Posts Tagged ‘security’

Semi-Automatic For The People: The Armed Guards at the End of Haight Street – Whole Foods + McDonalds

Monday, July 6th, 2015

Sometimes, when you have a sidearm, all you need to do is grab your belt buckle and lean against somethin’.

The Man With No Name, at the West End of the Haight-Ashbury:

7J7C0152 copy

At the current time, there are handguns all over the intersection of Haight and Stanyan. Whole Foods has always had a large security crew here (some armed, some not, one supposes) and starting the past couple months or so, the McDonalds across the street now once again has an armed guard.

Do you think that’s groovy, Man?

Anyway, this is how things stand during the Summer of 2015

Prediction: The First Gold Apple Watch Theft/Robbery in San Francisco Will Occur in June 2015

Tuesday, February 24th, 2015

Do you love gold?

Lots of criminals do.

And pretty soon, they’ll realize that the value of the gold in some new watches from Apple is very very high.

Let’s see what the SFPD has to say:

“As with any new technology, of course there is a concern that thieves will prey on victims with the new technology,” San Francisco Police Department public information officer, Albie Esparza said. “Criminals are opportunistic. If there is a demand, there will be supply. It’s simple business economics.”

So, I don’t care what security features your multi-thousand dollar gold iWatch has, there’s nothing stopping somebody from taking your shiny and then melting it down to sell the gold for $1000 an ounce.

We’ll see…

Now here’s a guy at the Original Aple Store at 1 Stockton in Union Square trying and failing to shoplift some $350(!) Beats headphones:

Apple realizes that its new watches will need to be protected just as at any other Union Square jewelry / bling bling store.

But once its on your wrist, security will be YOUR problem.

Choose wisely.

Can the Managers of the New 100 Van Ness Apartment Building Get Away with Making “Security Deposits” Non-Refundable? We’ll See

Monday, February 2nd, 2015

Click on “Lease Now” to see this:

“*To reserve your new home, please click the “Get Approved” button above to complete our rental application and start the screening process. You will be required to submit a payment of $35.00 for the non-refundable Application Fee and the Security Deposit of $500-$1000 for the apartment is due within 72 hours by drop off or overnight mail. After three days from the date of application, the Security Deposit is non-refundable.”

Well, first off, “home.” Like, it’s not even a condo, man. How about “apartment” instead?

And second off, I ain’t never paid no nonrefundable application fee. What you do is ask how much the  credit / eviction check costs them and then offer to pay that. If that’s a no-go, then perhaps you shouldn’t move in? (I realize that building employees have to deal with flaky people all the time, but I’m not the flaky people category, I don’t think.*)

What really grinds my gears is the idea of any building manager talking about any kind of “non-refundable” deposit. Such a deposit does not exist under California law.

Check it:

(m) “No lease or rental agreement may contain a provision characterizing any security as “nonrefundable.”

You want to quibble? Fine, quibble, but this non-refundable status is agin the law, agin the law I tells you!

Most people in Cali can market apartments without prima facie violations of Cali law. So why can’t you, 100 Van Ness? Why can’t you?

Just asking.

Oh what’s that, what’s $35 to somebody who thinks moving into the Outer Twitterloin at $4000 for a one-bedroom is a good idea? All right, well, maybe it’s not a good idea to move into this building. Realize that most of the non-BMR people are probably not going to renew after their first year (just like at the abysmal “luxury” Fillmore Center apartments near Japantown, where you can pay thousands and thousands per month in rent, and for what). So, why are so many people going to move out of 100 VN after just a year? Think on that. Part of the reason might have to do with dealing with the 20-somethings in “building management.” Are they going to come in and say, uh oh, you walked on our cheap, brand-new hardwood flooring in high heels so here’s a bill for $7,000 for reflooring? Maybe. (Stuff like that happens just around the corner of 100VN all the time.) And there’s the nabe, which might wear you down over the months. OTOH, maybe this building is a dream come true for you, right next to Van Ness Station and not too far from the Civic Center BART Station. Fine, be my guest. Enjoy. But the same 20-something chicas who don’t understand why it’s not kosher to expropriate four-figure “Security Deposits” in the Great State of California just might not be aware of all the other laws what protect you.

Oh, what’s that, it’s OK to retain a “holding deposit?” Well, we aren’t at that point yet, because you all labeled it a “Security Deposit.” I’m now satisfied that you all don’t know what you’re doing. Welcome to Cali, 100VN Management. It’s going to be a bumpy ride…


*Like the last time I bought a car, I didn’t even test drive it. No salesperson neither – the “big guy” had to assign a salesperson to me at the end of the sales process in order to “get the transaction to go through.” This sales process took about seven minutes. Later on, the salesperson had to “orient” me. I asked for the 30-second version of his 20-minute spiel. It was basically this: “Never press this button.” And I’ll tell you, that was good advice. I had already figured the downsides of pressing the button and if I hadn’t, then I would have figured things out fast, like during the times that I pressed that button by mistake. In any event, what he meant was, never press this button unless you know what it does and the conditions are right for it.  The point is that I’m not a flake so I never pay no nonrefundable application fee and you shouldn’t either. Sometimes, like back during Dot Com 1 in the late ’90’s, landlords would harvest thousands of dollars in application fees for just one unit over one weekend. Did the LLs actually run the checks potential tenants paid for? Nope. That’s what made it a scam. A nice, four-figure, income tax-free scam. These days, they charge you $35 to run a check that costs them even less than before, like a few bucks max. Oh well.  

Surprise! San Francisco’s $4.5 Billion Bid for the 2024 Olympics Didn’t Include Security – Cost? “Multiple Billions” More

Wednesday, January 14th, 2015

Well, here’s the news from Boston, the recent “winner” of the 2024 Olympics U.S. bid beauty contest:

“The Games are larger and the world is a different place than 2002 [Salt Lake City Olympics]. I imagine the security costs are going to be in the multiple billions of dollars.”

Our bid came in at exactly the same dollar amount as Boston’s. Why was that? Because that’s the guidance that SF received from the USOC.

The question is whether that was an honest number. The answer is that it was not.

I’m thinking that the costs of Boston’s possible hosting could be in the $15-$20 billion territory  – that certainly seems realistic.

That was the size of the bullet we just dodged…

Of course it could be the case that Boston will simply spend $50-$100 million simply preparing a losing bid at the corrupt IOC. That looks to be the best case scenario for us at this point.

And uh oh, the URLs and are already registered, so let’s include the cost of that as the first expense of our next futile bid…

Nothing Escapes the Gaze of this University of California Police Force Security Officer

Thursday, January 1st, 2015

Absolutely nothing.

This one’s from the vault, from 2009. But it remains an arresting sight.

(Would you think this woman is a police officer or not? Look closely. I guessed the wrong way.)

As seen in Mission Bay. Click to expand:

IMG_6571 copy

Remember the 1980’s?

retro_mix_40_2007-pet-shop-boys-suburbia copy

I do.

High-Heeled Shoplifter Frogmarched by Three Paramilitary-Looking Dudes Through Area Whole Foods

Monday, October 20th, 2014

Past the ‘nanas, and the organic apples, and the avocados, five for five dollars:

P1160623 copy

And then through the EMPLOYEE’S ONLY door next to the deli counter and then, no doubt, into a little room.

This small store appears to be more heavily-patrolled than the Korean DMZ…

*I’m thinking a solemn promise to never again darken their door would carry some weight with the Whole Foods Police Squad, but that’s just a guess.

Learn to love me
Assemble the ways
Now, today, tomorrow and always
My only weakness is a listed crime
My only weakness is… well, never mind, never mind

Oh, shoplifters of the world
Unite and take over
Shoplifters of the world
Hand it over
Hand it over
Hand it over

Learn to love me
And assemble the ways
Now, today, tomorrow, and always
My only weakness is a listed crime**
But last night the plans of a future war
Was all I saw on Channel Four

Shoplifters of the world
Unite and take over

**”I saw this and it’s clever and cute, but I’m appalled by the ignorantly misunderstood lyrics. “My only weakness is a list of crimes” doesn’t even make sense. “My only weakness is a listed crime” puts the rest of the song in context, and provides a little history lesson about sexuality in England.”

Uh Oh: Many Many Outside Lands 2014 Tickets from Scalpers are Turning Out to be Fake – Here’s What They Look Like

Friday, August 8th, 2014

Like all these tickets are fake, per the SFPD:

Click to expand

So if you try to use your fake ticket at the box office it won’t work, sorry.

Here’s a close-up from from Cornell Banard:

How can you tell a fake from a real ticket? I don’t think you can.

Many many fakes are out there:

@KimKardashian I got sold a fake ticket to outside lands fest to see Kanye!! Can you help me????

What White People Don’t Like:

Waiting around by boxoffice watching all manner of teary-eyed white 20-somethings stomp away screaming on phones abt fake tix

What can be done?

Don’t buy tickets from scalpers. Judging by the amount of tears at the entry gate, they are almost all fake. Duh.

So, choose wisely.

(You can always try to go over or under The Wire, but that kind of thing probably won’t work.)

Heh: Incompetent SFMTA MUNI DPT Parking Control Officers are Repeatedly Citing Security Guard Cars at Our Chinese Consulate

Tuesday, July 22nd, 2014

So the guards at this troubled location have resorted to posting long messages in car windows.

“Attn DPT: Please do not ticket this vehicle…”

Click to expand

The current SFMTA position is that only security guards and cops can legally park at this location. This is a result, one supposes, of that Chinese citizen firebombing the front door of the place on Laguna not too long ago…

San Francisco’s Only Real “Gated Community” is Presidio Terrace – The Gates are Always Open But There’s a Guard to Keep You Out

Friday, July 11th, 2014


But dividing the cost of a security guard among 20-something families is prolly pretty expensive, so at other times there’s only an empty SUV posted as sentry.

Click to expand

And best of all, the place is Caucasians-only, sort of:

In a small brochure, Object Lessons in Homebuilding, developers Baldwin and Howell promoted racial covenants as part of a set of deed covenants attached to a model planned gated suburb, Presidio Terrace. Deed covenants were used to ensure protection from the nuisances of uncontrolled growth following the 1906 earthquake and to create a community of “Caucasians” only in Presidio Terrace. Among such progressive urban design amenities as underground utilities, asphalt roads for automobiles, and private picturesque streets, racial covenants guaranteed racial homogeneity as an integral part of desirable suburban housing. Baldwin and Howell marketed Presidio Terrace lots by focusing comparatively on the settlement of Japanese immigrants in the Western Addition district of San Francisco as undesirable and blighted by racial pathologies.”

“Warbiking San Francisco?” – RSA Convention Goer Rides a Bike in SF to Show Insecure WiFi Networks

Thursday, February 27th, 2014

What does this teaser video mean to you?

“James Lyne “war-bikes” the city of San Francisco with special WiFi equipment to find out just how much information its citizens are giving away. Join us at RSA Conference booth #2701 to hear a live talk from James Lyne and Chester Wisniewski on their findings.”