Posts Tagged ‘SFMTA’

IT’S COME TO THIS: The Doughbies “Doughbus” Will Deliver Freshly Baked Cookies to You Within 20 Minutes? IS THIS REAL LIFE?

Wednesday, November 25th, 2015

I haven’t checked up on this ad yet, but I gotta say that I don’t think Doughbies is going to make it as a company.

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(And that’s my Haterade, sorry.)

And what if the Doughbies deliverer only had to give you something intangible, say something like a kiss on the cheek? Well, even then, I don’t see how this app could deliver. So like the deliverer would go to Nob Hill and park and then make it to your place in 20 minutes? How is that possible? Oh, the driver would illegally double park? OK well, maybe.

And didn’t pizza delivery places have to walk back promises of DELIVERED IN 30 MINUTES OR IT’S FREE due to getting sued over the concomitant reckless driving? I think so.

Or you’re going to use bike riders? Or scooters? IDK, man.

Oh what’s that, I’m hurting the “feelings” of the Doughbies all-seeing, all-knowing Founder(s)?


Oh what’s that, it’s good to fail, to give it a shot? Well, sure, for you, the Founder, using Other Peoples’ Money and then failing, well that could be a great career move. But this process might not be good for a lot of other people, don’t forget.

Oh yeah

[UPDATE: Oh I see. Delivery is restricted to the Financh and neighboring SoMA. So that’s why you advertise in the fucking Richmond District? OK fine. Yes, they do use bikes. But no, the 20 minutes isn’t really a serious thing. And of course, it’s only curbside delivery. So fine, but you shouldn’t address your pitch to “San Francisco” is all I can say…]

SFMTA MUNI Stares Down Mental Illness in Front of Twitter HQ – One Reason, Just One, of Why VisionZero 2024 is Impossible

Wednesday, November 25th, 2015

Oh here we go, here’s a 21 Hayes operator at 10th and Market. (Hey, you know the slow and inefficient #21, right? It comes to us, at great expense, via our slow and inefficient SFMTA.)

Anywho, here’s the scene, the driver with a green, the ped with a fierce attitude problem – it’s a staring contest:

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But let’s start at the beginning where Just Do It ambles against the red heading inbound on Market:

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And reaches the safety island. All the other peds stop for their red, but Just Do It doesn’t break stride, oh no. Now, here come the bus:

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What’s the ped’s message here? It’s like go ahead and run me down – make my day. Go ahead and just do it is what Just Do It is saying, more or less.

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While driving, biking or walking about town, I blithely assume that all pedestrians will manifest mental illness. Is that so wrong? I think not, obliviously.

OTOH, our SFMTA considers all peds perfect, perfect people – perfect people who make the occasional “mistake” by purposefully walking into traffic.

And DYK that the cause of most ped deaths last year in SF County was the peds themselves? Our SFMTA seems to ignore this reality. (Do you want to get into this, start talking about vehicle code violations and whose fault is what? I can do it. I have done it, AAMOF.) But Reality doesn’t win you any votes at the ballot box, and it doesn’t make Uncle Sucker want to send us some more sweet sweet pork from DC, so that’s why our SFMTA isn’t interested in Reality.

What will be the consequences for the people today spouting VisionZero 2024 when 2024 comes and the promises of VisionZero 2024 don’t? Nothing, absolutely nothing. Oh well.

If SFGov wants to legislate away all transportation deaths in town by 2024 and into the future, forever, it would need to be able to magically cure all mental illness, and even then it would fail. Really, SFGov would need to eliminate transportation altogether.


AFTER BARTY: I Finally Understand Lyft’s new FRIENDS WITH TRANSIT Campaign – But Lyft has NO IDEA How Slow our SFMTA MUNI Can Be

Monday, November 23rd, 2015

Here’s a new one – another Friends With Transit ad:

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Now this ad I get – it’s saying how Lyft can become your “last mile” transportation solution.

Fine, but this ad here, the one I saw first seems to equate our MUNI METRO service as something akin to a fast, reliable transit system. Perhaps it might seem that the 415 has something like that to young people in NYC or whatever or whomever or wherever, but IRL you wouldn’t suffer through an N Judah ride only to take a Lyft taxi a few hundred yards north to (your home / tent / self-dug hobbit hole in) Golden Gate Park.

Now, why would our slow, corrupt SFMTA appreciate these ads? Well, it’s money for partner ClearChannel and the SFMTA, plus it’s saying how Lyft is compatible with transit, as opposed to, you know, Lyft “disrupting” the SFMTA by siphoning money away from it.

So IDK, Frisco has a ton of bus stops all over town, so I think ppl would simply walk the last quarter mile or less it takes to get home. Perhaps this ad campaign makes sense in less urban areas?


Homemade Parallel Parking Assist Lines of Dubious Legality

Friday, November 20th, 2015

Who but a Western Addition millionaire homeowner would have the temerity to start tagging up our streets?

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This BRT Rendering Shows How Our SFMTA Views Us The People – But Is This a Homeless Person or Just an Old Pushing Groceries?

Wednesday, November 18th, 2015

These are most of the people depicted in this Van Ness BRT proposal from the SFMTA:

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At first I thought the right side showed a stolen metal shopping cart being pushed by a street person, but then I thought it might be a stroller, but then I ENHANCED the image to see it’s a privately-owned folding shopping cart being pushed by I don’t know who.

Of course this isn’t a typical amount of peds you’d expect to find using the crosswalks at this intersection, but perhaps our SFMTA is, once again, being “aspirational.”

And this rendering is a lot better than some we’ve seen in the past, like this urbanist’s fever dream of our already-failed Octavia “Boulevard,” which turned out to be somehow too wide and not wide enough at the same time IRL:


On It Goes…

Notice of Meeting to Enshrine the “SFMTA COMMUTER SHUTTLE PROGRAM” – Nov. 17th, 2015 – List of All the Permanent Corporate Bus Stops

Friday, November 13th, 2015

Donna pilota – she is over, after 18 months.

So now comes time to make things permanent – here are the affected intersections:

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I expected to see a few places that I didn’t on this list, for whatever reason.

Here’s the link to the official SFMTA posting – you can use it until the SFMTA rejiggers its site, and after that the Wayback Machine should help you.

Here is The Future:


So Lyft is Paying Our SFMTA to Put Up Bus Stop Ads That Make Lyft Look Like a Transit System? “STOPS THAT JUST WON’T STOP”

Thursday, November 5th, 2015

Sure looks that way

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So what if a an Airbnber from Italy stopped rolling his luggage down Hayes and asked me, “Excuse please, what mean this?” Like, what would I say?

IDK. Lyft is a taxi service, I’d say. But I wouldn’t be able to explain the graphic or what STOPS THAT JUST WON’T STOP means.

Oh well.

Getaround Rent-A-Car Attains Personhood Status – Big Corporation Granted Coveted Residential Parking Program (RPP) Permits?

Thursday, November 5th, 2015

I thought you needed to prove that you lived (or worked, in some cases) in the area in order to qualify for the Residential Parking Permit Program.

Is Getaround Rent-a-Car now a resident in the 94117?

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So you can’t park in Getaround Rent-a-Car’s (formerly public) parking spaces for even one minute, but Getaround Rent-a-Car can park in your spaces all day long?


Chariot Launches “The Great Haight” – Commuter Bus Service to the Financial from the Upper Haight

Monday, November 2nd, 2015

The latest:

“Scott Owades, Lone[-ly] Mountain

As a transportation fanatic, I’m excited to be able to bring new commuting options into the neighborhood. My company, Chariot, is launching The Great Haight tomorrow, running down Haight & Oak St.

The route runs from 6:30 – 9:30 AM and 4:30 – 7:30 PM, and the pickups are:

Haight & Stanyan
Haight & Clayton
Haight & Masonic
Lyon & Oak
Oak & Pierce
Oak & Webster

While Muni serves Market St. well, it’s a pain to commute on Muni to SoMa & Caltrain. If you’re going in that direction, you should give this a [try].”

Grading the Getaround Rental Car Company on How It Maintains the Formerly Public Parking Spaces It’s Supposed to Maintain

Thursday, October 29th, 2015

Hey, here’s a question – why can’t our SFMTA issue tickets for blocking street sweepers if the spaces they’re taking up need cleaning?

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And here’s an answer – the rental car companies don’t feel like getting tickets, so they had our laws written for their benefit.

Are there any other answers?

Not that I can think of…