Posts Tagged ‘scam’

This Expensive Tesla Model S Lacks a Front License Plate, Yet It’s Legal – One Simple Trick

Thursday, July 20th, 2017

So a certain kind of person doesn’t like front license plates, even though Cali is a Front License Plate State. Why, because it mars “the look” of their Porsche, Mercedes, BMW, Audi and/or Tesla. You know some of these people, Gentle Reader. I guarantee it.

Anyway, a subset of this group this is the cohort what takes years to put on their rear license plates, because, IDK, freedom? Because they don’t want to pay bridge tolls? Because they don’t want their, uh, affairs looked into by pesky family attorneys down the road? Because they want their rides to appear “brand new?” IDK.

And a subset of that group are those who drive around without plates but with an 11-99 CHP Foundation / Please Don’t Cite Me For Speeding Because I’m One Of The Good Guys license plate holder.

So that was the wind-up and now here’s the pitch. What kind of illegal behavior is this?

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Surprise! An MFG plate, for MANUFACTURING. And that means that Tesla can send out prototypes or whatever without an FLP

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See?

Manufacturers

vehicle manufacturers license platevehicle manufacturers license platevehicle manufacturers license plate

vehicle manufacturers license platevehicle manufacturers license platevehicle manufacturers license plate

Exclusions: Cannot be used on service vehicles. Only one plate is required on the vehicle.

Statutory Authority: §§9262, 11715

Nice and legal.

🌈

If the “SFPD” Calls You from (415) 553-0123 Demanding Money, It’s Not the Popo, It’s a Scam – Press Release

Friday, June 30th, 2017

The news of the day, from an official SFGov department which should NOT be using .org as a suffix, and which should prolly find a different acronym, for a reason what’s painfully obvious.

“*** PRESS RELEASE ***

San Francisco Public Safety Officials Warn of Scam Spoofing the Police Phone Numbers

San Francisco, CA – San Francisco public safety officials are informing the public about a consumer scam where aggressive telephone calls are being made by scammers posing as San Francisco police officers. Concerned residents that received these calls today reported the scam to 9-1-1 dispatchers.

These callers claim they have a warrant for the call recipient’s arrest and demand payment in gift cards in order avoid arrest. Technology allows the scammer to “spoof” or alter the Caller ID to make it appear that the call is coming from the San Francisco Police Department’s Non-Emergency Number which is 415-553-0123.

Neither the San Francisco Police Department nor any other City and County of San Francisco agency will call you to demand payment and threaten arrest for any matter.

If you get a phone call from someone claiming to be from the SFPD or any other law enforcement or government agency demanding payment, immediately HANG UP. Under no circumstances should you engage them in conversation or provide any personal information. Make notes about what the caller said and do one of the following:

If you’ve been targeted by this scam, please report the incident by completing the following online report: http://sanfranciscopolice.org/reports#file-report. You may also call 311 to file a harassing phone call report or go to any SFPD District Station to file a report.

You know, kind of like this.

And did you catch that, they’re saying, “DON’T CALL 911 FOR THIS, YOU KNUCKLEHEADS,” more or less.

Until the next scam, Gentle Readers…

Vaunted “Box-Spring” Revealed to be the Scam That It Is

Thursday, June 18th, 2015

I’ve always wondered this, I’ve wondered of what use is a box spring?

People tell me, “It’s to support the mattress.” And I think, oh, the way the floor would?

Now for all I know, this Wiki entry has been hijacked by the North Carolina Box Spring Institute, but here we go:

The purpose of the box-spring is threefold:

  • to raise the mattress’ height, making it easier to get in and out of bed; [OH, OK, SO IT’S A BED HEIGHTENER – CHECK]
  • to absorb shock and reduce wear to the mattress; [THIS SOUNDS LIKE BS TO ME. HOW DOES THE MATTRESS KNOW THAT IT’S NOT SIMPLY ON THE FLOOR? DOES THE MATTRESS SAY TO ITSELF, ”
    OH, I’M NOT ON THE FLOOR SO I’LL CONSCIOUSLY MAKE THE EFFORT TO WEAR OUT SLOWER] and
  • to create a flat and firm structure for the mattress to lie upon. [OH, THE THE WAY THE FLOOR WOULD?]

Another dissatisfied customer, earlier taken in by the ongoing boxspring scam:

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Here we go, revised propaganda from this century:

  • You can put the mattress on the floor. This actually gives the mattress proper support, but it doesn’t look as nice, is more difficult to get in and out of bed, and isn’t as sanitary since you’re right on the floor.

Oh that’s right, sometimes the Norway rats make it past the encircling ring of traps around my bed and then spend the night sleeping on my face. Come to think of it, that’s not sanitary at all!

So that’s the answer – a boxspring is an overwrought platform to enheighten your mattress.

But I don’t see how a mattress platform could possibly “wear out.” And I don’t see why people pay thousands of dollars for them.

END OF LINE.

Artisanal Gas: “The Tires In This Vehicle Have Been Filled With Nitrogen” – An Institute for Nitrogen?

Wednesday, May 20th, 2015

OMG:

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Here’s the spiel from the “Get Nitrogen Institute,” complete with a promotional video from Jay Leno.

And here’s Click and Clack on this subject.

And here’s a dude what says the whole idea is a scam.

Now do I think the world needs a Nitrogen Institute? No, I do not.

And do I think this sticker on this car’s window is laughable?

Yes, yes I do.

END OF LINE

What Percentage of the Drivers of These Cars Use Handicap Placards to Get Free Parking, You Know, Primarily?

Friday, February 6th, 2015

I’m guessing 66%, or 100%.

(If you want to see scenes like this, head to Washington and Davis, just north of the Financh. And for some reason, handicap placard users tend to have brand new cars, and a lot of them have Mercedes-Benz S-Classes…)

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Hey, here’s another question:

What percentage of California physicians have ever been disciplined for signing off  on somebody’s handicap placard application?

The answer is zero percent (0%), in the entire history of Cali.

So that’s why it’s preferable for doctors to just sign your form instead of explaining why s/he doesn’t want to sign your form and, and, you know, piss you off.

You know, I’m in my 40’s, but when I was in my 30’s, my knees felt warm for a couple days. I looked it up and thought, oh so that’s what bursitis is. And people were all no you don’t have bursitis, that’s what plumbers get. And I thought, no, plumbers get chronic bursitis and I got me some acute bursitis. So I took an ibu pill and that was that – I never had this symptom again. Now, Gentle Reader, do you think I could go to a doctor, or a non-doctor, cause the DMV takes the word of pretty much anyone, and say I want a handicap placard for my bursitis condition, and then get a handicap placard, and then park all day all day, for free? I bet I could.

Not that I would.

But I’ll tell you, whenever SFGov gets around to ending this FREE PARKING FIESTA scam, watch them all fall down.

As up in Portland, OR. Hey, you know Portland is a leader in so many things, so guess what they just did up there? That’s right, NO SOUP FOR YOU! And, all of a sudden, most of the handicapped placards went away.

Someday this will happen down here in SF.

Someday.

Packt Like Sardines: How Many Cars Can You Put Into Just One San Francisco Parking Lot?

Wednesday, April 24th, 2013

Well, at least for this particularly oddly-shaped piece of real estate on Main Street near Folsom, the answer was this many:

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“Last in, first out.” Click to expand.

I don’t know if this lot in SoMA is still around. The photo was taken from the office of a billionaire who was quite solicitous owing to a project he wanted to kick off before he himself kicked off.

Here’s what I wrote a half decade back:

It might be a pain to park here, under the shadow of the new Infinity San Francisco towers, but at least you won’t get the boot, or get into a chain reaction accident, or get all messy. Of course, if you work for San Francisco Honda, then just park wherever – the sidewalk, for example.

Lastly, DO NOT PAY THIS MAN!

If You Try to “Opt Out” of Useless Telephone Book Delivery, the Horrible YP Yellow Pages People Will Hound You

Wednesday, January 9th, 2013

In perpetuity.

Check it:

“A valid telephone number is required in order to process and verify opt-out requests. Incorrect or omitted information may prevent us from honoring your request.”

Why do they say they need your phone number? So they can ask you if you really, really think phonebooks are so useless these days that you don’t want them anymore.

And then, they’ll call you the next year and the next year and the next year. You know, to make sure. Again.

Forever.

So. which is worse? Would you rather get a useless phone book or a useless phone call?

Weeks after delivery, these books are still around:

Via Warzau Wynn – click to expand

YP Yellow Pages Local Search people, nobody in San Francisco wants what you’re selling.

Why don’t you go away?

SHN “Book of Mormon” Ticket Lottery a Huge Success – The Only Way to Get a Seat Now – Here’s the Video

Wednesday, November 28th, 2012

Here are the rules of the game.

Here is what the lottery looks like:

I’d say that you’d have had a 10% chance of winning on Preview Night.

Realize that the scalpers and scam artists are going crazy right about now, so paying $29 for a seat what’s worth north of $290 IRL might strike you as a good deal.

Get lucky!

OMG, You Have No Idea How Hard It Is to Get Book of Mormon Tickets – Your Last Best Chance? Daily Ticket Lottery

Monday, November 19th, 2012

This is it.

This is the biggest Broadway roadshow to hit town since forever.

Book of Mormon will play at our Curran Theatre from November 27th to December 30th 2012 and then it will be gone.

There is no way that the run of this smash musical comedy will be extended as the BoM crew will start up in Portland the day after New Year’s.

So here’s what you need to know:

1. This thing is going to be huge – everybody’s going to be talking about it. You know, because it’s “the best musical of this century” per the New York Times ‘n stuff.

2. You want to go to this show whether you know it or not, even if you’re not into Broadway. Yes, Book of Mormon is profane, but it’s also “an atheist’s love letter to religion.”

3. Tickets are beyond sold out. So the scalpers and the scam artists are going to have a field day.

Check it, from the craigslist:

So that’s hundreds of dollars per seat for tickets what originally cost way less than $100.

So here’s what you do, you show up at the box office on Geary two hours early and enter the lottery.

At $29 a ticket for the winners, this is a steal.

If you don’t want to go through this kind of hassle  day after day, then don’t do it because you are not a true fan,  (The  SHN / BoM people are making you jump through hoops for a reason, don’t you know.)

Now I’ll tell you, when they did this for Rent, back in the day, they lotteried away the two front rows for $19 a piece.

Good times.

Of course the angle was sort of ridiculous and you would see things you weren’t meant to see, but this was quite nice for students of the theatre.

(I don’t know which seats lottery winners will get – they might not get to sit right up front.)

So, have at it.

You Can’t Win If Don’t Play.

Our Schools Win Too.*

PRE-SHOW LOTTERY ANNOUNCED! THE BOOK OF MORMON Lottery Ticket Policy:

THE BOOK OF MORMON will conduct a pre-show lottery at the box office, making a limited number of tickets available at $29 apiece; cash only. This lottery will be held prior to every performance.

Entries will be accepted at the SHN Curran Theatre box office beginning two hours prior to each performance; each person will print their name and the number of tickets (1 or 2) they wish to purchase on a card that is provided. One and a half hours before curtain, names will be drawn at random for a limited number of tickets priced at $29 each.

Only one entry is allowed per person. Cards are checked for duplication prior to drawing. Winners must be present at the time of the drawing and show valid ID to purchase tickets. Limit one entry per person and two tickets per winner. Tickets are subject to availability.

Nine 2011 Tony Awards® say it’s the Best Musical of the Year. Vogue says, “It’s the funniest musical of all time.” And The New York Times says, “It’s the best musical of this century.” It’s THE BOOK OF MORMON, the Broadway phenomenon from South Park creators Trey Parker and Matt Stone and Avenue Q co-creator Robert Lopez. The Daily Show’s Jon Stewart calls it “A crowning achievement. So good, it makes me angry.” Contains explicit language.

For more information please visit www.bookofmormonthemusical.com.

If you come across any website other than shnsf.com claiming to sell THE BOOK OF MORMON tickets for the San Francisco engagement, buyer beware! SHN has no way of validating, or replacing tickets that have been purchased through any website other than shnsf.com. We cannot seat or refund you for an invalidated ticket.

If you have any questions, please call 1-888-746-1799 before purchasing.

*Oh, that’s just a saying – our schools won’t actually win.

Holy Toledo! Official San Francisco Contractor AutoReturn Advertises Bible Verses While Towing Cars in the 415?

Friday, November 9th, 2012

WTF is this? Is this a tow truck towing cars in the Financial under authority of the contract AutoReturn has with SFGov?

I think so!

And yet, in addition to charging you $500 for towing away your ride for being just 13 minutes late, AutoReturn wants to be involved with giving you a lecture from the King James.

Check it: 

Click to expand

I cry foul.

For the record, PSALM 23:

The Lord is my Shepherd; I shall not want.
He maketh me to lie down in green pastures:
He leadeth me beside the still waters.
He restoreth my soul:
He leadeth me in the paths of righteousness for His name’ sake.

Yea, though I walk through the valley of the shadow of death,
I will fear no evil: For thou art with me;
Thy rod and thy staff, they comfort me.
Thou preparest a table before me in the presence of mine enemies;
Thou annointest my head with oil; My cup runneth over.

Surely goodness and mercy shall follow me all the days of my life,
and I will dwell in the House of the Lord forever.

And then I’ll tow your car.

Sometimes, I just don’t know…

“The colonel’s hostility softened gradually as he applied himself to details. “Now, I want you to give a lot of thought to the kind of prayers we’re going to say. I don’t want anything heavy or sad. I’d like you to keep it light and snappy, something that will send the boys out feeling pretty good. Do you know what I mean? I don’t want any of this Kingdom of God or Valley of Death stuff. That’s all too negative. What are you making such a sour face for?”

“I’m sorry, sir,” the chaplain stammered. “I happened to be thinking of the Twenty-third Psalm just as you said that.”

“How does that one go?”

“That’s the one you were just referring to, sir. ‘The Lord is my shepherd; I—‘”

“That’s the one I was just referring to. It’s out. What else have you got?”

“‘Save me, O God; for the waters are come in unto—‘”

“No waters,” the colonel decided, blowing ruggedly into his cigarette holder after flipping the butt down into his combed-brass ash tray. “Why don’t we try something musical? How about the harps on the willows?”

“That has the rivers of Babylon in it, sir,” the chaplain replied. “‘…there we sat down, yea, we wept, when we remembered Zion.'”

“Zion? Let’s forget about that one right now. I’d like to know how that one ever got in there. Haven’t you got anything humorous that stays away from waters and valleys and God? I’d like to keep away from the subject of religion altogether if we can.”

The chaplain was apologetic. “I’m sorry, sir, but just about all the prayers I know are rather somber in tone and make at least some passing reference to God.”

“Then let’s get some new ones. The men are already doing enough bitching about the missions I send them on without our rubbing it in with any sermons about God or death or Paradise. Why can’t we take a more positive approach? Why can’t we all pray for something good, like a tighter bomb pattern, for example? Couldn’t we pray for a tighter bomb pattern?”

“Well, yes, sir, I suppose so,” the chaplain answered hesitantly. “You wouldn’t even need me if that’s all you wanted to do. You could do that yourself.”

“I know I could,” the colonel responded tartly. “But what do you think you’re here for? I could shop for my own food, too, but that’s Milo’s job, and that’s why he’s doing it for every group in the area. Your job is to lead us in prayer, and from now on you’re going to lead us in a prayer for a tighter bomb pattern before every mission. Is that clear? I think a tighter bomb pattern is something really worth praying for. It will be a feather in all our caps with General Peckem. General Peckem feels it makes a much nicer aerial photograph when the bombs explode close together.”