Posts Tagged ‘sf.citi’

Is “Techies Who Vote” a Real Website? Like, Is This Real Life? – Here’s Its Hilarious Call To Action for Election Day

Tuesday, November 4th, 2014

WELL, HERE IT IS.

‘Why the 2014 Election Matters for SF Tech Workers – Elections matter. Tuesday’s election is extremely significant and symbolic for the tech community.”

WELL, MAKE UP YOUR MIND, DUDE – WILL IT BE SYMBOLIC OR WILL IT BE SIGNIFICANT? IN FACT, IT WON’T BE “EXTREMELY” ANYTHING.

Given all that’s been thrown at the tech community over the past year, Tuesday November 4 represents the one solitary day where the tech community can come together, exercise its electoral muscle and lets its growing voice be heard.

WHAT? SO THEN WHAT’S THIS, BROCEPHUS? IT’S “Leveraging the collective power of the tech sector as a force for civic action in San Francisco.” HAVE YOU HEARD OF THAT OUTFIT? MAYOR ED LEE SURE HAS. IN FACT, HE’S SO SMITTEN WITH MONEY FROM CON RONWAY AND OTHERS THAT ED LEE NOW IS FACING A CHALLENGE FROM A MEMBER OF HIS OWN POLITICAL FACTION IN HIS OWN POLITICAL PARTY. AREN’T YOU AWARE OF ANY OF THIS? ALSO, BRO, MOST TECHIES LIVING IN SF DON’T ACTUALLY VOTE BY GOING TO THE POLLS ON A TUESDAY, SO IT’S HARDLY “ONE SOLITARY DAY” AT ALL…

So what’s at stake? In our recent 2014 voter’s guide…

SO WHO’S “OUR?” YOU MEAN “MY,” RIGHT? YOU’RE LIKE ONE DUDE, RIGHT BRO? 

…Techies Who Vote…

TECHIES?” ARE YOU FUCKING SERIOUS? ISN’T THAT A PEJORATIVE TERM? IS THIS YOUR ATTEMPT AT REAPPROPRIATION? WHY ON EARTH WOULD YOU CALL YOURSELF A “TECHIE?” IS THIS A PARODY WEBSITE?

David Campos voted against the tax breaks for tech companies setting up shop in the mid-market area…

GOOD. ‘CAUSE THAT’S CORPORATE WELFARE RIGHT? AND THE GENESIS OF THAT CORPORATE WELFARE COMES FROM A TIME BEFORE YOUR ARRIVAL IN THE 415, POSSIBLY – HERE YOU GO, DUDE, ENJOY.

“An independent report released by the SF City Controller this past week revealed…”

WELL, NUMBER ONE, THE REPORT COMES FROM THE VERY GOVERNMENT WHAT’S ALREADY BEEN CORRUPTED BY “TECHIES.” AND NUMBER TWO, ‘AS FOR THE TAX BREAK’S OVERALL IMPACT ON THE CITY’S ECONOMY, THE REPORT SAYS IT WAS PROBABLY ‘QUITE LIMITED.‘” SO WHERE’S YOUR MESSIAH NOW, DUDE?

…while revitalizing a depressed neighborhood in the mid-market area…

DO YOU THINK MID MARKET HAS BEEN REVITALIZED? WHAT ARE YOU SMOKING?

[BRO'S DAVID CHIU HAGIOGRAPHY OMITTED]

Proposition A is a transportation and Road Improvement (Bond) that provides $500 million to fund transportation projects and capital improvements for MUNI transit and for upgrading city streets.

NOPE. WHAT IT IS IS FREE MONEY FOR SFGOV – THERE’S NO OBLIGATION FOR ANY BODY TO SPEND ANY MONEY ON ANY PARTICULAR THING. WELCOME TO SF, BRO.

…our future as a world-class city.

ARE YOU A REAL PERSON DUDE? WHAT YOUNG PERSON TALKS LIKE THIS?

Proposition B is a population-Based Adjustment to General Fund Appropriation to Transportation Fund (Charter Amendment) that increases the voter-approved funding set aside for MUNI to reflect past ten years of population growth…

UH, THE SFMTA’S BUDGET HAS EASILY OUTPACED THE PAST TEN YEARS OF POPULATION GROWTH, RIGHT? DON’T YOU KNOW THAT?

OH, AND DUDE, YOU HAVE NO ENDORSEMENT FOR YOUR SEVEN READERS ON PROP E, THE SODA TAX? OH, BECAUSE IT DOESN’T HAVE “A DIRECT EFFECT ON TECH WORKERS?” WHAT? OF COURSE IT’LL HAVE AN EFFECT ON “TECHIES.” OBVS. AND YET YOU DO HAVE AN ENDORSEMENT, FOR YOUR SEVEN READERS, ON THE MINIMUM WAGE INCREASE? DO YOU THINK IT HAS A “DIRECT EFFECT ON TECH WORKERS?” SO DO “TECHIES” IN SF MAKE MINIMUM WAGE – ANY LAST ONE OF THEM?

ALL RIGHT, BROCEPHUS, IT’S BEEN REAL…

Snoop Dog + Joe Montana + Willie Brown + MC Hammer + Ronnie Lott + Diana Nyad + Airbnb = “No Guns Allowed” Campaign

Thursday, May 29th, 2014

Snoop Youth Football League? News to me.

Plus, an “auction of Snoop Dogg’s paintings?”

Tonight’s soiree should be quite an event.

All the deets:

“MEDIA ADVISORY: SNOOP DOGG, JOE MONTANA, RON CONWAY, DR. ROBERT “BIKO” BAKER & MORE COME TOGETHER TO DISCUSS GUN VIOLENCE

Leaders from Tech, Music, Sports, and Politics Support “No Guns Allowed”

Program at SF Press Conference on May 29

Special Guests Include Mayor Willie Brown, MC Hammer, Hall-of-Famer Ronnie Lott, Swimmer Diana Nyad and more 

San Francisco, CA - May 28, 2014 - Entertainment icon Snoop Dogg, NFL Hall-of-Famer Joe Montana, sf.citi founder Ron Conway and Executive Director, League of Young Voters Education Fund, Dr. Robert “Biko” Baker, will be the featured hosts at a May 29th benefit to raise money and awareness of the “No Guns Allowed” campaign. Other special guests to attend include former San Francisco Mayor Willie Brown, recording artist MC Hammer, Hall-of-Famer Ronnie Lott, swimmer Diana Nyad, and more.

The evening will be kicked off by a press conference discussing gun violence solutions, followed by a live auction of Snoop Dogg’s paintings and other exclusive items to benefit both the “No Guns Allowed” initiative and the Snoop Youth Football League.”

Ever more deets, after the jump

(more…)

Teachable Moments for San Francisco Chronicle Writer CW Nevius: A Lesson in Journalism from Matt Smith

Tuesday, July 3rd, 2012

You see, Nevius? Here’s the deal. You wrote this:

SF police get new crime fighting tools: computers

But you should have written this:

Police department has no budget for smartphones for touted mobile app – Group donating money for app is also pushing for change in payroll tax

Do you see the difference, Chuck?

It’s the difference between being just another City Hall Megaphone and being, you know, an actual journalist.

Chuck on a good hair day:

Class dismissed.

Hello, San Francisco Chronicle? Um, Our City Doesn’t Actually Have a Central Dispatch System for Taxicabs, Does It?

Thursday, February 23rd, 2012

Uh, did San Francisco Chronicle writer Jimmy Temple just move into town?

Let’s investigate:

“…on Friday and Saturday the city, California College of the Arts and Mix & Stir Studio are sponsoring an “unhackathon” to get designers, software engineers and others to tackle the clearly broken central dispatch system for San Francisco’s taxi system.

But Jimmy, we don’t actually have “a central dispatch system* for San Francisco’s taxi system.”*

Therefore it’s not “broken.”

Therefore it’s not “clearly” broken.

Hey, now speaking of broken, why don’t all these college boys and girls take on San Francisco’s pension “system?” Shouldn’t it be reformed ‘n stuff? Like for real this time?

And hey, speaking of broken, why don’t all these college boys and girls take on the “system” what pays for pork-barrelly Bridges to Nowhere and Roads to Bridges to Nowhere and Central Subways?

Oh well, maybe next year.**

Leave us close with a typical SF cabbie:

Click to expand

Well, maybe not typical, but she was a fully-licensed hack back in the day at least, back when she hijacked a meeting on the steps of City Hall. (Her “K” sticker shows her support for Prop K, but shhh, don’t tell the unhacksters about Prop K, oh no.)

The point is, Jimmy, is that you’re covering a political issue, one having to do with the Twitterloin and the sf.citi PAC and whatnot, as if it weren’t a political issue.

As if you don’t have a clue…

*System!

**Or never, how about never?