNTOLD, UNTOLD STORY” – 55 Pages of Hilarity

Sunday, October 30th, 2011

Well, here it is, something that just popped up on my porch/lobby this AM (and on Jerold Chinn’s too), complete with smiley-faced Post-It Note.

(If you’re not up to speed on the battling books of the 2011 race for Mayor of San Francisco, check out this bit from Heather Knight.)

I totally LOL’ed when I first saw this:

Click to expand

Which do you prefer?

Table of Contents for The Real Ed Lee Story, complete with Willie & Roses’s “No Longer Secret” Make-a-Mayor Recipe* (which riffs on this):

“I can’t say no to Willie and Rose”

That comes from this zinger by Board of Supervisors President David Chiu:

So Ed, about a week or two before you told the world that you wanted to — that you were considering — running for mayor, you told me that you had looked at yourself in the mirror, you didn’t have the fire in the belly, you didn’t want to run, but that you were having trouble saying ‘no’ to Willie Brown and Rose Pak,”

“I’m on a boat!”

The back cover of the original and the parody:

Complete with the necessary disclosures:

Of course this new campaign book was composed as a reply to The Ed Lee Story – An Unexpected Mayor, which was written by:

“…a mid-level hack funded by a shadowy pop-up group backed by experienced political sharks.”

On It Goes…

Excerpts from “The Real Ed Lee: The Untold, Untold Story.”

  • From “Willie & Rose’s ‘No Longer Secret’ Make-a-Mayor Recipe”: “VERY IMPORTANT: Mix all contents together in back room; if any part of the mixture is exposed to sunshine, it will be ruined. … Pour mixture into an empty vessel — any loyal bureaucrat will do.”
  • From “Section 1: The Making of a Mayor,” about the deal to make Ed Lee interim mayor: “[Then-Supervisor] Chris Daly said: ‘This is the biggest fumble in the history of San Francisco politics.’ You know your city is in trouble when Chris Daly is the only politician who got it right.”
  • “Fun facts” about Lee: “Ed Lee didn’t just bring America’s Cup to San Francisco, he also brought Jim Harbaugh to the 49ers. The real reason Twitter isn’t leaving is because Ed Lee won an arm-wrestling match against Twitter co-founder, Biz Stone. … These may not actually be true, but Ed Lee is quite skilled at taking credit for the work of others. …”

 

*Willie & Rose’s “No Longer Secret” Make-A-Mayor Recipe

How do you make a Mayor? Here’s the “no longer secret” recipe created by Chinatown powerbroker Rose Pak and former Mayor Willie L. Brown.

Serves: 4-8 years

Ingredients

1 “dormant” political machine

980 lbs. of powerbrokers (preferably a mix of former mayors, unregistered lobbyists, corporate hacks and Chinatown mavens)

1 Board of Supervisors President with mayoral ambitions

1 exiting mayor looking to payback his friends for years of service

1 “Promise”

2 parts flip-flopped Bevan Dufty

49 yards of wool (to cover people’s eyes)

Optional

The will of the people (“once in a while, if budget allows”)

Directions

1. VERY IMPORTANT: Mix all contents together in a back room; if any part of the mixture is exposed to sunshine it will be ruined.

2. Pour mixture into an empty vessel – any loyal bureaucrat will do. He doesn’t even need to be in the country.

3. Make a promise…and then break it. Very gently!

4. Voilá! A Mayor is made.

5. Be sure to keep your mayor on a tight leash. Do not allow them to have any open conversations with press or voters without being heavily scripted.

6. We recommend immediately hiring a posse of high-paid consultants and bodyguards to accompany your mayor at all times.

For true make-a-mayor aficionados, Rose & Willie swear that the second term is packed full of even bigger sweetheart deals!

Recalling the Time Mayor Gavin Newsom Tried to Pass a Counterfeit $100 Bill

Saturday, August 1st, 2009

Well, let’s take local lawyer Rodel Rodis at his word when he recalls a conversation with then-Supervisor Gavin Newsom, excerpted below. And if you want, read Rodel’s whole woe-is-me tale of getting arrested by the SFPD for trying to pass a “counterfeit” $100 bill at a Walgreens. (Turned out that the lawyer’s money was little old school, but 100% genuine.)

Does this $100 bill necessarily look counterfeit to you? It shouldn’t. It’s just a little dated, that’s all – there’s no need to call the cops.

Bill copy

Anyway, as the litigation over this 2003 detention (non-arrest? arrest?) continues to infinity and beyond, here’s a new part of the story. When Mr. Rodis started going around saying how this bad treatment from Walgreens and the SFPD wouldn’t have been inflicted upon lesser-of -color notables such as Gavin Newsom or Tony Hall, he got a response:

“Newsom then related an incident that occurred when he was still in the private sector when he brought the daily earnings of his restaurant (Balboa Café) to the bank to deposit. He said the teller began counting the money and applied a counterfeit detector pen to a $100 bill which she found suspicious. The result confirmed that it was fake– unlike in my case where the pen applied by both the Walgreens cashier and manager showed that my $100 bill was genuine. ‘So what happened next?’ I asked Newsom. ‘Well, she returned the $100 bill to me and told me to be careful next time,’ he answered.”

Now I can pretty much guarantee you that if bank teller spots you trying to (innocently, of course) deposit a fake $100 bill, he or she won’t just hand it back to you! Typically, somebody’ll be on the horn, with a quickness, with the Secret Service – the bankers will immediately confiscate that funny money from you, and thereby ensure that you will be the one “eating the loss,” in industry parlance.

(I mean really, what are you supposed to do with a $100 bill you know is fake? Use it to buy a pack of gum, ending up with 99 real dollars? Deposit it  in an ATM and pray that the people who count the money happen to be on the MDMA that night? That’s a dilly of a pickle to be in.)

Keep in mind this is Rodel’s version of the story, and of course he  might look at the world a little differently than you. For example, this is behavior he describes as “refusing to sign a speeding ticket.” (Well, yes, that great-grandmother pointlessly refused to sign her 60 in a 45 speeding ticket, but that wasn’t exactly why she got (unnecessarily) Tasered, one might think.)

So There You Have It.