The San Francisco Citizen

Full-service public relations and public affairs consultancy Hill and Knowltonannounced today that former vice president Al Gore, upon his death, will be encased in carbonite and then buried. This type of carbon capture and sequestration (CCS) was only made possible this year through the use of nanotechnology.

Until recently this was our understanding of carbonite, made famous in Star Wars V - The Empire Strikes Back:

“By the rules of chemical nomenclature, the formula for a “carbonite anion” would be CO22-, which is thought to be an impossible formation (methanoate being preferentially formed instead).”

Impossible no longer.

Artist’s conception of the former vice president encased in the densest form of carbon known to man:

Just one treatment of this double carbon material will take the equivalent of 1200 metric tonnes of carbon dioxide out of the atmosphere. The only downside will be the expense of a slightly oversized coffin. The upside is that Al Gore, Jr. will be the most severely carbon negative person in recorded history.

A relieved Hill & Knowlton spokesperson confided to one reporter that this announcement will lay to rest the controversy over the greenhouse emissions of Al Gore’s house, for some reason an issue of almost daily concern to the D.C.-based House of Flack.

If only Han Solo were alive to see this day…

Forget about that other District 3 poll, the one that had to be pulled due to cheating by Internet-savvy individuals. Here’s the latest from the San Francisco Bay Guardian. Their survey currently shows Carole Migden leading with 54%, Mark Leno at 43% and Joe Nation trailing with 3%.

Click to enlarge: 

Get in on the fun right now and cast your vote. You can’t win if you don’t play!

The Marin Independent Journal is trying to do the best it can in this Internet Age. That means putting content online and maybe allowing for a reader poll on some topic of the day.

Last week, IJ editor/writer Brad Breithaupt wrote a piece about the sprawling 3rd Senate District involving “incumbent Senator Carole Migden and her two challengers, Assemblyman Mark Leno and former [A]ssemblyman Joe Nation.”

Readers were allowed to cast their vote for whomever they favored until someone at the IJ cancelled it. Why? Check it:

“Due to suspected ballot-box stuffing, results of the poll will not appear. You dirty rascals!”

Thusly:

Appears is if more than one person repeatedly voted for a particular candidate and, so much so, the results got all screwy. Apparently, “cookies” were involved.

Now, who would do such a thing? (If only Marin County had its own Matier and Ross to get to the bottom of this!)

Can’t we all get along?   

Oh my. Hundreds of volunteers came through the huge San Francisco Headquarters of Senator Carole Migden this past weekend. On hand to cheer her on were former Senate President John Burton and future Senate Pesident Darrell Steinberg.

A couple of termed-out Assemblymen are ganging up on her to turn her out of office. Read on: 

It’s a wide-open race involving the incumbent senator, Carole Migden, and her two challengers, Assemblyman Mark Leno and former North Bay Assemblyman Joe Nation. Each has a decent shot at winning the primary that is tantamount to victory in the overwhelming Democratic Third Senate District.

As much as this race is about anything, it’s about a struggle between the Democratic members of the (ironically-named) upper and lower houses of the Legislature in Sacramento. Senate leadership appears to be making a stand on behalf of Carole.

She’s got seven figures to burn through and lots of enthusiastic volunteers, so things should get interesting pretty soon. The Battle for Minis Tirith will look like a cakewalk compared to this election season.   

This shot shows about half of the largest room at HQ - the Great Hall of Ninth Street.

The original Spanish of the phrase… 

…Barack Obama is borrowing:

Round One of the Defense of Carole Migden has begun.

Ding Ding!