Physical graffiti, the worst kind:
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Physical graffiti, the worst kind:
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From Bauhaus to our house:
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“At Yale the students generally began to notice that everything they designed, everything the faculty members designed, everything the visiting critics (who gave critiques of the students) designed…started to look the same. Everyone designed the same box…of glass…and steel and concrete, with tiny beige bricks substituted occasionally. This came to be known as the Yale Box.”
Apparently, there aren’t enough printing presses available in the Bay Area to keep up with the enormous demand the public has for “The Real Ed Lee – The Untold, Untold, Story.”
(Uh…, moving on.)
Anyway, the upshot is that now you can see the text online in a searchable format. See below.
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“The book goes through the details of how Lee rose through the ranks at City Hall, along the way approving a couple of fraudulent vendors and getting caught up in Willie Brown’s sleaze. It discusses how his campaign is taking credit for other people’s work and ideas. It describes how he promised over an over not to run, then went ahead and did it anyway. It’s got a great picture of him steering a 139-foot yacht with the caption “I’m on a boat.”
(Nice link there, Tim Redmond – I hadn’t made the connection.)
All the deets:
“The Untold, Untold Story” Goes Online - Leland Yee campaign can’t print “The Real Ed Lee” book fast enough for demand
SAN FRANCISCO – The reviews are in and the “The Real Ed Lee: The Untold, Untold Story” is a smash hit!
Has a serious political point, but it’s actually funny, sometimes really funny, and it’s much easier to read than the plodding “Ed-Is-Greater-Than-God” prose of the original…. For once, we have a campaign piece that made me laugh instead of crying. - San Francisco Bay Guardian
OMG, A new best seller to be! – Some guy on the internet
Everyone is talking about it! – SFist
The 55-page parody shows Lee on the cover as downcast, grumpy and triple-chinned. The book recounts dozens of previously published stories detailing everything from the two district attorney investigations into alleged ethics violations by his supporters and alleged cronyism. – San Francisco Chronicle
The 56-page booklet is heavily footnoted with URLs – The Bay Citizen
I totally LOL’ed – The San Francisco Citizen
((*sound of crickets*)) – Interim Mayor Ed Lee
The slim volume oozes sarcasm as it covers the history of Ed Lee’s tenure as mayor, including his promise to not run for a full term and charges of inappropriate campaign donations from contractors. - San Francisco Examiner
This is the first “hit” recipe in political history. - Eric Jaye
Less than three-months hence, Lee’s campaign is beset by multiple criminal investigations into alleged campaign money laundering, ballot tampering and other campaign election violations. – Fog City Journal
[Ed Lee staff] were pretty disgusted by it. – Tony Winnicker
Painstakingly put together to resemble the original propaganda mailer to the smallest detail. The type fonts are identical. The jaunty writing style is mocked all too well. – SF Weekly
The Leland Yee for Mayor campaign has already distributed thousands of “The Real Ed Lee: The Untold, Untold Story” to voters throughout San Francisco, however, the demand for the book has been so great that today Yee’s campaign launched the book online at http://www.lelandyee.com/the-
“We can’t print the books fast enough,” said Jim Stearns, Yee’s campaign manager. “Now that it is online every San Franciscan will have the opportunity to read this accurate account of our interim mayor and be able to compare his tarnished and corruption-filled record to Leland Yee’s 23 years of leadership and experience fighting for our community, especially seniors, students, and the most vulnerable.”
“The Real Ed Lee: The Untold, Untold Story” is a response to a book produced by one Ed Lee’s billionaire IE committees, which falsely glorified the interim mayor and ignored the multiple scandals and ethics violations of his campaign. The highlights of “The Real Ed Lee: The Untold, Untold Story” include Lee becoming interim mayor on false pretenses, his approval of fraudulent contracts, giving “golden parachutes, embracing cronyism, failure to follow ethics laws, illegal campaign contributions, money laundering (well, the first time), voter fraud, and the city’s future if Ed Lee were elected. The book also includes “Willie [Brown] & Rose’s [Pak] ‘No Longer Secret’ Make-A-Mayor Recipe.”
By comparison, Leland Yee has released several detailed plans on job creation, environmental protection, transportation, and schools. Maybe the most important of his plans – “An Independent City Hall” – would clean up City Hall, bring real transparency and accountability, kick out the powerbrokers, and return our local government to the people. To read Yee’s plan, visit http://www.lelandyee.com/
You remember this?
Well, now it’s time to read the whole thing without you having to leave your iPad or whatever.
It’s courtesy of the ever-resourceful Bluoz.
Here’s just one page:
Via Bluoz – click to expand
(Remember that one from former Mayor Gavin Newsom? “You’re not just changing your mind. You’re breaking a promise to these people.” That was just 2.5 months ago. Oh well.)
All right, enjoy!
“…& Call for Positive Campaigns in Last 8 Days Before Election Day.”
Whew! That was the title of yesterday’s Ed Lee Campaign presser in Chinatown yesterday.
So basically, Senator Leland Yee sucks because his campaign released this yesterday.* Oh, and there was something about the City College campus, but I’m not sure exactly what the beef against Leland is about that.
And there was this – a call for mayoral candidates to “put out facts and not opinion,” but I’ll tell you, that book was chock-a-block full of facts, actually. And it had 107 endnotes to boot.
And let’s see here, oh, suggesting that City Family member Mohammed Nuru has issues, well, thems is fighting words, partner. Even though, well, you know.**
It looked like this:
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Apparently, if you find anything at all wrong with San Francisco since the current administration began in 1996, if you think that there’s anything that could be improved, you’re a “hater.” Quoth mayoral spokesmodel Tony Winnicker:
“This one goes out to all my
#sfmayor #haters! Keep ‘em coming, we got ur number. Lee’s opponents go nonstop negative: http://www.sfgate.com/cgi-bin/article.cgi?f=/c/a/2011/10/30/BALG1LJNSD.DTL“
But argumentum ad hominem coming from Tony hisself doesn’t make Tony a hater, no, not at all. (Somehow this makes sense.)
*There was a big fuss about the distribution of the Untold, Untold Story book on Sunday, but it had pretty much died down by the time this news conference was beginning.
**All right, play us off, Fog City Journal:
“Nuru, who was first hired by Lee during the administration of former Mayor Willie Brown, was the subject of a series of ethical scandals involving the misappropriation of public funds for personal uses, retaliatory threats against whisteblowers as well as directing city contractors to engage in illegal political activities while they were being paid with public funds, Herrera states:
“Herrera’s office conducted an investigation in 2004 into the San Francisco League of Urban Gardeners, or “SLUG,” the city-funded nonprofit Nuru headed from 1994 to 2000, in the midst of a series of San Francisco Chronicle news reports about potentially illegal electioneering activities. Nuru maintained close working ties to SLUG after going to work for Lee in 2001, according to witnesses, and also oversaw SLUG’s $1 million-per-year street-cleaning contract with DPW. The City Attorney investigation found that while at DPW, Nuru directed SLUG employees who were paid with city funds to conduct campaign activities in the 2003 municipal and runoff elections for Mayor and District Attorney—in clear violation of local law prohibiting city-funded nonprofits from using those funds to campaign for candidates or ballot measures. Witnesses also testified that Nuru had instructed city-funded SLUG workers to engage in similar campaign activities while he served as SLUG’s executive director, for a 1997 ballot measure backed by then-Mayor Willie Brown, and for his 1999 re-election campaign.
Following the 2004 City Attorney investigation, an audit by then-San Francisco City Controller Ed Harrington found a raft of financial improprieties involving SLUG and DPW. The Controller’s review revealed that SLUG mismanaged city grants and contracts, and was overpaid by city departments, including DPW, an amount totaling nearly $72,000. The audit additionally found that SLUG failed to pay more than $643,003 in payroll taxes, and that DPW improperly used SLUG’s contract with Public Works to purchase a $62,508 portable building for DPW’s use. Though Lee reportedly instructed Nuru to conduct no further business with SLUG, neither the 2004 City Attorney’s investigation report nor the similarly damning City Controller audit appears to have resulted in disciplinary action against Nuru at DPW. SLUG was formally debarred from city contracts for two years for violating Section 12G.1 of the San Francisco Administrative Code, which prohibits city funded organizations from using any of those funds to participate in, support, or attempt to influence a political campaign. The organization is now defunct.
Conspicuously absent from last week’s announcement that Mohammed Nuru would take over as DPW’s acting director effective Aug. 15 was interim Mayor Ed Lee. Though the appointment was announced in a written statement from the acting City Administrator, such appointments require “the concurrence of the Mayor,” according to San Francisco City Charter, § 3.104. A report noted that while Nuru’s salary was not finalized, his predecessor’s annual salary was $204,750. Nuru’s most recent previous annual salary as DPW’s Deputy Director of Operations was $193,000.”
Well, here it is, something that just popped up on my porch/lobby this AM (and on Jerold Chinn’s too), complete with smiley-faced Post-It Note.
I totally LOL’ed when I first saw this:
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Which do you prefer?
Table of Contents for The Real Ed Lee Story, complete with Willie & Roses’s “No Longer Secret” Make-a-Mayor Recipe* (which riffs on this):
“I can’t say no to Willie and Rose”
That comes from this zinger by Board of Supervisors President David Chiu:
“So Ed, about a week or two before you told the world that you wanted to — that you were considering — running for mayor, you told me that you had looked at yourself in the mirror, you didn’t have the fire in the belly, you didn’t want to run, but that you were having trouble saying ‘no’ to Willie Brown and Rose Pak,”
“I’m on a boat!”
The back cover of the original and the parody:
Complete with the necessary disclosures:
Of course this new campaign book was composed as a reply to The Ed Lee Story – An Unexpected Mayor, which was written by:
“…a mid-level hack funded by a shadowy pop-up group backed by experienced political sharks.”
On It Goes…
How do you make a Mayor? Here’s the “no longer secret” recipe created by Chinatown powerbroker Rose Pak and former Mayor Willie L. Brown.
Serves: 4-8 years
1 “dormant” political machine
980 lbs. of powerbrokers (preferably a mix of former mayors, unregistered lobbyists, corporate hacks and Chinatown mavens)
1 Board of Supervisors President with mayoral ambitions
1 exiting mayor looking to payback his friends for years of service
2 parts flip-flopped Bevan Dufty
49 yards of wool (to cover people’s eyes)
The will of the people (“once in a while, if budget allows”)
1. VERY IMPORTANT: Mix all contents together in a back room; if any part of the mixture is exposed to sunshine it will be ruined.
2. Pour mixture into an empty vessel – any loyal bureaucrat will do. He doesn’t even need to be in the country.
3. Make a promise…and then break it. Very gently!
4. Voilá! A Mayor is made.
5. Be sure to keep your mayor on a tight leash. Do not allow them to have any open conversations with press or voters without being heavily scripted.
6. We recommend immediately hiring a posse of high-paid consultants and bodyguards to accompany your mayor at all times.
For true make-a-mayor aficionados, Rose & Willie swear that the second term is packed full of even bigger sweetheart deals!
[UPDATE: Looks like the opt-in theory is dead, as Jesse Mullan of Fine Internets reports that The Ed Lee Story: An Unexpected Mayor was actually delivered to candidate Dennis Herrera's house. How wude!]
Now of course there’s a First Amendment issue about telephone book companies being banned from delivering useless telephone books willy-nilly to the residents of San Francisco, but that’s not stopping us from trying to stop delivery of useless telephone books.
Here’s the sitch as it is right now in the Richmond:
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Oh here’s another a few houses over – Ed’s waiting for you to come home!
The copies I saw strewn about are just like the books what come around every so often, pretty much. I mean, these aren’t campaign fliers, they’re full-on paperback books with 132 pages each.
Anyway, each Ed Lee for Mayor book had a Post-It Note what said, “Hope you enjoy the book. Vote ED! :)” ad naseum, all in identical girlish handwriting.
(So that’s what those high school students are being “organized” to do for $11 per hour? O.K. fine, but can you imagine the typical high school student writing thousands of Post It Notes to support the conservative, pro-business candidate?)
You’ll find a slightly different message on the copies that are showing up in the “Free, Take One” remainder bins across town – “We love you,” they say.
It’s safe at this point to mention that the printer made too many copies, I think, that somebody overestimated demand for this tome.
If only there were a place we could send all these unwanted books.
I wonder if they’re recyclable?
[UPDATE: Sadly, "[t]his posting has been flagged for removal.” Man, it’s like Fake Rose Pak‘s Twitter account all over again…]
"Meet at the Chinese Chamber of Commerce where hostess Rose Pak will accept $25,000 checks on behalf of Ed Lee. And then we'll read "The Ed Lee Story" book from cover to cover - all 132 pages, plus footnotes. Rose Pak will serve Ed Lee's "No-Longer Secret" Poongaloong Recipe (page 106) for hungry attendees for an extra $1,000 per serving."]
Give me just five guesses and I’ll tell you who posted this recent craigslist ad. I’ll tell you exactly where the suspects hang out (in the daytime anyway, generally at the HQ’s of the campaigns where they are employed) so it’ll be easy for you to drop by to interrogate them.
Is posting this ad an act of catharsis, or is it a way to sway voters, or a little of both? You Make The Call.
Anyway, here it is:
Boy, Rose Pak must be the least popular person in the 415, at least that’s what pollsters seem to think. BTW, where is Rose these days, you know, after her leg injury? Is she under house arrest, kept under wraps until after Election Day? Hmmmmm…
The landmark book “The Ed Lee Story: An Unexpected Mayor” is already recognized as a classic, definitive political work of fiction. Wildly expected to be a contender for next year’s Pulitzer Prize for Fiction, “The Ed Lee Story” is a loosely fictionalized account of the life of appointed Mayor Ed Lee, who rose to political prominence based on a flat out lie. This 132-page epic tome, ghost written by ethically challenged author Enrique Pearce and funded by corrupt money from Rose Pak, presents Ed Lee as a common man yet only reinforces the notion that Ed Lee and his supporters are full of hubris.
“The Ed Lee Story” is for sale for a minimum bid of $75,000. Corporate interests like Recology, Go Lorrie’s Airport Shuttle, & PG&E are welcome to bid. Unregistered lobbyists can use special discount code SHADYMONEY to get 10% off the book.
Chapters in “The Ed Lee Story”:
Chapter 1: Inauguration Day: WTF?
Chapter 2: The Mayor Who Rolled Up Rose Pak’s Sleeves
Chapter 3: Crunching My Donors’ Numbers
Chapter 4: Humble Beginnings To Inflated Ego
Chapter 5: A Fledgling Bureaucrat Meets A Political Opportunity
Chapter 6: Called To Serve Recology & PG&E
Chapter 7: From Appointed Mayor to Liar
Chapter 8: San Francisco’s Future: Rose Pak-Style
Read the Early Book Reviews:
“This book was clearly not illegally coordinated with Ed Lee and his campaign. Clearly. All those personal photos, stories, and access to people didn’t come from the Ed Lee and his campaign. Really. They didn’t.” – The New York Times Book Review
“This book was better than Twilight. After finishing this book, readers will likely decide they’re no longer Team Edward or Team Jacob, but they’ll be with Team Ed, uh, we mean Team Rose.” – Boston Review
“Our only disappointment was that we wanted to read a chapter describing how Ed Lee parted the Red Sea and walked on water.” – San Francisco Chronicle Book Reviews”
it’s NOT ok to contact this poster with services or other commercial interests
Market Street is playing host to the return of Jenna Elfman to San Francisco these days. She starred in Dharma and Greg on the TV back in the 90′s and the oughts, so she’s what people think about when they think of San Francisco and Haight-Ashbury and hippies and whatnot.
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And she’s Yet Another Scientologist, did not know that. She’s part of a decades-long attempt to normalize Scientology as Your Next Religion. (This bus shelter ad is as much about that effort as selling Flip cameras, actually.)
You see, that’s how they roll Down Hollywood Way.
So, mommas, don’t let your daughters grow up to be 5’10″ ZZ Top or Depeche Mode video models:
That’s your Lesson Of The Day.