Posts Tagged ‘simpsons’

Vandalized Panhandle Playground Slide Crisis Enters Its Second Month – Won’t Somebody PLEASE Think of the Children?

Wednesday, June 25th, 2014

Amy Stephenson of Hoodline (fka uppercasing) has the deets on the The Case Of The Missing Panhandle Slides

Now here’s how the purple slides looked back in happier times, before The Attack of May 2014:

But then, sometime at the end of May, I’m guessing May 30th or May 31st, you know, the weekend, some vandal(s) (I’m guessing “young punks” or “hippies”) put a giant hole in the leftmost slide. Ouch!

So, first it was all like this…

…and then it was all like this – an even bigger hole:

But then on the following Monday (June 2nd), somebody from SFGov (DPW? RPD? SFPD?) came along and added some red DANGER tape:

And then soon after that, up went the plywood and then somebody came along and did a more permanent fix and so that’s how things look today, near the end of June.

Now I’m just assuming that the hole was the result of vandalism, but I don’t figure how else it could have happened.

(Can I blame SFGov for the hole? Nope. Not at all.)

(Can I find fault with how SFGov was/is handling the issue? Nope. Not at all.)

IMO, fixing these slides proper would be a big job, so simply getting another big old piece of plastic might be the best course of action. And that might take a while. I’m figuring a resolution by the end of July is reasonable – sorry kids.

In mitigation, the playground still has one working slide.

In the meantime, WON’T SOMEBODY PLEASE THINK OF THE CHILDREN?

The Best Thing Ever: 2014-2015 American Conservatory Theater to Feature “Mr. Burns – A Post Electric Play” – Feb 18th, 2015

Tuesday, June 24th, 2014

San Francisco’s Premier Non-Profit Theatre Company announced their 2014-2015 season a while back, but I missed it.

So I’m just finding out about the best idea ever for a play. Presenting “Mr. Burns – A Post Electric Play”

“A.C.T. presents the West Coast debut of the outrageous and enthusiastically acclaimed new comedy by Bay Area–born playwright Anne Washburn. The story begins in a dark dystopia, where a group of surviving strangers bond by recreating from memory an episode of The Simpsons. As the story moves decades later, their recollection becomes an almost religious-like fable, elaborately staged for adoring crowds through live theater and opera. A marvelously meta tribute to the pop-culture phenomenon The Simpsons and a paean to the power of storytelling, Mr. Burns is an ingenious exploration of how we share recollection, memory, and truth.”

There’s no way this can’t be great.

“One of the Top Ten Plays of 2013. Downright brilliant”—The New York Times

“Wonderfully clever”—The Wall Street Journal

See you there!

The Simpsons had a Monorail, We have the America’s Cup: “Benefits” Slashed 90% from $10 Billion

Tuesday, March 12th, 2013

Oh, no no no no no. The original estimate of the “economic benefits” (whatever the Hell that amorphous amorphism means) of the 34th America’s Cup was $9.9 B-as-in-boy billion.

Check it:

So that means that the supposed “benefits” of AC34 have dropped more than 90% as the costs continue to rise.

This mounting scandal is the talk of the town - it’ll be on Forum at 9:00 AM:

“America’s Cup organizers are falling short in their efforts to raise private donations to help pay for the cost of bringing the America’s Cup sailing competition to San Francisco — and that could leave the city on the hook for about $20 million. The Board of Supervisors holds hearings Wednesday to discuss the shortfall. Supporters say even without all of the promised private funds, the city still benefits financially from hosting the America’s Cup.

Host: Michael Krasny 

Guests:

  • Jane Sullivan, city spokesperson for the America’s Cup
  • John Avalos, San Francisco supervisor representing District 11″

In closing, fuck you, you deadbeat Larry Ellison.

And here’s the news from last year:

I understand that Mayor Ed Lee has a cheerleading function as a part of his job. Fine.

But what’s this? What the Hell?

“We expect to have some 500,000 people on a daily basis…” 

Just take a look on the YouTube, at around 9:30 and, mind you, this is AFTER everything blew up and people started realizing that the 2013 America’s Cup won’t be anywhere near as popular as advertised:

So, does Ed Lee actually believe that there’s a chance that the America’s Cup will attract anything close to a half million people “on a daily basis?”

No he does not.

So why does he say it?

Mmmm…

Now, speaking of cheerleading, @olivaglobal is the dude who was hired by the San Francisco Chronicle to promote the America’s Cup over the next 1.5 years. Here he goes:

That est was only for final match wknd. Rainy Tues est is 10K-20K LOL. Srsly look at plan.” 

So what’s the estimate, for real, for the crowd size on a off day during the AC? Appears as if these two AC34 cheerleaders are out of sync.

Now, speaking of studies, what the Hell is The America’s Cup: Economic Impacts of a Match on San Francisco Bay?Is it the “Independent Study” what everybody cites as proof of how great the AC is going to be?

I think it is!

Let’s take a look at the first line:

“The America’s Cup is the world’s third-largest sporting competition, after the Olympics and soccer’s World Cup.”

Here it is in the flesh:

So, let’s think about this here. I guess the bullshit Bay Area Council Economic Institute (BACEI) organization is allowing that the Summer Olympics and the World Cup just might possibly be bigger than an America’s Cup. But what about the Winter Olympics? Oh, and what about the Super Bowl?

Who actually believes that the America’s Cup, that thing where half the staff just got laid off and NBC needs to be paid in order to broadcast, is actually going to be bigger than a Super Bowl?

Nobody.

Not even the cheerleaders.

So why do they say these kinds of things?

All right here’s one more from the messed-up study what’s going to cost the taxpayers of San Francisco tens of millions of dollars. It discusses, and I’m srlsy, the “fleet of super yachts” what are going to be attracted to the bay area due to the America’s Cup, and then it talks about how much money we’re going to make by gassing them up and Windexing the shiny parts and stuff like that.

I’m srsly.

These cheerleaders are members of a modern day Cargo Cult and we’re all along for the ride.

And oh, we’re going to get the Golden State Warriors without funding the stadium at Piers 30-32? All right, so why then are we funding Larry Ellison’s ego trip of a boat race? Why are we allowing Him to get away with this?

I know not.

Screw the America’s Cup.

The world’s most popular sport may be soccer, but in cold, hard dollars, nobody throws a party like the National Football League.

• 1. Super Bowl

• 2. Summer Olympics

• 3. FIFA World Cup

• 4. Daytona 500

• 5. Rose Bowl

• 6. NCAA Men’s Final Four

• 7. Winter Olympics Games

• 8. Kentucky Derby

• 9. World Series

• 10. NBA Finals”

“McRib is Back,” Ribwich Returns – On Sale Now at the Western Addition McDonalds – Time to Update the McRib Locator

Wednesday, October 19th, 2011

Never believe anybody’s “Farewell Tour” is going to be their last – that’s true for Barbra Streisand as well as the people at McDonalds, who famously killed the famous McRib back in aught-five.

But the Bay Area is crazy for McRib these days, apparently.

So maybe the McRib website and the concomitant boneless pigs.org site (srsly) are both gone now, but the McRib is back, baby.

Enjoy.

As seen on Golden Gate:

Click to expand

Remembering Hard-Working Frank Grimes on the 14th Anniversary of His Death – Homer’s Enemy Lives On

Wednesday, May 11th, 2011

It’s hard to believe that it’s been 14 years since Frank “Grimey” Grimes passed away due to an accident at a nuclear power plant.

Anyway, May 4 was Frank Grimes Day.

Respect.

Check It Out, Man! 44-Cent Simpsons Animation Stamps Released Today

Thursday, May 7th, 2009

The pain of increased postal rates starting May 11, 2009 will be eased somewhat with news of the Citizens’ Stamp Advisory Committee‘s decision to allow the troubled United States Postal Service to use characters from The Simpsons cartoon show. So you should beat a path to your local P.O. and pick some up.  

Stampspotters are getting excited about this – they’re planning on mailing out letters today from certain areas in order to get a souvenir cancellation printed. How about Simsponsville, South Carolina? Or better yet, Springfield, WI (Which Springfield though? The Badger State has like five(!) towns of Springfield.)  

Here’s what’s going on in Springfield, Virginia (I was afraid to play the video, but it looks intriguing) and here’s a promotion from the 94117, Haight-Ashbury, California. Click to expand:

And here’s what your cancellation will look like from the 05156 in Vermont today:

Woo hoo!

So many Springfields, so little time:

  • Springfield, California
  • Springfield, Colorado
  • Springfield, Florida
  • Springfield, Jacksonville, Florida, a neighborhood of Jacksonville
  • Springfield, Georgia
  • Springfield, Illinois, the state capital of Illinois
  • Springfield, Indiana, an unincorporated place
  • Springfield, Kentucky
  • Springfield, Louisiana
  • Springfield, Maine
  • Springfield, Massachusetts, the first Springfield in the United States, established 1636
  • Springfield, Michigan, a city in Calhoun County
  • Springfield, Minnesota, in Brown County
  • Springfield, Missouri, as of 2007, the largest city in the United States named Springfield
  • Springfield, Nebraska
  • Springfield, New Hampshire
  • Springfield Township, Union County, New Jersey, site of the Battle of Springfield (1780)
  • Springfield Township, Burlington County, New Jersey
  • Springfield/Belmont neighborhood of Newark, New Jersey
  • Springfield, New York
  • Springfield, Ohio
  • Springfield, Oregon
  • Springfield, Pennsylvania
  • Springfield, South Carolina
  • Springfield, South Dakota
  • Springfield, Tennessee
  • Springfield, Texas
  • Springfield, Vermont
  • Springfield, Virginia
  • Springfield, West Virginia
  • Springfield, Dane County, Wisconsin
  • Springfield, Jackson County, Wisconsin
  • Springfield, Marquette County, Wisconsin
  • Springfield, St. Croix County, Wisconsin
  • Springfield, Walworth County, Wisconsin
  • 500 People at Presidio Trust Board Meeting – Main Post Plans, Including CAMP Museum

    Wednesday, April 8th, 2009

    Well, there were a few surprises at last night’s Presidio Trust  Board of Directors meeting at the Palace of Fine Arts. Get up to speed on the issues here, and then take a look below to see what it was like. Here’s a take from John Upton over at the Examiner and here’s another from Curbed SF.

    After Presidio Trust Director Craig Middleton gave the crowd an update, everyone got to see more-detailed plans on the controversial CAMP museum proposal via a Powerpoint slideshow. The architect from San Francisco-based WRNS Studio received sustained applause when he finished his presentation. That was a surprise, certainly.

    In fact, the audience seemed just about evenly split, with half supporting the Main Post plans and the other “flamethrowing” half opposing. That was a surprise as well.

    Click to expand:

    What’s this? Pro-museum protesters or supporters, or whatever you want to call them? Never before have I seen this:

    For those of you who like to see issues simplified into dramaturgical dyads, a portion of the happy CAMPers are on the left and a portion of the opposing NIMBY and preservationist groups are on the right, the site of the anti-CAMPers’ putative news conference. 

    The mise-en-scene. Were more people here than at the last board meeting on December 9th? Yes. The Palace of Fine Arts Theatre (made famous by the appearance last Fall of ukulele-playing Jake Shimabukuro - 3 million astounded YouTube viewers can’t be wrong) was half-full or half-empty, depending on your point of view. So that’s about 500 souls motivated enough to show up:

    This chart actually makes sense to me now. It shows how far we’re progressing to the end of the process and the beginning of the inevitable lawsuit designed to chuck all these plans out the window.

    And here we are, the proposed Contemporary Art Museum of the Presidio 2.0. (Learn about CAMP 1.0 here, via the New York Times.) The Gallery Building dominates but don’t forget about the quasi-subteranean Art Handling Building on the left and Building 101 in the upper right hand corner. There’s your ”B”-as-in-boy, billion-dollar CAMP museum:

    Here’s a 3D view:

    The Pavillion level is up top…

    …and the Courtyard Level is down below:

    Sections, just like my grandmother’s MRI!

    The Future is Now:

    All of the Gallery Building is below the altitude of the eaves of the Presdio Theatre, seen in foreground:

    Subteranean by design/ I wonder what I would find if I met you:

    The Gallery is three buildings, three buildings in one. Historic Building 100 and the defunct Presidio Theatre rise above:

    Oh no! It’s the kids from UC Berkeley Law School. They practically hijacked the meeting. And that was the final surprise of the evening, before I had to get home to some Java curry. Now it’s one thing to be a millionaire homeowner NIMBY living in the Marina or Cow Hollow, but there’s literally millions of millionaires out there. On the other hand there are only so many folks able to get into Berkeley Law. The nine or ten speakers from the law school contingent displayed far more intellectual candlepower than typical speakers at these kinds of public meetings. 

    This didn’t make for good theater, because the college kids were basically speed-reading their ideas into the record, but diverse and novel viewpoints were expressed, and that’s a Good Thing, right? It will be interesting to see the transcript when it comes out, certainly.

    Here’s how I left it:

    Oh, and about that crowd size estimate. The Examiner is saying just 250 people? So if four times as many people showed up, almost everybody would have had a seat in the venue (one that can handle 1000 if you include the small number of people who prefer to stand on the sidelines)? No way, Jose. The proper count is about 500.

    To Be Continued…