Posts Tagged ‘slow’

Our SFMTA MUNI Says, “What the Hell, Let’s Bring Back the 28L” – As Seen Yesterday on 19th Ave

Wednesday, October 18th, 2017

Our SFMTA, operator of America’s Slowest Big-City Transit System™️, wants you to think better of it, so it changed the highly descriptive L for LIMITED nomenclature to the Orwellian R for RAPID. So now you’ll see the word all over, printed multiple times on bus stops, the better for you to associate MUNI with RAPID.

So that was then, but this is now, as seen just yesterday:

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Vox pop recentem:

What is a 28L? Why not reported on predictions app?”

Rec & Park Lays Down the Law in the Panhandle: New GGB-Style Stencils Tell Cyclists to SLOW at Crosswalks

Tuesday, September 26th, 2017

Here you go – the paint’s still wet:

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When I say GGB-style, I mean the way they do things on the narrow sidewalk of the east side of the Golden Gate Bridge. It’s kind of the same thing up there.

Anyway, here you have it – our brand-new painted pedestrian crosswalks on the Golden Gate Park Panhandle’s multi-use path now have instructions, telling bike riders “XING SLOW,” see?

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So this should end any (endless) discussion about who has right of way, and it should get a certain percentage of (usually male, road-bike owning, I-had-a-dream-last-night-that-I-won-the-Tour-de France) bike riders to be more cautious.

In closing, here’s a big-ass RPD stencil:

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Frisco’s Funniest Parking Ticket – It’s Just $23 at a Time When $100 is About the Average

Monday, April 17th, 2017

Here’s how you’d get it. See the problem?

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It’s called “parking on the grass” (even if you’re merely parking on dirt due to all the others before you parking in the same place).

Now what’s funny is that the cost of this ticket (it was just $23 back in 2014, and the ticket giver thought it was $26 at that time, and who knows how much it is now, prolly still comically small) obviously hasn’t kept up with inflation, for some reason.

Why this ticket isn’t $300 is a mystery to me.

Anyway, parking on the curb should be A-OK, but this driver went a little too far…

(d) No person shall park any vehicle on any
lawn, or planted area, or unimproved area or on
any pedestrian or equestrian lane, or on any
access road or unpaved service road or firetrail
or in any manner so as to block access to or exit
from any service road or access road or firetrail,
or in any other place in the park where the rules
and regulations of the Recreation and Park Com-
mission prohibit vehicular parking, unless al-
lowed otherwise by permit; (more…)

Ah, the Sunset District: Home of Chain Stores, Unreliable Transit, and Oppressive Fog

Monday, February 16th, 2015

I used to live in the Sunset Part of the Sunset / Parkside

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Not much has changed.

Anyway, the Kragen Auto Parts is owned by a different chain these days..

Cruel Shoes: If You’re Going to Have to Wait for Your SFMTA MUNI Bus for a While, You Might As Well Do It In Style

Monday, February 9th, 2015

Thusly:

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Proof That SFGov Has a Sense of Humor: A Parking Ticket for Just $23?

Wednesday, September 17th, 2014

This ticket was issued in July 2014. The officer wrote $26 but the actual fine was just $23.

It was for “parking on grass” except there wasn’t any actual grass parked upon, oh well.

Anyway, it’s obvious that Rec and Park hasn’t caught up with the SFMTA in the ticket price inflation competition:

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Why isn’t this ticket $123 or $223?

And why does the SFMTA, operators of the worst big city transit agency in America, have the highest parking ticket prices in America?

Oh well.

Anyway, if you want a parking violation that you can laugh off as you’re paying it off, this is the one for you

Octavia Boulevard Update: Anybody Who Claims This Short Road Has “High-Speed Motor Traffic” is Lying

Monday, September 15th, 2014

Simply.

Now if you want real “high-speed motor traffic,” well then look to the 280 freeway.

But if you want a poorly-designed glorified freeway offramp with lots of slow-moving bumper-to-bumper gridlock, well then Octavia is your bingo.

See? This is typical. Traffic has been jammed up here starting about a week after this road opened. This is exactly what low-speed traffic looks like: 

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A note to advocacy journalists who think it’s their job to lie:

No it’s not!

Lying hurts your case. Lying doesn’t help your case.

 

What Does It Mean When a Ferrari Driver Goes 50 MPH on the Freeway? It Means He’s Holding a Cell Phone Up To His Face

Tuesday, August 26th, 2014

This driver wasn’t looking down at his cell phone (or iPod Touch or small tablet or phablet – I couldn’t really tell) while driving 15-20 MPH slower than surrounding traffic, oh no. Brocephus here was holding his mobile up high above the steering wheel.

I’ve never seen this before. Anyway, it’s your classic distracted driving and the proof of that is how slowly he was going.

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(And a license plate? Oh no, no thanks, not for me, not for my Ferrari. License plates are for the little people driving around in their Honda Civics…)

Attention Ferraristi: You all think that you’re “good drivers” but in fact, as a group, you’re not. You’re all now on secret double probation – straighten up and fly right.

Possibly Legal But Stupid Nevertheless: Riding Bikes Side-By-Side Slowly Uphill on Pine Street

Thursday, July 31st, 2014

Now some cops in California will give you a ticket for this, for riding side by side at 5 MPH on a street like Pine.

Legal or not, I don’t recommend this kind of thing: 

Click to expand

(And actually, the CA code section that was written to limit the right of cyclists to block other traffic is now interpreted by some to give special rights to cyclists. It depends on how you look at things.)