Posts Tagged ‘SFMTA’

Frisco Update: What’s “OUR VERSION OF THE LOUVRE” Museum? – It’s Levi’s Stadium, Per the Super Bowl L Host Committee

Tuesday, December 22nd, 2015

[UPDATE: Well I can’t really change the headline now, but perhaps it’s Levi’s Stadium itself running these ads? IDK.]

In the words of Hannibal Lecter, WHAT COULD BE MORE OFFENSIVE?

Via Reader James Corrigan comes this:

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(I thought it was officially Super Bowl L, but I guess we want to Keep Things Simple for fans by calling it SB 50?)

I’ll tell you, I know people who spend three(!) hours a day getting back and forth to northern Santa Clara County and that’s with the benefit of carpool lanes. But if you want to spend your time (what, four hours?) going to and coming back from Much Further South, like all the way down to the city of Santa Clara, well then be my guest. (Bring money.)

What are the headwinds here? Domestic Violence? Concussion Dangers? Losing Record? Personal Seat Licenses Dropping In Value By 80%? Coldplay? (Fucking) Train? Addled Transit In The 415 With Zero Compensation From The NFL / Our Vaunted Host Committee? (Hoist Committee? Heist Committee?)

IDK, man.

LEVI’S STADIUM, I served with THE LOUVRE.* I knew THE LOUVRE.*  THE LOUVRE was a friend of mine.* LEVI’S STADIUM, you’re no THE LOUVRE.

Let’s mark this down as 2015’s Most Offensive Pop-Up Ad of the Year.

*Oh, not actually – I’ve never been to Paris. 

One Part of Our Corrupt SFMTA’s Solution to Its Longtime Sunday Church/Temple Parking Issue is This Kind of DURING POSTED SERVICES White Zone

Wednesday, December 16th, 2015

It looks like this:

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So here’s a building from 2008:

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And here’s how it looks these days – do you see that massive new white zone there?

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So I guess if non-believers want to park there, they’ll need to learn this particular religion’s holy days.

In any event, this a more honest approach, compared with our SFMTA simply denying there’s an issue – that’s been its strategy from The Beginning all the way up to 2015…

City Target Store’s Massive U-Turn Problem on Masonic Near Geary – One After the Other

Wednesday, December 16th, 2015

Not much has changed here since earlier this year, except now illegal u-turn drivers are getting stuck all perpendicular on Masonic, owing to the City Target West lower parking lot’s appeal to shoppers this holiday season:

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There _is_ a left turn only green arrow where the whole Geary / Anza intersection comes to a stop to let three to four Target shoppers make a left or U turn, but this unique approach is failing.

Any solutions to this one, SFMTA?

On it goes…

Declaring the Intersection of Fell and Masonic a Failure – Our SFMTA Fails Yet Again – How To Fix This Mess

Monday, December 14th, 2015

This is typical on a weekend afternoon. On each and every signal cycle

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Our incompetent SFMTA could rejigger the timing of the traffic signals at Fell and Masonic and/or Fell and Oak so that careless drivers don’t block the box on each and every light cycle when things are busy, but our incompetent SFMTA don’t feel like doing that right now, apparently.

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Did you know that our incompetent SFMTA will rejigger signals at this particular intersection so that “peoples’ feelings won’t get hurt?” It’s true. I’ll get into it after I get around to posting some Fell and Masonic video on the YouTube.

Until that day, Gentle Reader. Until that day…

SFGov’s Institutionalized Double-Parking: Parking on Fell to Take a Long Wee-Wee – Would “City Family” Ticket Itself?

Thursday, December 10th, 2015

As with everything else, SFGov should look to itself afore it acts

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IMO.

Our SFMTA is Now Selling Neighborhood Street Parking Spaces for $2000 per Year – Getaround – “Carshare” They Call It

Thursday, December 10th, 2015

It looks like this:

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If you have a car but don’t give our SFMTA any money, then the SFMTA views you as a deadbeat. Our SFMTA wants/needs to grow, and it’s going to get more of your money to do it, just saying.

So what’s stopping it from painting up the Sunset and selling off (aka “manage”) spaces out there as well? IDK

LEVI’S Stadium, 2014-20xx – Faded Glory – Treasured Family Heirloom Abandoned Already

Tuesday, December 8th, 2015

Abandoned:

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Already.

If you asked actual people who live in SF what “experience” they’d like to have next, very few would say an “NFL Experience” and nobody, I mean absolutely nobody, would say an NFL Experience Driven By Hyundai.

Just saying.

When will Levi’s Stadium become so old-fashioned that it’ll get imploded? Pretty soon…

Our SFMTA’s “Management” of the Intersection of Geary and Powell in Union Square Over Black Friday Weekend was Dreadful

Thursday, December 3rd, 2015

This was Geary and Powell over the weekend – a whole bunch of nothing was going on as traffic on Geary was backed up as far as the eye could see. It looked like the staging area for our annual Chinese New Year parade. Why?

Well, somebody decided to shut down Audi Avenue to Lyft, Uber and everybody else ‘cepting for the Travis Bickells of the SFMTA. Why?

IDK why. Our SFMTA really really really hates what Uber and Lyft have done to revenues at … our SFMTA so it wants to spend more money while doing less.

But look at this mess – southbound Powell is now a mandatory right turn at Geary, except for cabbies. So you had countless SFMTA employees operating the mostly closed Audi Avenue, cycle after cycle. This dude here would try to signal the tech operating the big green box you can see on the right side of this shot:

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After all the peds crossed Geary and drivers entered Geary, you’d get a half minute of nothing going on, with nobody using the green on Powell. The upshot is that Geary backed backed up, Is this how the SFMTA imagined things? I mean, you have the big green box open to control the intersection but you can’t control the intersection? Or it takes 30 seconds to change the light? Trained monkeys would have done a better job…

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Here’s your now “activated” Powell Street, with a whole bunch of nothing going on – this encourages jaywalking of course.

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But look out, here come the taxis

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But not the Ubers and not the Lyfts.

Would the SFMTA ban the Uber and the Lyft if it could?

Oh yes, in a heartbeat. But of course it can’t do that, so instead it’ll just keep limiting turns and limiting access for Lyfts and Ubers until those drivers come begging the SFMTA for an A-Card, which guess what – they’re now having a sale! They’re waiving the $255 fee these days. So it’s SFMTA carrot and stick time, big-time.

On It Goes…

IT’S COME TO THIS: The Doughbies “Doughbus” Will Deliver Freshly Baked Cookies to You Within 20 Minutes? IS THIS REAL LIFE?

Wednesday, November 25th, 2015

I haven’t checked up on this ad yet, but I gotta say that I don’t think Doughbies is going to make it as a company.

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(And that’s my Haterade, sorry.)

And what if the Doughbies deliverer only had to give you something intangible, say something like a kiss on the cheek? Well, even then, I don’t see how this app could deliver. So like the deliverer would go to Nob Hill and park and then make it to your place in 20 minutes? How is that possible? Oh, the driver would illegally double park? OK well, maybe.

And didn’t pizza delivery places have to walk back promises of DELIVERED IN 30 MINUTES OR IT’S FREE due to getting sued over the concomitant reckless driving? I think so.

Or you’re going to use bike riders? Or scooters? IDK, man.

Oh what’s that, I’m hurting the “feelings” of the Doughbies all-seeing, all-knowing Founder(s)?

Sorry.

Oh what’s that, it’s good to fail, to give it a shot? Well, sure, for you, the Founder, using Other Peoples’ Money and then failing, well that could be a great career move. But this process might not be good for a lot of other people, don’t forget.

Oh yeah

[UPDATE: Oh I see. Delivery is restricted to the Financh and neighboring SoMA. So that’s why you advertise in the fucking Richmond District? OK fine. Yes, they do use bikes. But no, the 20 minutes isn’t really a serious thing. And of course, it’s only curbside delivery. So fine, but you shouldn’t address your pitch to “San Francisco” is all I can say…]

SFMTA MUNI Stares Down Mental Illness in Front of Twitter HQ – One Reason, Just One, of Why VisionZero 2024 is Impossible

Wednesday, November 25th, 2015

Oh here we go, here’s a 21 Hayes operator at 10th and Market. (Hey, you know the slow and inefficient #21, right? It comes to us, at great expense, via our slow and inefficient SFMTA.)

Anywho, here’s the scene, the driver with a green, the ped with a fierce attitude problem – it’s a staring contest:

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But let’s start at the beginning where Just Do It ambles against the red heading inbound on Market:

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And reaches the safety island. All the other peds stop for their red, but Just Do It doesn’t break stride, oh no. Now, here come the bus:

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What’s the ped’s message here? It’s like go ahead and run me down – make my day. Go ahead and just do it is what Just Do It is saying, more or less.

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While driving, biking or walking about town, I blithely assume that all pedestrians will manifest mental illness. Is that so wrong? I think not, obliviously.

OTOH, our SFMTA considers all peds perfect, perfect people – perfect people who make the occasional “mistake” by purposefully walking into traffic.

And DYK that the cause of most ped deaths last year in SF County was the peds themselves? Our SFMTA seems to ignore this reality. (Do you want to get into this, start talking about vehicle code violations and whose fault is what? I can do it. I have done it, AAMOF.) But Reality doesn’t win you any votes at the ballot box, and it doesn’t make Uncle Sucker want to send us some more sweet sweet pork from DC, so that’s why our SFMTA isn’t interested in Reality.

What will be the consequences for the people today spouting VisionZero 2024 when 2024 comes and the promises of VisionZero 2024 don’t? Nothing, absolutely nothing. Oh well.

If SFGov wants to legislate away all transportation deaths in town by 2024 and into the future, forever, it would need to be able to magically cure all mental illness, and even then it would fail. Really, SFGov would need to eliminate transportation altogether.

Sorry.