Posts Tagged ‘sfgov’

“Quake Shaming,” Frisco-Style: Millionaire Property Owners Won’t Like Seeing These Large EARTHQUAKE WARNING Postings

Thursday, October 23rd, 2014

I’d heard of these newish warnings, but hadn’t actually seen them.

Les mise-en-scene

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Complete with exclamation points:

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Is this what they call an “unfunded mandate?”

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Ah tink so!

Nike is Going to Tow Your Car This Saturday Night If You’ve Parked on Certain Blocks of Gough, GG, Webster, Fulton, Scott, Fell…

Friday, October 17th, 2014

I’ve already made this post, but I’ve just come across the route map for 2014′s Nike Women’s Half Marathon, and if this tiny blog can prevent just one unnecessary tow-job this weekend, well that’s blogesse oblige, mon frere.

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If I were Nike, of Beaverton, Oregon, I’d refund the $500-$1000 tow fees that a bunch of San Franciscans are going to be getting come Sunday morning, on a case-by-case basis.

If I were Nike…

All the deets on street closures:

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The Towman Cometh: That AutoReturn Co. Will Make a Ton of Money Tomorrow Night on Fell – Nike Women’s Half-Marathon

Friday, October 17th, 2014

Well, this is new, the routing of this year’s Nike Women’s Half Marathon San Francisco.

Nike, Inc is going to blow through Fell Street like an autumnal version of the Bay to Breakers historic street party and fun run.

Take a look – here are the new signs DPW just put out, like a string of pearls through the Panhandle:

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Note the timing of the mass towings has recently been altered. Can you see the 5 AM hiding under the white sticker what says 11 PM? I’m sure there’s a story behind that.

Anywho, this pop-up event is unexpected so it’s going to catch a lot of people by surprise.

What’s that, “outreach?” Oh yeah, Nike sent out a ton of letters to residents, customized for each mile of the route. I myself got one, but then forgot about it until I saw all these signs.

Nevertheless, even with the letters, this pop-up event is unexpected so it’s going to catch a lot of people by surprise. 

You’ll see.

Trendy Lingo Update: “CRO” – SF Now Has a “Chief Resilience Officer?” – Come Meet SFGov’s Overpaid Patrick Otellini

Wednesday, October 8th, 2014

When I first heard the neologism Chief Resilience Officer, I figured things out pretty quickly – I thought about earthquakes in the 415, fine.

And then I thought, “What’s the angle? How does this concept put money into the pockets of the members of San Francisco Mayor Willie Brown’s political faction / machine?”

And I couldn’t think of an angle, so I thought maybe this could be a rare case of SFGov just trying to do its job, you know, sans politique.

And then I looked into it and came away mostly disappointed. I’ll tell you why below.

But you reporters out there should get on this new CRO business – it’s terra incognita, locally. [UPDATE: Whoops, I missed this one.]

So here it is:

Meet San Francisco’s Patrick Otellini, the world’s first Chief Resilience Officer.

And here’s his headshot:

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And here’s the rah rah SFGov, born-and-raised blather, redolent of Supervisor Mark Farrell:

“I am unapologetically pro-San Francisco. Four generations of my family currently live here and I love this city. San Francisco’s work regarding resilience has been substantial. This work has been developed by the community just as much as it has been by City Hall.”

Is Dude running for office? It sure seems that way. But IRL, SF is the most corrupt big American city west of Chicago, so how does that square, cadre? STRIKE ONE. Moving on…

And oh no, SPUR! Is Dude a member of SPUR, that infamous outfit responsible for Urban Renewing the Fillmore, you know, because it was the trendy thing to do at that time? Take a look:

“San Francisco Planning and Urban Research (SPUR) released a report called ‘Resilient Cities’ a few years ago, which has become the roadmap for resiliency planning in San Francisco.”

Turns out that Dude is a card-carrying Member of SPUR. STRIKE TWO.

And what does this Brownie-youre-doing-a-heck-of-a-job-type job pay? Like how many hundreds of thousands of dollars per year? The answer is two:

“Total pay & benefits: $183,397.91.”

More or less. I mean, that was Dude’s pay package last year when he was only Director of Earthquake Safety, so you gotta figure he’s gotten a big bump to go along with the new CRO title, right? What’s that, not really? He’s still just another SFGov MANAGER IV but now with a shiny new title? OK fine, it’s old wine in a new bottle. Let’s call that BALL ONE.

But what’s this, IRL what you are actually is a long-time, politically-connected “building permit consultant and expediter?” Mmmm… STRIKE THREE!

Speaking of which:

OTELLINI PAUL MR., INTEL CORP., CEO, SAN FRANCISCO, CA 94123 - $51,800.00
OTELLINI PAUL MR., INTEL CORP., PRESIDENT, SAN FRANCISCO, CA 94123 - $2,000.00
OTELLINI PAUL, INTEL, CEO, SAN FRANCISCO, CA 94123 - $1,000.00
OTELLINI PAUL, INTEL, CEO, SANTA CLARA, CA 95054 - $40,000.00
OTELLINI PAUL, NONE, RETIRED, SAN FRANCISCO, CA 94123 - $50,000.00
OTELLINI SANDY, N/A, RETIRED – ATTORNEY, SAN FRANCISCO, CA 94123 - $25,900.00

Which then yields this. [Welcome to Scion Country Safari, Africa USA.]

So, Brownie, bring on the earthquake-related ruckus, bring on the blather, the Newspeak, fine. Maybe you’ll be appointed Supervisor, and then maybe Mayor, someday.

But be sure to count your lucky stars, to say your prayers every night to Thank Goodness you live in a town where Scion/Expediter is a career path…

Mass Double Parking in the Western Addition: Cadillac, Mercedes, Mercedes, Lexus, Mercedes…

Friday, September 19th, 2014

On It Goes:

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Our Long Parochial Nightmare is Over: The Vandalized Slides at Panhandle Playground 94117 have been Replaced by RPD

Monday, September 8th, 2014

Well the slides at the Panhandle Playground have been replaced after three months of absence.

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1. Perhaps the RPD spokesmodel meant that the entire slide complex was being repaired, as opposed to the $2000 plastic slide itself. I don’t think it would have made sense to repair the slide itself, due to liability issues for starters. This is a brand-new slide, one that’s similar enough to the original.

2. So some wealthy, non-profit people came by with clipboards to say that this particular playground currently earns a “D” grade? Well, OK fine, but if you talk to the people who actually use the place, they, more or less, give it an “A” grade, you know, except for the slide that wasn’t there all summer long. Mmmmm… What’s up with that?

3. Supervisor London Breed’s office was unresponsive to the email contact sent by a group of concerned parents, apparently. So she gets an “F,” or an Incomplete perhaps. (I’ve worked at two similar offices, with about ten or one hundred times as many constituents, and if the elected in charge found out about something like this then there’d be a 20-minute yell-fest and/or a passive aggressive note sent to a (lower-case “s”) supervisor to “fix this.”) So, obvs, a “communication issue” occurred, I just don’t know how common this is with her office.

4. RPD has a policy to not repair anything in a playground if it’s due to be revamped in the next two years? That’s my understanding. Does that mean that this playground won’t get revamped anytime soon? That’s my understanding. Why’s that? Read on, Gentle Reader.

5. What RPD really wants is area parents to get together to raise something on the order of [bites right pinkie finger] one million dollars, you know, the way they do things in rich areas of SF, like Sea Cliff (ala the new Mountain Lake) and Presidio Heights. Only then will RPD put your playground at the top of the fix-it list? OK fine. The funny thing is that most of the money that gets used to refurbish existing playgrounds is paid for by the non-rich, from some bond. But all this doesn’t matter for the playground at hand, because:

6. The slide vandalized in May 2014 has been replaced in September 2014 and the users are now satisfied. No $5,000,000 modernization from the RPD is needed, frankly. [Oh what's that, RPD - this old-school playground costs you a lot of coin to maintain? Well, then why don't you fix it up, RPD, you know, using the money we give you?]

And that’s the end of this story.

A380 Superjumbo Update: Where’s Your Messiah Now, SFO? Things Just Aren’t Working Out with the Big Airbus

Thursday, September 4th, 2014

Even back six years ago, even back in aught-eight, this kind of press release from SFO seemed more optimistic than average.

Anyway, we spent a lot of money getting ready for the Airbus A380 double-decker and we do get a handful of flights* every week, but things just haven’t worked out.

Oh look, it’s a Lufthansa A380 filled with German tourists going home after their summer vacations in the bay area, high above Daly City: 

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I’ll tell you, the reason why we still use a lot of four-engined Boeing 747-400 jumbos at SFO is because we already have them. They’re there, hundreds of them. But they guzzle a lot of fuel, so, not too long ago, the A380 was considered to be The Future. But it’s a guzzler too. So The Future now belongs to large twin-engine aircraft like the Boeing 777 models (present and future) and the slightly smaller twin-engined Airbus A350 line.

So all that hype coming out of SFGov about the A380 being “green,” well that was a lot of hogwash. The A380 was/is just another jetliner and SFO took steps to accommodate its massive size and that’s fine, but it wasn’t/isn’t/will never be a game changer the way the people at SFO were hoping for (or lying about – I still can’t tell why they were so excited as late as 2008, when the promise of the A380 was already being questioned).

Anyway, here’s the update:

A380 Continues To Pose Challenges For Heathrow – The A380 was tapped to help capacity-strapped airports, but could it end up hurting them?

Arguably, the A380 was specifically designed for Heathrow, which has a runway shortage and a NIMBY neighbour problem. So great, here’s a giant plane that’s really quiet – isn’t that great? Well, read the link above to see how things are working out when the rubber meets the tarmac.

SFO also has a runway shortage and a NIMBY neighbor problem, but our airport is a lot smaller and, as stated, those A380′s aren’t really working out and nobody’s really buying them anymore, so we’re not going to have to deal with Heathrow’s problems. No no, we’ll just muddle through.

But the skeptics have already been proven correct, after just six years.

One wonders what SFO’s next overhyped fad will be…

*More so in the summer, when the French and the Germans really pine to come here, so they can stay “Near Union Square” in a fleabag hotel only to get bitten by bedbugs, only to be told that said fleabag hotel doesn’t have bedbugs so GTH. On behalf of San Francisco, I wish to say, “Sorry, French and German people.”

A Case Study of SFMTA’s Controversial “MUNI-COMMUTER” Shuttle Program: The New Stops at Hayes and Clayton

Monday, August 4th, 2014

Here’s what things looked like on August 1, 2014 at a MUNI bus stop that just debuted as a new “commuter shuttle” stop:

I think MUNI meant to say MUNI/COMMUTER SHUTTLES instead of MUNI-COMMUTER SHUTTLES, but who knows.

Note that the small print advises those with Concerns or Complaints to go to Hell call 311.

Here’s the place, on Hayes at Clayton:

Things were pretty sedate around here before the shuttle program began. (Yes, Hayes is a thoroughfare, as it has the 21 Hayes bus line but that bus doesn’t run as much as the nearby #5 Fulton just to the north or the lines on Haight just to the south.)

Anyway, some of the area NIMBYs are upset, so they started a direct mail campaign and they posted fliers about.

Like here on this rather dirty building, which lost some paint when the fliers came down cause the tape they used was extra strong oh well:

So that’s it – life here is pretty much the same as far as I can tell. I’ve jogged past these two stops, the inbound and the outbound right across the street from each other, four times now, during times when I know that there are hundreds of people milling about the 415 / 628 waiting for dozens of shuttles, and I haven’t seen nothing.

Perhaps the NIMBYs were wrong? Perhaps all good and bad points about life in the 94117 will remain unaffected?

We’ll see.

A Plea from “NoPa Neighbors” to “Protect” a Solitary 21 Hayes Bus Stop from Being Used by Too Many People

Thursday, July 10th, 2014

[UPDATE: Oh, here you go, NIMBYs:

"Carli Paine, an SFMTA transportation manager, said about 80 percent of shuttles using Muni stops take passengers to destinations within San Francisco, while the other 20 percent take passengers to destinations outside the city."

So I don't know what that means for this particular stop - it could be that only one entity wants to use it. So it could be 100% intra-city, who knows. Oh, what's that, NIMBY. You're still upset? You're all offer me solutions, offer me alternatives, and I decline? OK fine. Have it your way. But keep in mind that most of your "neighbors" aren't up in arms over this issue, most of your "neighbors" disagree with you. And in any event, August 1st, 2014 will not be the End Of The World As We Know It. You'll feel fine.]

Here’s a direct mail campaign to “save” the SFMTA MUNI DPT bus stop at Hayes and Clayton.

It comes from somebody who has a lot of energy to post and mail flyers, but this effort is coming waaaaay too late in the process.

Now I’m probably a little too close to this issue myself, but I’ll point out that UCSF employees could be the biggest beneficiaries of having the corner of Hayes and Clayton included as inbound and outbound stops during the trial. And I’ll note that UCSF simply gives money to the SFMTA by, among other things, using the bus stops of the 21 Hayes for public relations advertising. And actually, there are so many UCSF shuttles on Fell and Oak that the unneighborly “neighbors” of NoPA probably don’t even notice them any more.

In any event, it’s a free country so you’re free to mail anybody anything.

And I’ll say that it would be nice if our slow and expensive MUNI system would itself use these bus stops more often. (And the 21 Hayes, in particular, still has too many stops.)

Reader Note: If you can’t read the above, I took another shot and posted it below. One photo used a smaller lens and the other one, well, it has focus issues owing to the bent paper, oh well. And I amazed by how different the yellow-y colors look using auto white balance from two different cams, oh well.

Lisa: I’d like 25 copies on Goldenrod.

Clerk: Right.

Lisa: 25 on Canary.

Clerk: Mmhmm.

Lisa: 25 on Saffron.

Clerk: All right.

Lisa: And 25 on Paella.

Clerk: Ok, 100 yellow.

Well, Here It Is – Here’s Your Newly-Repaved Kezar Drive, July 2014

Tuesday, July 1st, 2014

For the life of me, I can’t tell the difference between the bad, terrible, bumpy old Kezar (seen in the background) and the new, wonderful, freshly-paved Kezar (seen in the foreground), you know, except for the color.

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