Posts Tagged ‘ross’

“FIREWALL” Starring Political Operative Nicole Derse, AirBNB, and Supervisor David Chiu – FIREWALL. FIREWALL, FIREWALL

Monday, October 20th, 2014

Messrs. Matier and Ross once again, Automatic For The People, Baby:

“Now we’ve learned that Chiu’s campaign consultant, Nicole Derse, is a partner in the consulting firm 50 + 1 Strategies. The firm was hired by Airbnb to recruit people who rent out their homes to lobby supervisors to support a bill friendly to the company. Derse tells us she’s never discussed Airbnb with Chiu and didn’t work on the lobbying effort. “We have a firewall between the two operations,” she said. For his part, Chiu said that “50 + 1 are not lobbyists. Early on, we sat down and set up a firewall…”

And here’s the movie poster:

Firewal

Today’s post was brought to you by the letter “F” (which stands for … FIREWALL. FIREWALL, FIREWALL, FIREWALL. FIREWALL, FIREWALL!)

Your new mantra is … FIREWALL!

Not “Chinese Wall,” oh no, that phrase is out with the trash, which was fucking news to me back in the Aughts, back about ten years ago. You see, it’s considered racist because, you know, I still don’t get why. The Great Wall of China stood the test of time right? Cf. Maginot Line, right? Oh, now I see why – it’s cause one judge decided to go off on the issue about a decade ago. Hey, Yick Wo v. Hopkins, now I can see how that was racist, you know some policy instigated by the SF Board of Supervisors because it was politically expedient, something David Chiu might sympathize with, but anyway. Actually, I still don’t get why Chinese Wall is racist.)

So fine, pick a different phrase. ANYTHING BUT “FIREWALL.” When you’re colluding about the Message of the Day, about How To Deal With Matier And Ross, work it out so that PERSON A says firewall and PERSON B says, I don’t know, ethics wall or sacred division, or something.

Just saying.

(Also, “50 + 1 Strategies” should probably change its name to 51 Strategies - why make people do math unnecessarily?)

Now, Ode to Firewall, that magical cure-all word what makes the pain go away

In India we`re all the rave
Discovered that its great as aftershave
Dropped in the sea just off Japan
Swapped 20 bottles for an aqua-walkman
Immunity from ridicule
Improves your brains if you`re a fool
And I read in the Middle East
They traded some for a hostage release
Now if you`re bald it`ll give you hair
If you got straight trousers it`ll give you flares
Feeling up you`ll get depressed
Out of style here`s a brand new dress

It was really vile weather
When we got to tarred and feathered
You could hear the six guns sound
As they chased us out of town

The stuff we sell is just the best
Passing all consumer test
Days of heaven nights of sin
Voodoo stick and sharks fin
When all around you seems like hell
Just one sip will make you well
Multipurpose in a jar
If you ain`t ill it`ll fix your car
In days of yore for all bad feelings
Washing socks and stripping ceilings
Nowadays its used medicinally
For all known human malady

It was really vile weather
When we got to tarred and feathered
You could hear the six guns sound
As they chased us out of town

Guaranteed don`t you know
Money back?
You`ll get a no!
It`s the one and only medicine show

San Francisco Chronicle Writer CW Nevius, Who Claimed to Want “Closure” on the Ross Mirkarimi Case, Brings It Up Yet Again

Wednesday, April 30th, 2014

ONCE MORE UNTO THE BREACH, DEAR READERS, ONCE MORE:

Assembly race between Chiu, Campos finally picks up steam. The showdown between Supervisors David Chiu and David Campos in the race to represent San Francisco in the state Assembly may be just about to get a lot more interesting.

WELL, YES THE RACE IS MORE BORING-ER THAN AVERAGE, SURE. BUT NEVIUS, NOTHING’S REALLY CHANGED LATELY AND YOU KNOW THAT, NEVE. NOW, WHY WOULD NEVE WANT TO ANNOUNCE NEWS WHEN THERE REALLY ISN’T ANY NEWS?

1. HE MORE OR LESS NEEDS TO HAVE NEWS ELSE HE DOESN’T HAVE MUCH OF A REASON TO WRITE ON THIS TOPIC.

2. HE STRONGLY SUPPORTS ONE CANDIDATE OVER ANOTHER, SO HE WANTS TO DRAW ATTENTION TO AN ISSUE HE THINKS IS HELPFUL TO HIS CANDIDATE.

3. AND, MOST IMPORTANTLY, CW NEVIUS IS STILL UPSET, VERY UPSET OVER ROSS MIRKARIMI STILL BEING THE ELECTED SHERIFF OF SAN FRANCISCO COUNTY AND HE WANTS TO METE OUT PUNISHMENT TO THOSE WHO DEFIED CW NEVIUS AND THE POLITICAL FACTION OF CW NEVIUS

OH, BUT I INTERRUPTED, PLEASE CARRY ON, NEVE

Chiu, the current president of the Board of Supervisors, had a double-digit lead in polls as recently as February. But lately the margin has been closing, indicating that Campos’ aggressive attacks are having some effect. In response, Chiu may go on the offensive.

BOY, WITH WHOM HAVE YOU BEEN TALKING, NEVE? SOMETIMES IT WOULD HELP IF YOU JUST CAME OUT WITH THINGS INSTEAD OF IMPLYING THAT YOU’RE ALL-KNOWING AND ALL-SEEING, JUST SAYING.

The problem is that Chiu, with an early lead in the polls, has preferred to sit back and talk policy while Campos has gone on the attack.From the start, Campos has painted Chiu as the pawn of big developers and an untrustworthy politician who was elected as a progressive but then moved to the business-friendly middle of the road. Chiu has responded with … well, not very much.

MAN, NEVE, YOU SEEM TO THINK ALL THE ELECTEDS IN YOUR NEW HOME OF SAN FRANCISCO ARE A BUNCH OF PANSIES, HUH? LIKE THEY TELL _YOU_ HOW MUCH PROP B SUCKS , BUT YOU CAN’T QUOTE THEM ON IT BECAUSE THEY, UNLIKE YOU, ARE BIG PUSSIES, RIGHT? AND YOU’RE THE JUNKYARD DOG WHO WON’T BACK DOWN FROM A FIGHT, RIGHT? SO, WHY DON’T YOU RUN FOR OFFICE, NEVE? IT’S NOT SO CRAZY AN IDEA IS IT? YOUR FORMER FELLOW ESTABLISHMENT SPOKESPERSON KEN GARCIA WAS BEING RECRUITED TO RUN FOR SUPERVISOR AND IT STILL MIGHT HAPPEN, SO WHY NOT YOU, NEVIUS? THEN EVERYTHING WOULD BE PERFECT!

He even announced early in the campaign that he wouldn’t be bringing up one of the real wedge issues between the two – the reinstatement of Sheriff Ross Mirkarimi after domestic abuse allegations.

OH HERE WE GO, THIS IS THE WHOLE POINT OF THIS NEW BIT FROM NEVE. NOW LET’S TRAVEL BACK IN TIME TO 2012 FOR THIS HAM-FISTED, BONE-HEADED EFFORT FROM THE NEVIUS:

“The Board of Supervisors finally hearing the official misconduct charges for suspended Sheriff Ross Mirkarimi sounds like a cause for celebration. Finally, everyone gets some closure on this long, strange soap opera. Don’t bet on it. It’s not that Mirkarimi is expected to have much of a shot to win reinstatement. All the smart money at City Hall is predicting an 11-0 vote against his case. That way everyone has some political cover. An ideological vote - John Avalos or David Campos voting for Mirkarimi to confirm far left credentials – isn’t likely. This is a vote that people will remember, and if someone like Campos has designs on the state Assembly, it could come back to bite him.

SEE HOW THAT WORKS? 2012 NEVIUS PINED FOR “CLOSURE.” WHY? BECAUSE HE GENUINELY THOUGHT HIS POLITICAL FACTION WOULD WIN AND ROSS MIRKARIMI WOULD HAVE TO LOSE HIS JOB. BUT ACTUALLY, THE “SMART MONEY” WAS WRONG AND THIS 11-0 SLAM DUNK OF A VOTE WENT THE OTHER WAY. IT’S HARD TO TELL HOW HARD NEVIUS WAS SPUN ON THIS ONE. HE BECAME SO INVESTED IN THIS POLITICAL ISSUE HE BELIEVED WHAT HE WANTED TO BELIEVE. HE ENDED UP MISLEADING HIS READERS, ON PURPOSE OR NOT. NEVIUS DOES THIS KIND OF THING ALL THE TIME AND HE NEVER ACKNOWLEDGES HIS ERRORS, HE JUST MOVES ON TO THE NEXT ISSUE. ANYWAY, NOTE THE THREAT HE MADE AGAINST CAMPOS BACK IN  2012. WELL NOW, NEVIUS IS WORRIED THAT HIS THREAT MEANS NOTHING. SO HE NOW REALLY, REALLY WANTS TO MAKE GOOD ON HIS THREAT. YOU SEE, REPORTER NEVIUS ISN’T SERVING HIS READERS, HE SERVING HISSELF. BUT I DIGRESS, PLEASE CONTINUE NEVE.

Chiu voted against reinstatement, and Campos – despite avowed support for domestic violence prevention organizations – voted in favor.

SO THE QUESTION WAS WHAT TO DO ABOUT MIRKARIMI’S CONVICTION, IT WASN’T ACTUALLY ABOUT DOMESTIC VIOLENCE IRL, OF COURSE

There was a school of thought that said the Mirkarimi hearings at the Board of Supervisors was old news, but it has continued to come up in public forums. Chiu’s camp has gotten the message, and he is beginning to press that issue in debates. To which his supporters say: “Finally.” Chiu is a cautious and deliberative politician, but some of his backers have told him he needs to take the gloves off. Mirkarimi, who was reinstated in October 2012, could be a winner for him.

OF COURSE, NEVIUS HIMSELF IS  A “CHIU SUPPORTER,” AND A STRONG SUPPORTER AT THAT.

Campos has an explanation for his vote, but it is complicated. He says he felt Mirkarimi’s behavior – grabbing his wife’s arm hard enough to leave a bruise – did not fall within the legal definition of “official misconduct.”

IT’S NOT COMPLICATED AT ALL, NEVIUS. THAT’S WHY THE PRESIDENT OF THE ETHICS COMMISSION, WHO’S WAAAAAY SMARTER THAN YOU, NEVIUS, AND WHO HAS BACKBONE, RECOMMENDED THAT MIRKARIMI SHOULD KEEP HIS JOB.

So, to the dismay of women’s groups, he supported reinstatement.

GEE NEVE, IF YOU DON’T AGREE WITH A POLITICIAN, WHAT YOU DO IS SUPPORT AN OPPONENT OR SUPPORT A RECALL, RIGHT?

Look for Chiu to maintain his professorial demeanor while his campaign hits Campos on opposing new housing and bashing the tech industry.

HOW WOULD YOU WRITE THIS IF YOU WERE A NEUTRAL AND DETACHED JOURNALIST, NEVE? HOW WOULD YOU WRITE THIS IF YOU WERE A MEMBER OF THE SAME POLITICAL FACTION AS DAVID CAMPOS?

And Mirkarimi will be coming up at every opportunity.

HEY NEVIUS, WHAT HAPPENED TO “CLOSURE?” AHAHAHAHAHAHA!

Campos will come back with accusations of backroom deals and complaints that Chiu isn’t a friend to rent control interests.

“RENT CONTROL INTERESTS?” WHAT DOES THAT MEAN, NEVIUS? ARE YOU TALKING ABOUT PEOPLE WITH RENT CONTROL?

And by the way, he will ask Chiu, why are you endorsing Kim?

OH, SO YOUR VENDETTA IS AGAINST JANE KIM AS WELL? OH MY. AGAIN, WHAT HAPPENED TO CLOSURE, DUDE?

And we’re off. A race. Finally.

UH, NEWSFLASH, NEVIUS. DAVID CHIU WILL WIN BOTH RACES WITH OR WITHOUT YOUR EFFORTS.


OH WHAT’S THIS, CW NEVIUS HAS A STINGER! FOLLOW HIS LINK IF YOU WANT TO READ IT, BUT IT WAS ACTUALLY A “QUOTE OF THE WEEK” FROM HEATHER KNIGHT FROM LAST YEAR. CHECK IT:

“I am not running for mayor, and I will not run for mayor unless Willie Brown and Rose Pak form a ‘Run, Art, Run’ committee.”

DOES THE NEVIUS THINK HE HAS A FRESH QUOTE? I CAN’T TELL, OH WELL.

New Warriors Arena to be Slightly Lower, Assuming It Gets Built in the First Place – Artist’s Conception

Tuesday, November 12th, 2013

So, unlike the disastrous America’s Cup and 8 Washington campaigns, the Golden State Warriors project is based around stuff that San Franciscans can actually benefit from.

So that’s a good sign.

Remember, the more you complain now, the better this deal gets for San Francisco. You the public are the bad cop and genial SFGov figurehead Ed Lee is the good cop. And of course the good cop won’t be able to get the best deal possible for San Francisco without the bad cop.

If Ed Lee doesn’t like this game, then he can just retire, right? Or go back to his old job the way he promised to in the first place, right?

It’s too bad that Oakland will lose its team.

Oh well.

Haight Ashbury Street Festival Cavalcade of Photos

Sunday, June 9th, 2013

Well it’s the morning of the second Sunday of June, so that means it’s almost time for the Haight Ashbury Street Festival.

Lets take a look at some photos from recent years.

Look up…

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…and down…

…and all around:

From Bluoz: Upper Haight is for Lovers:

Let your freak flag fly, baby. From the Eastern Stage:

From famous David Yu:

From Brian Brooks

And here’s one from Chris Witte:

There’s a feeling I get/

when I look to the West…

…and the East…

…on Haight Street on the Second Sunday in June.

At least the Yelpers like Frank:

This ganga guy in purple will sue you for $1000 if you take his photo, or something:

via Carnesuarus

And Obama in a Giants cap, just the way they had it at the recent Union Street Festival:

via Carnesaurus

You know who loves the Haight Street Fair? Parole agents

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A mass of humanity:

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Hookahs! Get your hookahs!  It’s Hookahs.com

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A dancing baby grooving on Haight Street:

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Can you see the superfluity of nuns in white approaching the Fair? Also note the F430 Ferrari supercar (sans license plates), one of many exoticars that made the journey to the Upper Haight today. Also note the sign: “No Open Containers of Alcohol.” Too bad.

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Of course, all you need to get around the alcohol ban is a gallon jug of overproofed white rum and a giveaway “water” bottle. As seen on Ashbury.

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Former District Five Supervisor Ross Mirkarimi on the scene

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Poorbot looking for handouts:

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“SHOW US YOUR BOOBS… please.” “FABULOUS PRIZES.” “DON’T WORRY (WE’RE GAY)” These inebriates residing above the Ben & Jerry’s at the corner of Ashbury were true to their word, tossing down trinkets to all flashers male and female.

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You kmow why this San Francisco Native baby is better than you? Cause he had the foresight to be born in San Francisco, that’s why. He won the lottery/ when he was born.

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Bong Hits 4 Jesus

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And There You Have It.

Golden State Warriors Modify Semi-Publicly-Financed Arena Proposal – Say Hello To My Little Friend!

Sunday, May 5th, 2013

Well the announcement is officially coming this AM, but Messrs. Matier und Ross already have the skivvy on the brand-new, slightly-more-NIMBY-friendly proposal.

And, here, check the latest illustrations.

From the former proposal, a silvery looming UFO with kayak access…

…to the new proposal, a slightly lower silvery looming UFO without kayak access:

So Warriors, take that 13% rate down to 3% and then you might have something, you might have a privately-financed stadium deal.

Now let’s review our waterfront proposals.

The America’s Cup deal was poorly-negotiated on purpose so we could pay for Larry Ellison’s ego trip. It’s an ongoing travesty.

And 8 Washington is corruption.

But this here arena proposal seems OK fine to me, more or less.

I’ll now invite the rich, property-owning NIMBYs of SoMA to move to Fairfield, where 15% of the houses are in foreclosure.

The Lighted Christmas Snowflakes of the Corrupt Twitterloin: Bringing Holiday Cheer to Stolen iPhone Sellers

Tuesday, November 6th, 2012

I’ll tell you, the lighted Christmas snowflakes of Market Street used to stop just past Fifth Street, because, you know, who cares about Mid Market?

Well, these days, the lighted Christmas snowflakes of Market Street make it all the way to 7th Street, AFAICS.

See?

Click to expand

Hurray!

When Piloting Your Schwinn Stingray “Wheelie Bike” Down Market Street, Don’t Forget to Display the Proper Attitude

Wednesday, March 7th, 2012

Thusly:

Click to expand

wheelie bike, also called a muscle bikehigh-riser, or banana bike, is a type of stylized children’s bicycle designed in the 1960s to resemble a chopper motorcycle and characterized by ape hanger handlebars, a banana seat with sissy bar, and small (16-to-20-inch (410 to 510 mm)) wheels. Notable examples include the Schwinn Sting-Ray and Krate lines and the Raleigh Chopper line. Other notable manufacturers and retailers that offered models include AMFCCMColumbiaHuffyIversonJ. C. PenneyMalvern StarMonarkMurrayRossSears, and Vindec.

Leave Us Review: Ivory Madison is NOT a “Trained Attorney” and is NOT a “Nonpracticing Attorney” and is NOT Any Other Kind

Monday, March 5th, 2012

Now if you want to say that now-famous nonlawyer Ivory Madison was trained as an attorney, well, that would be O.K., I s’pose, but you can’t allege, as some have, recently, that she’s a “trained attorney.”

No.

No, no, no, no, no.*

Cause, you see, that goes too far.

OTOH, you can say that certain people thought IM was an attorney, for good reason, actually, and acted accordingly.

You could say that.

Imagine you’re a high school football player who went to a Catholic church to confess to sexual contact with a 15-year-old only to find out that the priest you thought you were talking to was actually Ashton Kutcher punking you. Would your mouthpiece start saying how evidence of your privileged communication should be thrown out of court because Ashton is a “trained priest?”

I doubt it.

But there are other good arguments to make, right?

Having said that, there’s nothing out there to suggest that Ivory acted improperly in the case at hand.

Did she “struggle” with the issues? Perhaps, but so have others before her

Let’s hope this is the final Ivory Madison is not an attorney post you’ll have to read.

Oh, so it turns out Ivory Madison a merely a “law school graduate.”

NTTAWWT. Not at all.

But when you hold yourself out as a “nonpracticing lawyer,” well, that can create confusion, non? 

Via ComicVine 

I think I’ll file this one under alpha female self-puffery, and that will that be that.

All right, GASNM.

(Boy, San Francisco is a small town, huh?)

*My top five favorite poetic devices of all time are repetition, repetition, repetition, repetition, and repetition.

Oh, Turns Out That Ivory Madison Isn’t Any Kind of Attorney at All – A Mystery Solved

Tuesday, January 31st, 2012

Oh, so it turns out you’re a “law school graduate.”

NTTAWWT. Not at all.

But when you hold yourself out as a “nonpracticing lawyer,” well, that can create confusion, non? 

Via ComicVine 

I think I’ll file this one under alpha female self-puffery, and that will that be that.

All right, GASNM.

(Boy, San Francisco is a small town, huh?)

The Night the Lights Went Out on Market – Christmas Cheer Goes Dark in the Mid-Market Twitterloin

Thursday, December 15th, 2011

Here’s how things looked last night on Market Street, with all the streetlights and giant snowflakes turned off for some reason.

Oh, baby, that’s dark:

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Could it have something to do with the jury-rigged, frat-house-style wiring our City Family uses?

I know not.

When, oh when, will our Path of Gold glitter once again?