Posts Tagged ‘stephen Barclay’

The Simpsons had a Monorail, We have the America’s Cup: “Benefits” Slashed 90% from $10 Billion

Tuesday, March 12th, 2013

Oh, no no no no no. The original estimate of the “economic benefits” (whatever the Hell that amorphous amorphism means) of the 34th America’s Cup was $9.9 B-as-in-boy billion.

Check it:

So that means that the supposed “benefits” of AC34 have dropped more than 90% as the costs continue to rise.

This mounting scandal is the talk of the town - it’ll be on Forum at 9:00 AM:

“America’s Cup organizers are falling short in their efforts to raise private donations to help pay for the cost of bringing the America’s Cup sailing competition to San Francisco — and that could leave the city on the hook for about $20 million. The Board of Supervisors holds hearings Wednesday to discuss the shortfall. Supporters say even without all of the promised private funds, the city still benefits financially from hosting the America’s Cup.

Host: Michael Krasny 

Guests:

  • Jane Sullivan, city spokesperson for the America’s Cup
  • John Avalos, San Francisco supervisor representing District 11″

In closing, fuck you, you deadbeat Larry Ellison.

And here’s the news from last year:

I understand that Mayor Ed Lee has a cheerleading function as a part of his job. Fine.

But what’s this? What the Hell?

“We expect to have some 500,000 people on a daily basis…” 

Just take a look on the YouTube, at around 9:30 and, mind you, this is AFTER everything blew up and people started realizing that the 2013 America’s Cup won’t be anywhere near as popular as advertised:

So, does Ed Lee actually believe that there’s a chance that the America’s Cup will attract anything close to a half million people “on a daily basis?”

No he does not.

So why does he say it?

Mmmm…

Now, speaking of cheerleading, @olivaglobal is the dude who was hired by the San Francisco Chronicle to promote the America’s Cup over the next 1.5 years. Here he goes:

“That est was only for final match wknd. Rainy Tues est is 10K-20K LOL. Srsly look at plan.” 

So what’s the estimate, for real, for the crowd size on a off day during the AC? Appears as if these two AC34 cheerleaders are out of sync.

Now, speaking of studies, what the Hell is “The America’s Cup: Economic Impacts of a Match on San Francisco Bay?” Is it the “Independent Study” what everybody cites as proof of how great the AC is going to be?

I think it is!

Let’s take a look at the first line:

“The America’s Cup is the world’s third-largest sporting competition, after the Olympics and soccer’s World Cup.”

Here it is in the flesh:

So, let’s think about this here. I guess the bullshit Bay Area Council Economic Institute (BACEI) organization is allowing that the Summer Olympics and the World Cup just might possibly be bigger than an America’s Cup. But what about the Winter Olympics? Oh, and what about the Super Bowl?

Who actually believes that the America’s Cup, that thing where half the staff just got laid off and NBC needs to be paid in order to broadcast, is actually going to be bigger than a Super Bowl?

Nobody.

Not even the cheerleaders.

So why do they say these kinds of things?

All right here’s one more from the messed-up study what’s going to cost the taxpayers of San Francisco tens of millions of dollars. It discusses, and I’m srlsy, the “fleet of super yachts” what are going to be attracted to the bay area due to the America’s Cup, and then it talks about how much money we’re going to make by gassing them up and Windexing the shiny parts and stuff like that.

I’m srsly.

These cheerleaders are members of a modern day Cargo Cult and we’re all along for the ride.

And oh, we’re going to get the Golden State Warriors without funding the stadium at Piers 30-32? All right, so why then are we funding Larry Ellison’s ego trip of a boat race? Why are we allowing Him to get away with this?

I know not.

Screw the America’s Cup.

“The world’s most popular sport may be soccer, but in cold, hard dollars, nobody throws a party like the National Football League.

• 1. Super Bowl

• 2. Summer Olympics

• 3. FIFA World Cup

• 4. Daytona 500

• 5. Rose Bowl

• 6. NCAA Men’s Final Four

• 7. Winter Olympics Games

• 8. Kentucky Derby

• 9. World Series

• 10. NBA Finals”

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Is the America’s Cup Actually “the World’s Third-Largest Sporting Competition?” No – Why Does Mayor Ed Lee Lie to Us?

Wednesday, May 23rd, 2012

I understand that Mayor Ed Lee has a cheerleading function as a part of his job. Fine.

But what’s this? What the Hell?

“We expect to have some 500,000 people on a daily basis…” 

Take a look on the YouTube, at around 9:30 and, mind you, this is AFTER everything blew up and people started realizing that the 2013 America’s Cup won’t be anywhere near as popular as advertised:

So, does Ed Lee actually believe that there’s a chance that the America’s Cup will attract anything close to a half million people “on a daily basis?”

No he does not.

So why does he say it?

Mmmm…

Now, speaking of cheerleading, @olivaglobal is the dude who was hired by the San Francisco Chronicle to promote the America’s Cup over the next 1.5 years. Here he goes:

“That est was only for final match wknd. Rainy Tues est is 10K-20K LOL. Srsly look at plan.” 

So what’s the estimate, for real, for the crowd size on a off day during the AC? Appears as if these two AC34 cheerleaders are out of sync.

Now, speaking of studies, what the Hell is “The America’s Cup: Economic Impacts of a Match on San Francisco Bay?” Is it the “Independent Study” what everybody cites as proof of how great the AC is going to be?

I think it is!

Let’s take a look at the first line:

“The America’s Cup is the world’s third-largest sporting competition, after the Olympics and soccer’s World Cup.”

Here it is in the flesh:

So, let’s think about this here. I guess the bullshit Bay Area Council Economic Institute (BACEI) organization is allowing that the Summer Olympics and the World Cup just might possibly be bigger than an America’s Cup. But what about the Winter Olympics? Oh, and what about the Super Bowl?

Who actually believes that the America’s Cup, that thing where half the staff just got laid off and NBC needs to be paid in order to broadcast, is actually going to be bigger than a Super Bowl?

Nobody.

Not even the cheerleaders.

So why do they say these kinds of things?

All right here’s one more from the messed-up study what’s going to cost the taxpayers of San Francisco tens of millions of dollars. It discusses, and I’m srlsy, the “fleet of super yachts” what are going to be attracted to the bay area due to the America’s Cup, and then it talks about how much money we’re going to make by gassing them up and Windexing the shiny parts and stuff like that.

I’m srsly.

These cheerleaders are members of a modern day Cargo Cult and we’re all along for the ride.

And oh, we’re going to get the Golden State Warriors without funding the stadium at Piers 30-32? All right, so why then are we funding Larry Ellison’s ego trip of a boat race? Why are we allowing Him to get away with this?

I know not.

Screw the America’s Cup.

 

“The world’s most popular sport may be soccer, but in cold, hard dollars, nobody throws a party like the National Football League.

• 1. Super Bowl

• 2. Summer Olympics

• 3. FIFA World Cup

• 4. Daytona 500

• 5. Rose Bowl

• 6. NCAA Men’s Final Four

• 7. Winter Olympics Games

• 8. Kentucky Derby

• 9. World Series

• 10. NBA Finals”

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All the Lies About the Already-Disappointing America’s Cup Boat Race in San Francisco Started with this Study from the BACEI

Friday, March 30th, 2012

All that fuss about the America’s Cup started with a grossly-distorted report from the Bay Area Council Economic Institute. Here’s the start of it:

“Executive Summary: The America’s Cup is the world’s third-largest sporting competition, after the Olympics and soccer’s World Cup.”

UH, WHO MADE THIS UP? WHO BELIEVES THIS? FIRST OF ALL, “THE OLYMPICS” IS ACTUALLY THE SUMMER OLYMPICS AND THE WINTER OLYMPICS, SO THE AMERICA’S CUP WOULD HAVE TO BE NUMBER FOUR AT BEST. SECOND OF ALL, NOBODY REALLY CARES ABOUT THE AMERICA’S CUP.* SO, THE “INDEPENDENT STUDY” FROM THE CHAMBER OF COMMERCE OF WHATEVER THE HELL CHEERLEADING ORGANIZATION STARTS OFF WITH A LIE. PAR FOR THE COURSE.

Securing hosting rights to the Cup is therefore a prestigious and economically significant prize for any community. 

NO, SEE, NO, YOU CAN’T DO THAT, YOU CAN’T START BUILDING YOUR CASE WITHOUT A FOUNDATION, CAN YOU? I SUPPOSE THAT IF ENOUGH PEOPLE BELIEVE THAT THE AMERICA’S CUP IS “PRESTIGIOUS” THEN IT WILL SOMEDAY BECOME SO, BUT WE’RE NOT AT THAT POINT YET. AC IS NO “PRIZE.”

The economic benefits of bringing the America’s Cup to San Francisco would come primarily through expenditures by racing syndicates, and through spending on hotels, restaurants, and retail and other services by both domestic and overseas visitors and Bay Area residents.

ALL RIGHT, THOSE TWO THINGS. BUT WHERE WILL THE DEFICITS COME FROM? WOULD YOU CARE TO DETAIL THOSE?

If the competition were to run for three months, this could lead to an additional 2.6 million spectators.

AND IF YOU START FLAPPING YOUR ARMS HARD ENOUGH, THIS COULD LEAD TO SUSTAINED FLIGHT.

While these impacts would be primarily concentrated in San Francisco, nearby counties such as Alameda, Marin, Napa, Sonoma, and San Mateo would also benefit from increased visitor and maritime activity. This report endeavours to provide estimates of the economic impact of an America’s Cup match on the San Francisco Bay. Other economists have paved the way by providing estimates of the economic impacts of previous America’s Cups, including an analysis of the economic impacts of the 32nd America’s Cup of 2007 in Valencia, Spain. Starting with that study as a rough guide, this analysis makes a number of assumptions: that infrastructure cost and spending will be several billion dollars less; that spectator attendance will be considerably larger; that the media’s presence will be larger; and that the presence of super yachts will likely be smaller.

UH, BUT NOBODY REALLY CARES ABOUT THE AMERICA’S CUP THOUGH, RIGHT? THIS THING IS A CRUSHING DISAPPOINTMENT ALREADY, RIGHT? WEREN’T THERE SUPPOSED TO BE 18 TEAMS? AND THEN THE ORGANIZERS LOWERED THE ENTRY FEE TO A TOKEN AMOUNT BUT THERE’S STILL VERY LITTLE INTEREST?

From this, we estimate that the increase in overall economic activity in San Francisco due to hosting an America’s Cup could be on the order of $1.37 billion.

AND IF YOU START FLAPPING YOUR ARMS HARD ENOUGH, THIS COULD LEAD TO SUSTAINED FLIGHT.

This is three times the estimated impact of hosting the Super Bowl ($300-$500 million).

NOW HOLD ON, PEOPLE ACTUALLY _LIKE_ THE SUPER BOWL, ARE WE CONFLATING THE TWO EVENTS HERE? AND ACTUALLY, NBC _PAYS_ THE NFL FOR THE RIGHTS TO AIR THE SUPERBOWL (SOME YEARS, ANYWAY) BUT THE AMERICA’S CUP PEOPLE ARE _PAYING NBC_ TO AIR THE AMERICA’S CUP, RIGHT? SO ISN’T THE AMERICA’S CUP KIND OF THE OPPOSITE OF THE SUPER BOWL?

The potential increase in employment surrounding the event could be on the order of 8,840 jobs.

AND NEXT MONTH, I’LL INCREASE THE NET WORTH OF ALL MY READERS, ALL 14 OF THEM, BY $8,840, YOU KNOW, I’LL JUST GIVE THEM ALL MONEY, POTENTIALLY.

This increase in output and employment would likely yield a benefit to state and local government coffers of nearly $85 million.

NOOOPE!

Additional taxes alone to the City’s General Fund are expected to net more than $13 million, based on more than $24 million in revenue, and an estimated $11 million in tourism related costs.

NICE USE OF PASSIVE VOICE THERE. EXPECTED BY WHOM?

Looking beyond the Bay Area, California’s economy would see increased economic activity of $1.43 billion. The U.S. economy as a whole would see increased economic activity of $1.85 billion.

AND WHAT ABOUT THE WORLD AS A WHOLE? IT’S A WIN-WIN, RIGHT? EVERYBODY WINS! HURRAY?

This increase would support the creation of 11,978 jobs.

UH, I THINK YOU MEAN GIGS, YOU KNOW, TEMPORARY EMPLOYMENT?

The figures produced here are likely to be compared to previous estimates indicating that hosting the Cup on the Bay would result in economic benefits to the region on the order of $9.9 billion.

UH, DO YOU HAVE A CITE FOR THIS PIE IN THE SKY? DOES SOMEBODY OUT THERE THINK THAT HOSTING LARRY’S LITTLE BOAT RACE IS AS GOOD AS BILL GATES GIVING US $10 BILLION? REALLY?

We have consciously made an effort to be conservative in our analysis and to evaluate economic impacts for which there is a factual basis and which would be unique to the venue of the San Francisco Bay, and by focusing on readily quantifiable benefits as opposed to those that are more speculative.

WOW, CONSCIOUSLY? LET’S HOPE YOU DIDN’T STRAIN YOURSELVES.

WHOEVER WROTE THIS REPORT IS DELUSIONAL.

SIMPLY.

*NOW, WHAT ABOUT EVENTS BIGGER THAN THE POORLY-NAMED AMERICA’S CUP? HEY HOW ABOUT SOMETHING CALLED UEFA? I THINK THAT’S GOING ON RIGHT NOW IN EUROPE. PUT THAT ON YOUR LIST OF SPORTS BIGGER THAN LIL LARRY’S BACKYARD BOAT RACE.

“The world’s most popular sport may be soccer, but in cold, hard dollars, nobody throws a party like the National Football League.

• 1. Super Bowl

• 2. Summer Olympics

• 3. FIFA World Cup

• 4. Daytona 500

• 5. Rose Bowl

• 6. NCAA Men’s Final Four

• 7. Winter Olympics Games

• 8. Kentucky Derby

• 9. World Series

• 10. NBA Finals”

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So It Turns Out We’ll End Up Paying to Watch Larry Ellison Fix the America’s Cup Boat Race After All? All Right

Tuesday, March 20th, 2012

Well here’s the news:

New America’s Cup Deal to be Submitted Tuesday at Board of Supervisors

WOW, I’LL BET THEY’RE ALL INKING UP THEIR RUBBER “YES” STAMPS RIGHT NOW!

San Francisco, California, 20/03/2012

THIS IS THE AMERICA’S CUP SO OF COURSE EVERYBODY INVOLVED SPEAKS EUROPEAN. BOY, I CAN’T WAIT UNTIL 10/11/12 – CAN YOU? OH WAIT, I MEANT 11/10/12, WHICH IS NOVEMBER 10TH, OR IS IT OCTOBER 11TH?

“It’s an arrangement we can live with, but not what we expected,” America’s Cup Leaders say.

WHEN LOWER CASE LETTERS WON’T HONOR YOU ENOUGH, CHOOSE UPPER CASE AND THEN CALL YOURSELVES “LEADERS.” HAW-HAW. OH WHAT’S THAT? WE’RE STILL NOT GIVING YOUR ALREADY FAILED AND OVERHYPED EVENT THAT NOBODY CARES ABOUT ENOUGH MONEY? AWW, THAT’S TOO BAD!

The head of the organization spearheading the America’s Cup in San Francisco today said that they will support the deal that the office of Mayor Edwin M. Lee submitted to the Board, which finalizes the path for the City of San Francisco to host the world’s most prestigious sailing event, the America’s Cup, in San Francisco during the summer of 2013.

SO, YOU’LL SUPPORT THE DEAL YOU JUST MADE WITH THE MAYOR. HOW GENEROUS OF YOU ALL! HOW SURPRISING! BUT I’D SAY THAT SAILING AT THE SUMMER OLYMPICS IS MORE PRESTIGIOUS, JMO.

“We have worked very hard to bring this historic race to San Francisco and we’re glad we have reached an agreement with the City,” said Stephen Barclay, a Director of the America’s Cup Event Authority. “While we support the deal submitted to the Board, it is not what we had anticipated or planned for.”

HEY, AREN’T YOU THE SAME SACK OF SHIT WHO SAID YOU WOULD TAKE THE AMERICA’S CUP TO FUN DIEGO? AND YET YOU AREN’T FOLLOWING THROUGH ON YOUR THREAT? YOU WERE LYING THEN, WEREN’T YOU, STEPHEN BARCLAY? AND WELL, YOU KNOW, ANDREW LUSTER GOING TO JAIL FOR DATE RAPE DRUGGING PEOPLE WAS, SIMILARLY, NOT WHAT HE “ANTICIPATED OR PLANNED FOR,” RIGHT? SO WHAT’S YOUR POINT?

Barclay said the new deal falls short on several key provisions that were “anticipated to be included and the absence of these provisions will have a negative impact on the financial outcome of the event.

CRAZY LARRY ELLISON WANTS TO HAVE A BOAT RACE AND HE WANTS THE PEOPLE OF THE BAY AREA TO PAY ATTENTION. WHY ON EARTH SHOULD REGULAR PEOPLE SUBSIDIZE THAT VENTURE? MAYBE AMERICAN’S DON’T WANT TO GIVE YOU MONEY TO WATCH SAILING – IS THAT A POSSIBILITY?

While far from ideal, we’re just pleased to be done so we can move away from deal points and start focusing on the races and the competition between the teams, which is what the Louis Vuitton Cup and America’s Cup is all about.”

UH, NO. THE AMERICA’S CUP IS ALL ABOUT THE GLORIFICATION OF LARRY ELLISON.

The new deal calls for the America’s Cup Event Authority to spend more and be reimbursed less.

AWW.

The deal re-instates Piers 30 and 32 as the potential location for the America’s Cup Team Bases, giving the race a central area for the teams and a ‘pit row’ for spectators. The fan access to Team Bases, combined with the America’s Cup Village at Piers 27/29 and the natural sailing amphitheater* of the Bay, will create one of the best live viewing experiences the sport has ever seen.

OH, WAIT, YOU FORGET THAT NOBODY GIVES A FUCK ABOUT THE AMERICA’S CUP. IT’S THAT ONE LITTLE THING THAT YOU ALL KEEP FORGETTING ABOUT.

For those not able to view the race in person, this Cup sees the return to live national television, with NBC Sports Group to broadcast over-the-air in the U.S. for the first time in more than 20 years.

BECAUSE YOU’RE PAYING NBC TO DO SO. NBC WOULD AIR FOOTAGE OF MY BIRTHDAY IF I PAID THEM ENOUGH MONEY.

“The broadcast interest is a reflection of the exciting venue, technological advancements of the boats, and, most importantly technological advances in cinematography that capture this race like never before,” said Barclay.

UH, NO, IT REFLECTS YOUR INTEREST IN PAYING NBC TO AIR YOUR PATHETIC EVENT. ADVANCEMENTS WHAT NOW? NOBODY CARES ABOUT THE RACE SO WHY DOES IT MATTER IF IT GETS “CAPTURED” OR NOT? AND WHY DID SAN DIEGO JUST SNORE THROUGH YOUR RECENT ACTIONS A FEW MONTHS BACK?

In 2013, the 34th America’s Cup is expected to generate over a billion dollars in economic benefits for San Francisco during the next two years and will draw millions of fans and spectators and more than 1,000 accredited news media for the races.

NOBODY EXPECTS THIS. NOT YOU OR ANYBODY AT CITY HALL.

The race will be sailed in the natural stadium** of the San Francisco Bay between the iconic Golden Gate Bridge and Alcatraz, running up and down the City waterfront. The Bay produces spectacular racing conditions with consistent, heavy winds, putting on shore spectators at the heart of the action. The race will be sailed in 45-foot-long catamarans, which feature towering wing-sails reaching 70 feet into the air.

WOW, 45 FEET? THAT’S NOT ALL THAT LONG, IS IT? AND THE BOATS WILL BE 70 FEET HIGH? I THINK YOU’RE CONFUSED ABOUT THE DIMENSIONS OF YOUR OWN DAMN BOATS, BUT WHATEVER. EVERYTHING ELSE YOU SAY IS WRONG SO WHY NOT THIS AS WELL?

About The America’s Cup World Series

New to the Cup this season is an additional series of races leading up to the Louis Vuitton Cup called the World Series Races. The America’s Cup World Series races will pit rival challenger skippers and their teams from France (Aleph and Energy Team); Sweden (Artemis Racing); England (Ben Ainslie Racing); China (China Team); Spain (Green Comm Racing); Italy (Luna Rossa Challenge); Korea (Team Korea), and New Zealand (Emirates Team Zealand). All will be vying to beat America’s Cup defender and ORACLE Racing-Team USA, led by the youngest skipper to ever win the America’s Cup, Jimmy Spithill.

UH, NOBODY CARES.

The America’s Cup World Series is focused on creating on-the-water excitement for both the teams and the fans, as the AC45 wing-sailed catamaran was designed for both speed and close racing. While capable of speeds of more than 35mph the AC45 remains nimble enough to handle the tight, tactical race courses that will be part of the San Francisco Bay competition between the rival teams.

UH, NOBODY CARES.

Now entering into the back-half of its inaugural season, the America’s Cup World Series will next land in Naples, Italy in April 7-15, followed by events in Venice, Italy (May) and finally the season-closer in Newport, Rhode Island (June) where the series champion will be crowned.

UH, NOBODY CARES.

The America’s Cup World Series racing allows the teams and their sailors to prepare for the Louis Vuitton Cup, July 4-September 1, 2013 in San Francisco, which will determine the sole challenger in the America’s Cup Final against ORACLE Racing, the defending America’s Cup champion. The America’s Cup Final will be held September 7-22, 2013 in San Francisco.

UH, NOBODY CARES.

*UH, I DON’T THINK YOU KNOW WHAT AN “AMPHITHEATRE” IS, JUST SAYING: “A natural amphitheatre is a performance space located in a spot where a steep mountain or a particular rock formation naturally amplifies or echoes sound, making it ideal for musical and theatrical performances. The term amphitheatre can also be used to describe naturally occurring formations which would be ideal for this purpose, even if no theatre has been constructed there. Notable natural amphitheatres include the Drakensberg amphitheatre inDrakensberg, South Africa, Slane Castle in Ireland, the Supernatural Amphitheatre in Victoria, Australia, and Echo amphitheatre, Red Rocks Amphitheatre and The Gorge Amphitheatre in the United States.”

** UH, NATATORIUM?

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The Unbearable Lightness of Being CW Nevius: Chronicle Writer Changes His Position on the America’s Cup Once Again

Thursday, February 9th, 2012

Let’s see here, remember back when when it took three months for San Francisco Chronicle writer CW Nevius to pull a 180 on the original America’s Cup deal? Leave us review:

CW Nevius, the bleating sheep of San Francisco’s Animal Farm, seems to have had a change of heart about Larry Ellison’s one and only offer for us to pay for his little boat party in a few years.

You see, back in the day, a way back in September 2010, Chuckles thought the idea of San Francisco losing nine figures for the right to host the next America’s Cup, the concept called the “Southern Waterfront” proposal, was:

“…a wonderful opportunity without a downside.”

But now, less than three months later, the very same exact proposal has become:

“…an irresponsible giveaway and bad for San Francisco.”

Remember that? (You see, at the time The Neve was trying to frame in high relief the differences between two different proposals so that was his technique. Either he’s stupid or he thinks his readers are stupid. Or both.)

Anyway, since then, the AC13 people took Chuckie on a boat ride for him to witness a staged catamaran crash near the Marina so then he became fully “on board” with this venture. Let’s call him cheerleader number one for this aquatic boondoggle.

Here’s his latest position. I don’t know. The Chuckinator is starting to sound conflicted, once again.

Oh, I know, why don’t we just call the whole thing off, why not? It would teach certain people a lesson and we wouldn’t be mortgaging San Francisco’s future to Larry fucking Ellison. Sounds like a win-win to me.

And hey, do you think that CW benefits personally from SF hosting the America’s Cup? I think he does, just as he’s personally benefited from eight(!) Olympiads.

Here we go:

“I would just add this. I covered eight Olympic Games. In nearly every case, there were huge problems with the host cities – bitter feelings, angry denunciations and threats of revenge. But on the day of the Opening Ceremony, all was forgiven.”

Really, all was forgiven? Really? Aren’t the people of Greece, for example, still suffering from the effects of the 1996 Olympics? I think so. Don’t you know that Chuckles?

The Olympics are corruption, simply stated. And America’s Cup is corruption. Same deal.

But at least people actually seem to be interested in the Olympics.

Oh well.

“The animals who inhabit the Manor Farm are mistreated and abused. The animals rebel and take over. Soon, however, the pigs (who represent the party bosses) begin to take special privileges for themselves, e.g. extra food. They enlist the farm’s dogs as enforcers to put down any dissent, and they teach the sheep to speak the party line on demand. At first, this is, “Four legs good, two legs bad”- animals (four legs) are good, humans (exploiters) are bad. As time passes, the Seven Commandments (Animal Farm’s Constitution) undergo subtle changes as the pigs rewrite it to suit their own agenda. When Boxer the horse (symbolizing blue-collar labor, the “workers,”) becomes too old to work, the pigs sell him to the horse butcher, whom they tell the other animals is really the veterinarian. The pigs eventually learn to walk on two legs, thus imitating the animals’ original exploiters, and they teach the sheep to bleat, “Four legs good, two legs better!”

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Saving Private Nevius: Spending Time Teaching CW Nevius How To Do His Job More Better – America’s Cup Fiasco

Friday, December 16th, 2011

Here it is:

S.F. vote on report big hurdle for America’s Cup

Go ahead, take a look.

Larry Ellison, the Neve’s latest bromance crush:

Click to expand

“Although the turnout… were disappointing, that won’t be the case with the finals when they arrive here in 2013.”

Uh, do you need a copy editor, Neve? (I know of about seven who is on the market as of yesterday, AAMOF.) Anyway, Jesus Tap-Dancing Christ, Nevius, how the frack do you know how the frack the gosh darn AC13 is going to turn out? Do you have a crystal ball? Or maybe you want to give readers the impression that everything’s going to work out? Why?

“At least that’s the expectation. This is supposed to be the America’s Cup that changes everything, from the venue, to the TV coverage, to the tactics of sailing. Barclay says these races will turn conventional wisdom on its head.”

Uh, promoters lie. That’s what promoters do, right? What just happened down in Fun Diego was a fucking disaster and people said, “Heads will roll.” And you know what, they were right. At least one head rolled, anyway, on Thanksgiving Eve 2011. Wasn’t he the CEO ‘n stuff? Do you know about that, Neve? No need to mention that though, is there, huh?

“Usually the fastest boat wins,” he said. “But this will be different because of the bay. The space is so confined and the boats are so fast (the 72-footers may reach 50 mph) there will be a lot of maneuvering. And multihull boats do not maneuver well. That means this will be a lot about sailing.”

Gee, you know, don’t you think that if Americans wanted to watch sailing a lot, then we’d already be doing it? What’s so great about sailing? Obviously, people don’t care to watch sailing so why should they? How will doing that improve their lives? And, uh, there’s no way these boats will go 50 MPH. Remember earlier about the lying, Neve? And isn’t it sort of ridiculous to host the America’s Cup in San Francisco Bay? Whose idea is this?

For those of us who do not have a clew (a nautical joke; a clew is the bottom corner of a sail), television will be the key. There are cameras on the boats, digital lines to mark the path, and real-time clocks to show how many seconds a boat is ahead or behind.

Oh, I get it, “clew!” HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA! Nevius, you so cray-cray! Hey, why don’t we put cameras on on WNBA players? And digital lines, ooh, how exciting! (Oh, the WNBA already has/had that.) And a “real time” clock too! (Oh, the WNBA already has/had that.)  And a scoreboard what tells how far ahead one team is. (Oh, the WNBA already has/had that.) But, oh, nobody wants to watch the WNBA. In that sense, it’s just like sailing. Take a look. They even have the pitchpoling incident that was staged on the bay just for you and the cameras to see, Neve. You realize that that was fake, right Neve? You know, so they could use that scene for their video opening over and over again? Even NASCAR doesn’t stage accidents.

But what you really need to do is see the boats up close. Even with the secrecy surrounding the teams, Barclay said they plan to host a few open houses for the public.

The secrecy is fake, nobody cares. But, oh, they’re going to have open houses? Again, the secrecy is fake, nobody cares. Oh, but you care, Neve? All right. Tell us again, Neve, tell us about your supr sekrt visit to the supr sekrt boat place!

You’ll be able to see what he calls “the little boats,” the 45-footers that raced in San Diego, the “shed” where the 72-footer is being built, and the mammoth 223-foot wing that powered the Oracle trimaran that won the 33rd America’s Cup in Spain. And yes, it is really true that when that wing is fitted to the boat, it reaches up too high to sail under the Golden Gate Bridge.

Think, Neve. You’re talking about a catamaran here. They could put that baby on one hull and slide right under the GGB no problem, why not? Anyway, nobody knows and nobody cares where freaking Larry Ellison last bought his America’s Cup trophy.

It will, all in all, be a mighty and impressive spectacle right here in our bay.

So, that’s your point but you haven’t supported it. In your world, Neve, San Diego was a failure, ergo San Francisco won’t be. Because, because why? Gavin Newsom did a crappy job representing the interests of San Francisco and then, surprise, he’s made honorary poohbah of the whole thing and you think that’s the greatest idea in the world.

Today the Cup preparations are racing downwind, hell-bent for glory. Let’s hope no submerged obstacles pop up.

Why should anybody care, Nevius?

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Will the Real CW Nevius Please Stand Up? How Chuck _Really_ Feels About America’s Cup 2013

Thursday, January 27th, 2011

All right, here’s the background, check it out all right, I’ll wait for you.

No, really, check it out. See how he just loooooved the first AC13 proposal last year, you know, until the second proposal came out? Then he hated the first proposal and somehow forgot how much he loved it just three months before.

Well, since then, we’ve gotten the third proposal, which, I imagine, is somewhere between the first two. (Supervisor Ross Mirkarimi is now looking into how much of the farm former Mayor Gavin Newsom gave away to seal the deal. Bon Courage, R.M.)

Anywho, C.W. Neviuseses’ part-time job of cheering for the powers the are will compel him to break out his pom poms and cheer for, over and over and over, the America’s Cup boat race over the coming months and years.

But make sure to keep in mind this old bit from CW from a half-decade back - it’s about the Olympics, but there’s little difference betwixt an Olympics coming to town and AC13, right? Events like these could be good for a city, of course, but usually they end up being bad, net net. Of course, there’s no way to know for sure ahead of time, right? (Usually, cities “win” a competition like this by not winning, IMO.) Anyway, it’s a nuance thing. It all depends on the deets of any particular deal.

So check it, nuance ‘n stuff from The Nevius:

“San Francisco organizers say much of the cost would be offset by existing facilities, and that’s a fine plan. But costs have a way of spiraling out of control.”

Of course, the Nevius could have reacted to the AC this way, but he didn’t.

Maybe he had more backbone back five years ago.

The bleating voices of the Nevii:

Oh well.

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What Does Former Sponsor BMW Know About the America’s Cup That San Francisco Doesn’t?

Tuesday, December 28th, 2010

Looks like BMW got out of the America’s Cup in the nick of time:

“On the design and engineering front, BMW engineers set new benchmarks in terms of intelligent lightweight design,” said Ralf Hussmann, General Manager BMW Sports Marketing and Brand Cooperation. “In winning the 33rd America’s Cup, we achieved all of our ambitious goals.*”

Let’s get a reading here:

Oh Larry, will you ever win?

*In response to your request for another dinner/movie, I’d just like to say that our evening at the Stonestown Olive Garden followed by that midnight showing of Harry Potter 7 set new benchmarks in terms of memorable evenings. You must agree that we’ve “achieved all of our ambitious goals,” so let’s see other people. Welcome to Dumpsville. Population: You.

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Posted in billionaires, cars, vessels | No Comments »

CW Nevius Moving Goalposts on the America’s Cup: From “Opportunity Without a Downside” to “Irresponsible Giveaway”

Tuesday, December 14th, 2010

CW Nevius, the bleating sheep of San Francisco’s Animal Farm, seems to have had a change of heart about Larry Ellison’s one and only offer for us to pay for his little boat party in a few years.

You see, back in the day, a way back in September 2010, Chuckles thought the idea of San Francisco losing nine figures for the right to host the next America’s Cup, the concept called the “Southern Waterfront” proposal, was:

“…a wonderful opportunity without a downside.”

But now, less than three months later, the very same, hai onaji Sensei, exact proposal has become:

“…an irresponsible giveaway and bad for San Francisco.”

Now you might think this 180 would give Chuckie a headache, but you’d be wrong. ‘Cause actually, he’s being consistent in a way. He’s consistently bleating and repeating the party line, on demand, just as he always does. And if the party line changes, well, that’s not his problem.

(And Nevemeister, for the record, Stephen Barclay is Larry Ellison. So, just as you’re a puppet of your masters, Chuck, Steve-o Barclay is the puppet of his master, King Larry Ellison. So if Barclay says something about the deal, it’s cause Ellison told him to, capich?)

Now, the way to play this good cop /bad cop game is to tell Stephen Barclay* to cram it with walnuts, ugly. Thusly.

Oh well.

“The animals who inhabit the Manor Farm are mistreated and abused. The animals rebel and take over. Soon, however, the pigs (who represent the party bosses) begin to take special privileges for themselves, e.g. extra food. They enlist the farm’s dogs as enforcers to put down any dissent, and they teach the sheep to speak the party line on demand. At first, this is, “Four legs good, two legs bad”- animals (four legs) are good, humans (exploiters) are bad. As time passes, the Seven Commandments (Animal Farm’s Constitution) undergo subtle changes as the pigs rewrite it to suit their own agenda. When Boxer the horse (symbolizing blue-collar labor, the “workers,”) becomes too old to work, the pigs sell him to the horse butcher, whom they tell the other animals is really the veterinarian. The pigs eventually learn to walk on two legs, thus imitating the animals’ original exploiters, and they teach the sheep to bleat, “Four legs good, two legs better!”

*Larry Ellison’s Sacrificial Lamb. “Oh, he said that, really? Wow, he’s always been a hothead. I should fire that guy, I really should…”

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Dear America’s Cup 2013: Please Kindly Go To Hell. Or Rhode Island, Europe, Whatever

Saturday, December 11th, 2010

Uh, what?

“Missing a chance to host the America’s Cup races would be a disaster for San Francisco’s image and economy*.”

O.K., I’ll bite. It would be a “disaster” because…

Because why?

Oh, what’s that, this month’s deal is better than last month’s – that’s the big selling feature? Really?

And the deadline just got pushed up to a week before Christmas as opposed to a week after?

Oh, O.K.

Hey, I wonder something…

Oh no, here come the Eurotrash on their kattumarams:

I wonder what the filing fee will be for the lawsuit that’s going to tear this (hastily-built) playhouse down pretty soon?

Oh, $395, is that the price?

O.K. Gee, that’s not too much.

Or, you can take your burdensome boat party to R.I., Larry. Maybe they’ll pay you for the “privilege.”

*When you say 9000 jobs, I’m thinking you mean 9000 gigs, right? A bit of a difference, non?

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Posted in crime | 1 Comment »