Posts Tagged ‘salesforce’

Dreamforce Nightmare: Ohio-Based Advertising Firm Glee-fully Mocks SF – Boasts of “Earned Media Impressions” from Illegal Graffiti

Tuesday, September 15th, 2015

Here’s a typical tweet about yesterday’s L’Affaire du Bluewolf:

“Why not tell what you think of his blithe, scofflaw attitude in smearing his graffiti all over SF?

And here’s the write-up by Joe Garofoli: “Tech company defies San Francisco graffiti ban at Dreamforce.”

Now let’s hear from the people at CivitasNow, the company what promised to clean up the sidewalks of SoMA and the Financh yesterday afternoon:

You see that? They think this whole sitch is funny.

I think I see the problem here, I think the CivitasNow people are thinking they might get a ticket for two or three or four or five figures, but, IRL, what they might end up with is a settlement for six or seven figures if they continue to embarrass / piss off / mock area residents, such as a Mayor, or a City Attorney, or even a Benioff or two.

Hey CivitasNow, hey Bluewolf, do you think there might be a reason why some DreamForcers covered up some of your numerous chalk ads?

Perhaps you all have reached Pariah status, but you don’t even know it?

Marc Benioff’s DREAMFORCE 2015 Starts Off on the Wrong Foot: Illegal Ads from “Bluewolf” Mar Sidewalks of SoMA

Monday, September 14th, 2015

[UPDATE 2: Tech company defies city ban against putting logo on sidewalks]

[UPDATE: This webpage (“Dreamforce Swag”) was just pulled by “Bluewolf.” Here’s what it used to look like:

Capturefsfffsssd copy

So that takes care of that.

So, no you didn’t have permits, right, Bluewolf people? Or if you do, then share the info – it sure would interesting to see that. Thank you, drive through. END OF UPDATES]

Via KatieOnViolin, you can’t do this:

Capturefsff copy

Oh, what’s that, it’s only temporary? Well, that’s what they all say.

And there’s this:

“Citizens can obtain permits for sidewalk stencils, but there is no legal means for a company to advertise using sidewalk stencils, Gordon said. Still, many companies throughout the years have created guerrilla marketing campaigns on city sidewalks, including Zynga and IBM.”

What you bluewolfers ought to do, you know, wikiwiki, is come on downstairs, buy some brushes at a CVS, and then start scrubbing…

A Billboard I Didn’t Understand: “M&A HACK”

Monday, September 15th, 2014

At first I though this billboard had something to do with the recent ill-starred Hackathon.

Then I thought it was a beef from a laid-off salesperson.

But now I see it’s just another promotion for a business idea / patent.

7J7C6712 copy

Boy, I love patents, don’t you?

Here’s my favorite:

“Method of exercising a cat
US 5443036 A
A method for inducing cats to exercise consists of directing a beam of invisible light produced by a hand-held laser apparatus onto the floor or wall or other opaque surface in the vicinity of the cat, then moving the laser so as to cause the bright pattern of light to move in an irregular way fascinating to cats, and to any other animal with a chase instinct.”

Isn’t it adorable?

Capturedf copy

“Marissa Mayer in Conversation with Marc Benioff” at the Castro on October 30th – Via INFORUM, the Commonwealth Club’s “Innovation Lab”

Thursday, August 21st, 2014

I’m figuring Marc’s going to go all 60 Minutes on Marissa during his hard-hitting “interview” at the Castro Theatre, j/k.

More seriously, check out the “nosebleed” tickets for just $10.

Hey, both these people have had photo shoots at San Francisco Magazine. Benioff was so enamored, he’s using one of their photos as his g0-to headshot these days. Mayer was featured about six years ago – I remember ’cause I had one of my photos taking up two pages – I should dig up that issue sometime. Anyway, the title of the piece had the word “Googirl” in it and I was thinking, “That’s not cricket.” So they Googled the term and then decided to change the title. These days, they don’t deign to fix their mistakes (like talking about diesel powered Boeing jets) after publication. Oh well.

And now, on with the show:

Marissa Mayer in conversation with Marc Benioff – A Visionary Award Event

INFORUM is awarding Marissa Mayer, CEO of Yahoo!, our 21st Century Visionary Award. Marissa is only one of 25 women to run a Fortune 500 company, and No. 1 on Fortune Magazine’s “40 Under 40″ list. She began her career as the 20th employee at Google.

In 2012, Mayer claimed a bigger stage with her appointment as CEO of Yahoo! In two years, Mayer has launched Yahoo! Screen Live, acquired 17 companies including Tumblr, and spearheaded facelifts for the mail app, homepage, and Flickr. Her boldness has made her a household name.

Marissa will be interviewed by Marc Benioff, Chairman and CEO of Google Executive Chairman Eric Schmidt will present the award to Marissa via a video introduction.

Join us for an evening with two giants revolutionizing the tech industry at The Castro Theatre.”


Bonfire of the Vanities: “ Chairman and CEO to Speak at [Re/Code] Code Conference” – My, How Cozy!

Tuesday, May 27th, 2014


10 “Oh Marc, you’re the best thing ever!”

20 “Oh no, Re/, _you’re_ the best thing ever!”

30 GOTO 10

[Mutual Admiration Society = OFF]

You know Benioff, it’s been all downhill since the first UCSF announcement, the first taxpayer-subsidized $100,000,000.

Oh, here’s the big announcement, with love from the RPV (0n a ryhmin’ spree, a straight G):

“ Chairman and CEO to Speak at Code Conference

SAN FRANCISCO, May 27, 2014 /PRNewswire/ — (NYSE: CRM), the world’s #1 CRM platform, today announced that Chairman and CEO Marc Benioff will participate in Re/code’s inaugural Code Conference on Wednesday, May 28, 2014 at 4:20 p.m. (PDT) / 7:20 p.m. (EDT) in Rancho Palos Verdes, California. Benioff will join Workday CEO Aneel Bhusri in a discussion about the future of enterprise technology, moderated by Kara Swisher, co-executive editor, Re/code and co-executive producer, Code Conference.

Code Conference is where top industry influencers in media and technology gather for in-depth conversations about the impact of digital technology on our lives and our businesses, today and in the future.

Following the event, the full length video of the panel will be available on Re/code’s website at

About Re/code
Re/code is an independent tech news, reviews and analysis site, from the most informed and respected journalists in technology and media. Led by Walt Mossberg and Kara Swisher and the rest of the team who formerly built the trusted AllThingsD site and the legendary D: All Things Digital conferences.

Re/code launched in January 2014 and announced a full calendar of industry conferences and events, including Code Conference.

Re/code is owned by the independent media company, Revere Digital LLC. The minority investors and strategic partners in Revere are NBCUniversal News Group and Windsor Media.

About is the world’s largest provider of customer relationship management (CRM) software. For more information about (NYSE: CRM), visit:

© 2014, inc. All rights reserved. Salesforce, Salesforce1, Sales Cloud, Service Cloud, Marketing Cloud, AppExchange, Salesforce Platform, and others are trademarks of, inc. Other brands featured herein may be trademarks of their respective owners.

Golden State Warriors Declare New Mission Bay Proposal a “Win-Win” Already – Here’s the Press Release

Tuesday, April 22nd, 2014

I’ll just say that “Mission Bay” doesn’t really sound like an “inland site” to me, but whatever.

Here are your key quotes from this morning’s press release:

“Private Property, 

inland site, 

private property, 

private, inland property, 

no public property”

Ok then.

Oh, and what does “digitally fit” mean? IDK.

Here it is:

April 22, 2014

WARRIORS MAKE A PLAY FOR MISSION BAY – Team Reaches Deal with for Arena on Private Property in San Francisco

SAN FRANCISCO – The Golden State Warriors announced today terms have been reached with to purchase land in San Francisco’s Mission Bay neighborhood, where the team intends to build a new state-of-the-art sports and entertainment center.

Terms of the deal were not announced.

“We believe Mission Bay is a perfect fit,” said Joe Lacob, Co-Executive Chairman and CEO of the Warriors. “It is a wonderful inland site in a dynamic part of the City that is convenient for fans from all over the Bay Area. We are buying private property, but the city will also get a new 5 ½ – acre waterfront park. It’s a win-win for everyone.”

“We’ve said all along we wanted to create a spectacular cultural destination for the City and the entire region,” said Co-Executive Chairman Peter Guber “This is about a shared cultural experience: going to a beautiful and inviting place to see a game, see a show, attend a convention. It will be easily accessible, state of the art, digitally fit, and second to none.”

Although specific details of the plan remain to be announced, the Warriors said previously discussed basic elements of the event center remain in effect: the arena will hold about 18,000 seats; it will showcase NBA basketball games as well as concerts, cultural events, family shows and convention activities; and it will be privately financed on private land, virtually unprecedented among major league sports and entertainment facilities in the U.S.

The new Warriors event center will be built on 12 acres of private, inland property, bounded by 3rd, 16th and South Streets, and Terry Francois Blvd.

The transaction with involves no public property and no public subsidy. There are no naming rights or sponsorship rights associated with the transaction.

The Mission Bay site is well served by public transportation, and borders Muni’s 3rd Street Light Rail. The location is also within a few blocks of Caltrain, and BART connects via an easy underground connection to Muni, both at Embarcadero and at Powell Station once the Central Subway opens in 2018. The Mission Bay neighborhood already has ample parking. And a new I-280 freeway connection at Mariposa Street will land less than a block away.

Mission Bay, a former redevelopment area that became the home of UCSF’s second campus, has been emerging as a modern urban center for the past 15 years. The Warriors new home will be within walking distance of several public plazas, parks, restaurants and retail corridors. AT&T Park is only a few blocks to the north; the Dogpatch, Potrero Hill and Bayview-Hunter’s Point neighborhoods are just to the south.

A key piece of the long-planned Mission Bay redevelopment puzzle, the build-out of this site, will also trigger the construction of a new five-and-a-half-acre waterfront park. Across Terry Francois Blvd. from the arena, the park will feature water-oriented activities and large lawn areas, which can accommodate a variety of recreational uses, similar to Marina Green.

“We’ve spent the past two years listening. We’ve learned a lot. We’re proud of the plans we’ve put forward to date, and we’re thrilled to announce this great leap forward,” said Rick Welts, President and COO of the Warriors. “We are looking forward to engaging with the neighborhood and, ultimately, making this site ‘Warriors Ground.’ This is our path to San Francisco.”

The Warriors first arrived in San Francisco in 1960 and played their first 11 seasons in the City by the Bay. The Warriors new ownership, led by Lacob and Guber, purchased the team in 2010. In 2012, the team announced plans to build a new sports and entertainment facility in San Francisco. The team has targeted the 2018-19 NBA season to debut its new arena.

Mission Bay by the Numbers

size of parcel (in acres)

Approx. # of seats in arena

Approx. height of arena (in feet)

Blocks to Caltrain

Blocks to Muni

Blocks to BART (via underground Muni connection)

Block to freeway

Existing parking spaces in Mission Bay

Current building height limit in Mission Bay (in feet)

Number of Top 25 U.S. cities (by population) without a large indoor arena (San Francisco)

What It Looks Like When DreamForce Conventioneers Report Street Crime to the SFPD – A Few Questions

Thursday, November 21st, 2013

This pair here near 4th and Mission were victimized by, you guessed it, ladies, a team of mens.

Of course I had already guessed that they were DreamForcers but the officer directly asked them. So hey, how many Dreamforcers became crime victims this year? Does the SFPD keep records?

Just asking.

San Francisco’s Best Billionaire, Marc Benioff, Donates Half a Million for the 2012 Holidays – Marc and Lynne Benioff Foundation

Monday, November 26th, 2012

Marc Benioff > Larry Ellison.

Marc Benioff > Republican Ron Conway.

Am I right, people?

So who’s left?

Anyway, this is becoming an annual tradition for Lynne and Marc Benioff – deets below.

Standing in front of the half-billion UCSF Mission Bay children’s hospital with their name on the front:

Click to expand

All the deets, released this AM:

“Marc and Lynne Benioff are making the following donations:

· $250,000 to Catholic Charities CYO’s Star Community Home to provide temporary housing and assistance to families in need. This will be executed as a challenge grant, whereby contributions by the public to support Star Community Home will be matched dollar for dollar by the Benioffs, up to the amount of their gift.

· $230,000 to Hamilton Family Center’s First Avenues program to provide temporary rental subsidies to help at-risk families from becoming homeless.

· $70,000 to the San Francisco Chronicle’s Season of Sharing Fund to provide one-time temporary assistance to families experiencing unexpected crisis.

“Marc and I want to further our partnership with the City to break the cycle of homelessness for children and families in San Francisco,” said Lynne Benioff. “We hope that others will join us this holiday season to ensure the health and safety of every child in the City.”

For more information about the Catholic Charities CYO’s Star Community Home, go to:

For more information about the Hamilton Family Services’ First Avenues program, go

Keep on keeping on, Marc and Lynne Benioff

Second Annual Art Day at UCSF Benioff Children’s Hospital a Huge Success – A Red Carpet Fashion Show

Wednesday, November 16th, 2011

Get all the deets on this special day at UCSF below.

The red carpet up at 505 Parnassus:

Just after the unveiling:

Click to expand

“Members of the UCSF community are invited to celebrate the second annual Art Day at the UCSF Benioff Children’s Hospital on Wednesday, Nov. 16, featuring a red carpet fashion show with hospital gowns completely redesigned by young hospital patients.

All of the creations are designed by the kids, and will be modeled by a mix of staff and patients. Other activities include a photo booth, where patients can insert themselves into famous works of art, and professional artists who will share their artistic processes.

“Re-designing the hospital gowns gives these kids an opportunity to share their feelings about what the hospital gowns mean to them and what they signify,” said UCSF Child Life Services Manager Michael Towne. “The kids are allowed to feel and actively express the way they want to.”

The art therapy program at UCSF Benioff Children’s Hospital provides a creative way for children and their families to communicate and better cope with their hospital experience. Art therapy encourages patient engagement, expression and an increased understanding of the emotional impact of illness and medical treatment.

The Child Life Department recognizes the integral role hospital child life programs play in the healing process and works with children, teens and their families to ensure that each child’s developmental and emotional needs are met.

“Patients need a forum to express what it means to have cancer, or cystic fibrosis or to have experienced a major trauma,” said Towne. “The whole issue of illness has a profound impact on a person’s identity, and awareness of mortality. And sometimes, all the words in the world aren’t going to capture what’s going on.”

Fashion Show

WHEN: Wednesday, Nov. 16 from 2 to 4 p.m.

WHERE: UCSF Benioff Children’s Hospital, 505 Parnassus Ave., Sixth Floor Courtyard”

Larry Ellison, the Biggest Douchebag in the Bay Area, Cancels OpenWorld Keynote – Afraid of Marc Benioff, Salesforce

Wednesday, October 5th, 2011

I’ll tell you, I don’t know a thing regarding what Oracle people are saying about Larry Ellison abruptly canceling the Keynote Address scheduled for Oracle OpenWorld today.

But it looks like Oracle is running scared, huh?

No matter, you can still watch this year’s Keynote by tuning in online – it won’t be at the convention itself, it’ll be just up the street.


Artist’s conception of Larry Ellison – look for him to be even douchier come America’s Cup 2013:

Click to expand

(Now, speaking of Salesforce, it took a while, but finally the $omewhat-corrupt Ed Lee Admini$tration is under$tanding how Salesforce is more important to $an Francisco than glamorous Twitter and Zynga combined. Proof of this is the fact that Salesforce now gets mentioned in the same breath when Twitter and Zynga get discussed in Ed Lee press release / campaign material. Is that a good thing? I don’t know.)

Anyway, all the deets:

“Oracle Cancels Keynote at Oracle OpenWorld 2011 – Join Chairman and CEO Marc Benioff at the Ame Restaurant in San Francisco to experience the power of the cloud

SAN FRANCISCO, Oct. 4, 2011 — (NYSE: CRM), the enterprise cloud computing ( company, today announced that Oracle cancelled‘s keynote at Oracle OpenWorld 2011. Chairman and CEO Marc Benioff will now speak on Wednesday, Oct. 5, 2011 at 10:30 a.m. PT at Ame Restaurant in the St. Regis Hotel, San Francisco, CA. Immediately following Benioff’s talk, at approximately 12:00 p.m. PT, he will host a press Q&A. Both events will be streamed live on‘s website at

“Oracle just cancelled my keynote tomorrow. But the show must go on! Everyone is welcome to join me at Ame Restaurant tomorrow to hear about the social enterprise. Sorry Larry, the cloud can’t be stopped,” said Marc Benioff, chairman and CEO,

Additional Resources

–  To watch Benioff’s session and the press Q&A live, go to
—  A live audiocast of Benioff’s session and the press Q&A will be
available at
—  Follow @salesforce on Twitter.
—  Become a fan of on Facebook:


With more than 100,000 customers, is the enterprise cloud computing company that is leading the shift to the social enterprise. Social enterprises leverage social, mobile and open cloud technologies to put customers at the heart of their business. Based on‘s real-time, multitenant architecture, the company’s platform and application services include:

–  Salesforce Chatter, a secure, private social network for your business
—  Salesforce Sales Cloud, for sales force automation and contact
—  Salesforce Service Cloud, for customer service and support solutions
—  Salesforce Radian6, for social media monitoring and engagement
—  Salesforce, for the most complete source of accurate business
—  AppExchange, the leading marketplace for enterprise cloud computing
—, for custom application development
—  Heroku, for building social and mobile customer apps
—, the world’s first enterprise cloud database

Any unreleased services or features referenced in this or other press releases or public statements are not currently available and may not be delivered on time or at all. Customers who purchase applications should make their purchase decisions based upon features that are currently available. has headquarters in San Francisco, with offices in Europe and Asia, and trades on the New York Stock Exchange under the ticker symbol “CRM.” For more information please visit, or call 1-800-NO-SOFTWARE.”