Posts Tagged ‘SFMTA’

Look Who’s Blogging Now: The SFMTA! – Presenting the Brand-New MUNI Blog, “[Slowly] Moving SF [If We Feel Like It]“

Friday, September 5th, 2014

The SFMTA knows it has an image problem, so when it spends our money to make itself look better it needs to acknowledge reality. So what it does is to say, “We’re working on it, we’re trying to get better.” See for yourself here at the new official MUNI Blog.

Compare it with PG&E’s current “We’re sorry we blew up part of San Bruno and killed eight people” campaign or Buick’s “We know we have a horrible brand image that’s been built up over the decades, but please give us another chance” campaign

So here it is, the Moving SF Slowly blog. What do we see here? We see a logo that was released with recklessness. And we see “excellent transportation choices?” What does that mean? Is it aspirational? Does the SFMTA really consider itself “excellent?” I mean, just random chance would have the transit system that you, the Gentle Reader, have be average, on average, or mediocre, right? But MUNI sucks, right? MUNI is the worst big-city transit system in America, right? So where does the “excellent” part come from? I mean, you’re living out there at 42nd and Lawton and what are your “excellent” “choices?” And “The SFMTA is responsible?” Do you think that phrase is in there by mistake? I don’t. IMO, it’s more phoney-baloney, folksy PR bullshit from an official SFMTA spokesmodel. And do the people at MUNI work “tirelessly?” Well, it depends. If you’re talking about the cable car operators who skim fares off of tourists six dollars at a time to “supplement” their already-fairly-large paychecks, well, perhaps you’re right, MUNI flack. And the SFMTA’s PR machine is only starting up now, in 2014? Like, they’ve never tried to start telling their “story” before? I think that’s incorrect. Anyway, check it:

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And who’s Kristen Holland? Why it’s none other than Nat Ford’s Right Hand Man!

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Or left-hand woman, in this shot anyway.

Hey Kristen, were you at the infamous “snitch” meeting? I think so! How has MUNI improved since then? You know, in some ways MUNI has gotten worse.

All right, we’ll see how this latest PR effort from MUNI goes. One suspects that Proposition A is the primary motive. (Hey Kristen, why would SFMTA Director Bruce Oka oppose giving you another blank check to the tune of a half billion dollars? Why not blog about that?)

Tracking a Russian James Bond Villain and His Superyacht in San Francisco Waters: Sausalito, Redwood City, What’s Next?

Thursday, September 4th, 2014

Get up to speed on Russian “mathematician” and billionaire Andrey Melnichenko and his floating lair “A” here.

This is a few days back, moored at Sausalito. And then you can see he motored south under the Bay Bridge and the San Mateo Bridge to Redwood Shores:

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Where will he go next? Follow along right here.

(Let’s hope his arrival won’t be followed by The Big One ala Zorin.)

And let’s remember that Redwood City was where the US military’s very own stealth ship, the Sea Shadow, used to be moored for all those years. You know, along with its floating barge, so-called HMB-1 (Howard Hughes Mining Barge One), except that was just a cover for Project Jennifer, a plan from 40 years ago to lift Soviet sub K-129 up from the ocean floor. I’m srsly, Comrades.

And oh yeah, this yacht has a secret James Bond-esque escape pod, just as on the star-crossed K-278

The SFMTA vs. a Poor, Defenseless Google Maps Car – Does This “Crime” Really Cost SF $66?

Thursday, September 4th, 2014

What’s the damage to San Francisco if this Google Maps car blocked a DPW street sweeper for 35 feet worth of Fell Street? IDK? A penny? Ten cents? It’s just a few leaves down there, right?

But what’s the cost? $68.50. The Maps Car driver planned on moving this rig before 8:00 AM Tuesday, but, you know, sometimes you forget to move the car. Anyway, this car got ticketed, with extreme prejudice:

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If parking tickets are so great, why shouldn’t the SFMTA charge $168.50 or $268.50? Why should SF have the world’s most expensive parking tickets, along with America’s slowest big city transit system? Why are we so unlucky?

He’s Ba-aack! The Ugly “Stealth Yacht” of Russian Billionaire Andrey Melnichenko Just Docked Near Redwood City

Wednesday, September 3rd, 2014

Here it is, the superyacht named “A,” as seen a few years back in the waters of Marin County:

And here it is again in 2014, like right now at this very instant, down in Silicon Valley near Redwood Shores or Redwood City or whatever:

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And here it was yesterday, in Sausalito again, looks like.

This vessel just fueled up its 200,000(!) gallon tank (that’s more than four times as much as MUNI spilled into San Francisco Bay that one time) to the tune of a half a million dollars up north in Washington State.

So, what are Bro et ux doing down in the Valley?

ASSIGNMENT DESK: Send somebody down there and find out. Talk to his hired goons. Ask him about the James Bond-esque escape pod on the yacht. Ask him about what local companies he’s investing in. You know, that whole routine.

Our SFMTA’s MOST DISTRACTED DRIVER? This SF Cabbie is Running FIVE Cell Phones on His Dashboard

Tuesday, September 2nd, 2014

Via Thomas Purves:

“Signs we have reached peak-app? Cabbie in SF running 5 dash mounted phones”

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Yowzer, what a photo.

All right, your move, SFMTA.

All right, your move, Ed Reiskin.

Know Your Lesser Corporate Shuttle Buses: “SF Minibus” – SFMTA Code # 13 – White Ford Econoline Van in SoMA

Thursday, August 21st, 2014

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The Traffic Speedometers the SFMTA Installed on Masonic Don’t Work Very Well

Wednesday, August 20th, 2014

Masonic is a crazy street with a crazy history. Like, 4 Masonic is more than 1000 feet away from 5 Masonic, for instance – what’s up with that? And on the other end of this street, up around the 1000 block, well, that’s where mayoral wives have lived, like Blanche Brown, you know, our First Lady up until ten years ago, the woman  that most people in town weren’t aware of, and, more recently, Jennifer Newsom, who moved away to Marin just months after husband Gavin was hectoring families to NOT move to Marin County, oh well.

Anyway, there have been three pedestrian / cyclist deaths on Masonic* in recent memory, so that’s part of the reason why the SFMTA installed a pair of speedometers to tell drivers how fast they’re going.

The problem is that they don’t work very well.

Like here. Moments before, it was indicating 24 MPH, but then it jumped up to 32 MPH all of a sudden for no reason. All the cars were moving about the same pace uphill and there was no traffic traveling down the hill:

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Speaking of which, the speedometer for traffic heading downhill is even less accurate. Sometimes it’s spot-on, sometimes it wildly optimistic, and other times it’s blank.

What’s the value in these speedometers if they don’t work?

Oh what’s that, MUNI / SFMTA? You don’t care, because you’ve moved on to other things?

Oh, OK.

*Two were due to very drunk drivers, who both kept on going (one ended up crashing into St. Mary’s and the other got busted near USF) and the other was due to a Trader Joe’s shopper jaywalking across Masonic north of Geary – this kind of jaywalking still happens hundreds of times a day even now.

So This New “Fixed” Company is Stapling Its Ads to SFMTA MUNI Parking Tickets – Is This Kosher?

Monday, August 18th, 2014

[UPDATE: Kevin Montgomery of ValleyWag has more on this topic. And yeah, at first I thought the the company was offering to pay the ticket out of its own pocket, but I don't think that's the case - it's just an ad. Anyway, I'll see if I can find another one of these ads to check all what it says. IMO, the first step after you get a ticket is figuring whether you deserved it or not. Well, were you blocking the street sweeper or not? Oh, you were? So why try to get the ticket "fixed?"]

IDK.

Here’s how I found things on Ashbury, in situ, with this fresh ticket from area bureaucrat Ed Reiskin sitting on the street:

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So I’ll explain this company’s bidness model: You give it your SFMTA citation information and it’ll try to “fix” your ticket the way the SFPD famously fixes tickets for ineffectual Mayor Ed Lee.

But how did this ticket end up on the ground? Perhaps the owner thought s/he would simply pay online and then tossed the ticket? Or maybe the owner thought this windshield flier was just another windshield flier and so just tossed it on the ground? Or perhaps the Fixed person didn’t take care when trying to put the ticket back after stapling it to the ad?

I’ll tell you, I don’t think you’re supposed to be taking tickets off of cars, as they are required to be there before the SFMTA can take your money to keep for itself. (Of course sometimes a citation might fall off of a car on its own, but all the SFMTA is required to do is to try to notify the driver, and this effort is followed up by mail.)

What’ll be next to be stapled to your parking tickets – restaurant menus?

And what does this mean?

“Up to 50% of tickets are dismissed when challenged.”

I’ll tell you, up to 50% of the gold medals handed out in the most recent Olympics were awarded to me!

Yeah, that’s the ticket…

In conclusion, I cry foul over this ham-fisted marketing effort.

UBER Taxi Guarantees $5000 in Income for Your First Month as a Driver, If You Believe This MUNI Bus Ad

Thursday, August 14th, 2014

Do you have to provide your own ride? If so, then you’d need to subtract out gas and whatnot, right?

IDK. Anyway, this is how our SFMTA makes money to pay its employees who lie about being sick, by taking ads for UBER: 

The ball’s in your court, Lyft

All the deets:

New UberX partners only.

Must drive a minimum of 40/hours a week with a 90% acceptance rate to be eligible.

Millionaire Lady Has Her Minimum Wage Employee Double-Park a Large Mercedes on Market: Bay Area Bike Share (BABS) in Action

Thursday, August 14th, 2014

Well, here it is:

Am I far off on this one? Minimum wage is $10.74 per hour these days. How much do these bikeshare Mercedes drivers make, you know, at a time after Alta has admitted to a “mistake” or two? And it looks like Alta is “privately held” so who knows how many millionaires own it…

Is this situation what the Planners of San Francisco planned?

Or is this just-park-where-you-feel-like-Alta policy and concomitant bike rack installation a “chop-shop project,” the likes of which San Francisco pols claim to eschew?