Presenting Finn the spokesfish for Pepperidge Farm – “The Snack That Smiles Back! Goldfish!”
All right Gentle Reader, well how about a Great Blue Heron with a crayfish at Stow Lake from ten years back instead?
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Except when it is a crime.
Actually, just riding your bike through the Fell Street DMV parking lot is a crime unless there’s a sign saying it’s OK to do so and, sadly, there’s no such sign.
Anyway, today’s show must go on:
It looked just like this in 2012, at the second annual. Good times:
And there’s a little background on this after the jump.
Ashton, you’re not funny – try something else.
Ashton, your entourage (and also all the Pop Chips people) were afraid to tell you that your skits were not even remotely entertaining. What else didn’t they / don’t they tell you?
Oh, and the reviews are in:
That Popchips company thinks it’s funny to have dull-witted spokesmodel / dull-witted investor Ashton Kutcher* do some free YouTube videos only to take them down if they prove too controversial.
All right, Popchips, here’s the thing: The problem with the video wasn’t that it was “controversial.”
The problem was that it was stupid.
Oh, and not funny.
Not funny at all.
Did you all think enough to say something, Popchips people? Something like, “Yeah, Ashton, we know you want to do these videos, but they’re not good.” Oh, you all just thought that, but you didn’t want to actually say anything at the time? Well that’s just not going to fly.
N0w let’s hear from people who actually tried eating the product that Ashton Kutchner wants to make money from:
And if newfangled Popchips turn out to cause cancer, then you the consumer just might end up dead from buying something that made dull-witted spokesmodel / dull-witted Popchips investor*** Ashton Kutcher ever so slightly richer.
You wouldn’t want that, would you?
*He reminds me of our similarly dull-witted former Mayor Gavin Newsom, for some reason.** Hey, whatever happened to that guy?
**Oh, maybe it was the Fiji Water I was reminded of. Our former Mayor just loved his Fiji Water, of course. I could totally see Gavin becoming a dull-witted spokesmodel / dull-witted investor / Brand Ambassador for the Fiji Water.
***Back in the day, famous actor O.J. Simpson similarly invested in HoneyBaked Ham. You know, because he liked the company. But OJ had the sense to not do stupid commercials for Honeybaked.
So that means “NO First or Second Checked Bag Fees, Change Fees, Fuel Surcharges, Snack Fees, Aisle or Window Seat Fees, Curbside Check-In Fees, or Phone Reservation Fees.” Hurray!
What the “legacy” carriers don’t seem to understand is that some people really, really don’t like hidden fees. Like how some restaurants in San Francisco hit you with an undisclosed 4% tack-on when you get your bill.
Fly with Southwest and you’ll think you’ve been transported back to the 1970’s, when fees were a four-letter word:
Nostalgic photo via Church of the Customer
Now, some may quibble about a few things, like how the cheapest fares from Southwest are only available online. But that’s as it should be, since reserving a flight by yourself lowers the expenses of running the airline. This is a better approach than a company advertising a price and then surprising you with a fee that you didn’t even know existed. The point is that Southwest has none of the new fees all the other airlines seem to have.
Now this might put SWA at a disadvantage when they advertise their rates, because they lose all those little “profit centers” the other airlines take advantage of. But just remember that Bags Fly Free, and lots of other things are free, when you fly with LUV.
Hurray. Certain other airlines should take notice of this.