It’s a Mathemagician!
Or a Mathlete.
Bike thievery is an occupation in San Francisco, America’s Capital of Bike Thieves, East of Manhattan.
The wheels and the handlebar are gone, but there are a lot of pieces I could use in my junk drawer.
And this rig isn’t even locked up.
IMO, it would be kosher to harvest this ride, to profit, in a way, from bike thievery…
I’ll tell you, I actually got around to watching that five-minute clip from the Today Show about bike thieves in the West Coast Capital of Bike Thievery, San Francisco.
And I says, “1729, huh?” You see, that was the street address on the front door that that Today Show guy knocked on. And they showed the street itself, so I guessed a 94124 zip code and then excluded the first two hits (1729 Geneva and 1729 Sunnydale because they both didn’t make sense) by making this Google search: “-Geneva -Sunnydale 94124 1729 .”
And, lo, up pops 1729 McKinnon in the Lower Third:
It’s sort of funny how the bike thief made a bee-line to the Thieves Market at Civic Center – that’s what you could see when they showed the GPS track. Anyway, the next stop was a shed in the Bayview.
SF, you have a problem with bike theft – deal with it. Like, it’s national news, literally.
And look, it’s from the people who brought us The Club, back in the 1980′s.
As seen in the projects near City Hall attached to an old Honda
Click to expand
I’ve never seen this before, Gentle Reader!
This is redolent of the home-made “NO RADIO” signs you used to see in cars in SoMA back in the 1990′s…
As seen on Fell Street, San Francisco, 2014 – Ed Lee, Mayor:
Click to expand
Note the listing of dates of prior break-ins…
Upshift is here, or at least it’s here in the Russian Hill and Nob Hill areas.
Here’s how it works:
“1. TAP A BUTTON – Anywhere in San Francisco. Get a car for the day with one tap. It’s that easy.
2. GET A CAR DELIVERED – Get a Small, Medium, Large, or Luxury vehicle delivered in 60 minutes. You drive it for the day & our driver rides off on a bike! Introductory rates from $49/day.
3. LEAVE IT ANYWHERE – Drop it off wherever you like in the city. We’ll come pick it up. That’s it. You’re done.”
So your rent-a-car will arrive double-parked at your front door with a green Bianchi or whatever on top and an inner-city sweathog inside. The Upshifter will simply hand you the keys and then pedal away.
(I’ll note that bicycle theft is an issue in San Francisco, just saying. Who’ll be the first Upshifter to lose his/her ride?)
All right, all the deets:
“Upshift is an exclusive, members only car club. Get the freedom of owning a private car with the luxury and convenience of a car service. Push a button, get a hybrid, SUV, or luxury car delivered. You drive it for a day. We pick it up when you’re done. No need to return to the same location as long as it’s in our zone (includes all of the core areas of San Francisco). We professionally operate a fleet of cars out of a single garage. Cars can only be taken out by the day only to start. Subscription pricing and recurrent bookings (eg, deliver a car every Tuesday at 7 am) for regular usage needs. The main limitation of carshare today is parking, not vehicle cost.”
Founded by Ezra Goldman. Who’s that?
Upshift makes getting out of town easy. Just push a button on your phone, get a car for the day delivered to your door, and get out of town. We’ll pick it up again anywhere in the city when you’re done, even at a different location from where we delivered, enabling a “one way” service. Payment is all done through your Upshift account, with no cash or card transactions and no paperwork.
Your next car fits in your pocket. And someday, it will drive itself to your door.
Upshift provides club members great cars on demand at the push of a button. We’ll pick up and drop off anywhere in the city- even in two different locations for one way service. Upshift provides more convenience and flexibility than car leasing with less cost, commitment and hassle.
We have spent over 2 years developing the model and getting backing from the world’s best carshare, autotech, and insurance experts around the world. Carsharing takes 9-13 cars off the road for each car we put on the road, unlocking new park space for more livable cities. We enable a transition to a car-free urban lifestyle, taking 1M cars off the streets, to save 10B pounds of CO2 per year by disrupting the car leasing market.
Well, welcome to town, Upshift.
So yeah, the chain and the padlock worked, but you’re going to need some way of keeping the wheels attached, when the freaks come out, at night.
Click to expand
In mitigation, this ride wasn’t all that expensive to begin with…
Lesson: You Gotta Lock That Down