Posts Tagged ‘sucks’

The Perils of Electric Moped / Scooter / Bike Ownership – A2B “Bicycles” are Back in Business

Thursday, May 30th, 2013

I think I saw an ad for these A2B bikes just today in the SF Weekly.

They were never very popular but I did my best to discourage purchases, to the dismay of the Ultra Motors people.

These days, Ultra Motors is gone but A2B bikes are making a comeback aided by more realistic pricing.

Thusly, as seen with a flat tire:

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IMO, you’re better off with a regular bike, one with puncture resistant tires and theft-hardened parts.

But that’s just me.

Ashton Kutcher and that Horrible San Francisco-Based PopChips Company Make the 2012 Fineman PR Blunder List

Monday, December 17th, 2012

All the deets are right here, at FinemanPR.

And there’s a little background on this after the jump.

Ashton, you’re not funny – try something else.

Ashton, your entourage (and also all the Pop Chips people) were afraid to tell you that your skits were not even remotely entertaining. What else didn’t they / don’t they tell you?

Oh, and the reviews are in:

God, Popchips are awful. The flavors suck.”

Popchips SUCK! I can believe I let you weiners influence me into buying a bag of that collossal garbage.”

(more…)

Pop Chips Snacks are Bad for You – Don’t Eat PopChips – Here’s Why You Should Avoid This Company’s Products

Thursday, May 10th, 2012

That Popchips company thinks it’s funny to have dull-witted spokesmodel / dull-witted investor Ashton Kutcher* do some free YouTube videos only to take them down if they prove too controversial.

All right, Popchips, here’s the thing: The problem with the video wasn’t that it was “controversial.”

The problem was that it was stupid.

Oh, and not funny.

Not funny at all.

Did you all think enough to say something, Popchips people? Something like, “Yeah, Ashton, we know you want to do these videos, but they’re not good.” Oh, you all just thought that, but you didn’t want to actually say anything at the time? Well that’s just not going to fly.

N0w let’s hear from people who actually tried eating the product that Ashton Kutchner wants to make money from:

God, Popchips are awful. The flavors suck.”

Popchips SUCK! I can believe I let you weiners influence me into buying a bag of that collossal garbage.”

And if newfangled Popchips turn out to cause cancer, then you the consumer just might end up dead from buying something that made dull-witted spokesmodel / dull-witted Popchips investor*** Ashton Kutcher ever so slightly richer.

You wouldn’t want that, would you?

*He reminds me of our similarly dull-witted former Mayor Gavin Newsom, for some reason.** Hey, whatever happened to that guy?

**Oh, maybe it was the Fiji Water I was reminded of. Our former Mayor just loved his Fiji Water, of course. I could totally see Gavin becoming a dull-witted spokesmodel / dull-witted investor / Brand Ambassador for the Fiji Water.

***Back in the day, famous actor O.J. Simpson similarly invested in HoneyBaked Ham. You know, because he liked the company. But OJ had the sense to not do stupid commercials for Honeybaked. 

A Setback for SFPark Parking Meter Expansion: SFMTA Relents – No New Meters in Mission Bay for Now

Wednesday, January 25th, 2012

Jesse Mullan of the Dogpatch Howler has the deets of the remission of SFMTA’s parking-meters-solve-everything expansion. It appears Operation Barbarossa is bogging down this winter due to heavy assault from the Proles.

Per the crappy SFMTA’s Jay Primus:

“I am writing with a brief update on the parking management proposals for the Mission Bay, 12th & Folsom, and 17th & Folsom areas.

The SFMTA Board will no longer be taking action on the SFpark expansion areas at the February 7th Board meeting. Rather, we will conduct further outreach ahead of Board action.

The northernmost section of the Mission Bay Parking Management Proposal was already designated as an SFpark area and will be the only part of the proposal going forward.

For the SFpark expansion areas, including the Dogpatch and Potrero Hill neighborhoods and the 12th and Folsom and 17th and Folsom proposals, the SFMTA will conduct additional outreach and engage in further discussion with various stakeholders before any further action is considered.”

So, that’s their way of saying no parking meters for now.

Doesn’t the SFMTA know by now that it sucks? It’s hard to tell. Sometimes it seems that the SFMTA thinks it’s not dysfunctional. Isn’t that funny?

Speaking of funny, let’s let Jess Mullan spank the SFMTA over all the bullcrap it spews about SFPark.

O.K. then.

That Horrible Ultra Motor Ltd Company is Still Around, Still Selling Their Crummy A2B Electric Scooters

Thursday, June 9th, 2011

Now don’t get me wrong, I think test-driving an A2B electric scooter in Golden Gate Park can be fun, but the problem is that these rigs don’t really make sense for the vast majority of people, that’s the problem.

Anyway, this is the past weekend in GGP here…

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…and this below is from the past.

Sometimes you spend money on an idea and it doesn’t work out.

Oh well.

Well well, has it really been a half-year since an example of the ridiculous, overweight and overpriced A2B electric bike / moped thing has been spotted on the Streets of San Francisco? Yes.

Here’s the one sighted yesterday. It’s a rental of course, but actually, that’s not a bad thing. Assuming you don’t run out of juice, renting an A2B for 69 bones doesn’t appear to be a bad way to spend a day exploring the 415 . You could easily haul on over to Sausalito (remembering to pretend to pedal – the Golden Gate Bridge people actually require this) and back without breaking a sweat.

See?

(Take care it doesn’t get stolen, though, else they’ll charge your credit card an arm and a leg.)

O.K. then.

Now I’ll tell you, most of the people who comment about the posts made about the A2B on this website actually work (or worked) for Ultra Motor.

For example, here’s a bit from Ultra Motor Co-Founder and President Jon Bowman from earlier this year:

“Wow. You really have nothing better to do than attack what appears to be a good idea and an innovative product.”

Does that make sense? He’s berating me for criticising one of his P.O.S. products from the standpoint of someone who doesn’t work for Ultra Motor, yet he works for Ultra Motor. (Reminds me of when people at the San Francisco Chronicle Newspaper would make comments on SFist claiming to work full-time for MUNI or something. They weren’t really fooling anybody…)

Anyway, a newer product Ultra Motor has is called the Excel and it’s being marketed as a $5000 electric scooter. O.K., if it makes you happy.

The big problem with all these bikes is that they don’t sell. The fact that you have to fork over $2200 plus tax, minimum, to buy one (unless you get a deal through Craigslist ) is merely the first problem. It’s not the only problem, not at all. (Now, they have this newer model, the Velocity (Velociti?) but I ain’t never seen one of those – maybe it’s closer to being an actual electric bike…)

Oh well. Even the people who like these things don’t really like these things.

If you want an electric bike, get a Trek or something else.

The Mean Streets of San Francisco are No Place for an Ultra Motor A2B Electric Scooter Moped Bicycle Thing

Thursday, May 12th, 2011

Maybe it was a chuckhole or maybe it was going around the open car door and onto the train tracks that caused this fellow to take a tumble on his crappy Ultra Motor A2B electric moped on Market Street yesterday.

You see, them wheels is too small – it’s a styling thing, apparently:

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You know, on their website they tell you everything but how much these contraptions cost…*

*Too much**

**A-waaaaaaaaay too much. Oh well.

Bicycle Trilogy: This Fellow Actually Bought an A2B Electric Bike – They’re Aren’t Too Many Like Him

Tuesday, April 5th, 2011

I’m not sure if a Segway scooter sighting is rarer than an A2B electric bike / scooter sighting on the Streets of San Francisco.

The sales of both haven’t met expectations, I’d imagine.

Anyway, count this guy as an A2B True Believer:

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For one

Family Portrait: Old Bridge, Old Bridge, New Bridge – America Still Laughing at Us – “Mike (Still) Sucks Big Titties”

Monday, February 7th, 2011

Let’s see here, can you spot the PG&E Tower of our Golden Gate Bridge in the lower left? Good, now check out vertical elements of our old and new San Francisco Oakland Bay Bridges.

Not much has changed with the poorly-managed 1989 Loma Prieta Earthquake-related fix-up job that’s due to finish up sometime this decade, so there’s no reason to think that America isn’t still laughing at us.

Of course you should try to not to stare at the new ornamental tower when you are cruising by on the temporary S-curve. Safety First, right? Anyway, it’s a little higher now. See?

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And, of course, Mike still sucks big titties.

That’s your Bay Bridge update for 2011.

Experienced MUNI Riders Know Enough to Bring Along a Folding Chair – The SFMTA Just Keeps Getting Worse and Worse…

Friday, December 10th, 2010

Thusly.

Carrying a folding chair around is like having your own private bus stop:

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This putative passenger knows where the next bus will stop, but not when. Oh well.

Keep smilin’ thru, MUNI riders!

We’ll meet again
Do know where
Don’t know when
But I know
We’ll meet again
Some sunny day

Keep smilin’ thru
Just like you
Always do
‘Til the blue skies drive
The current administration
Far away

Crappy “Bauer’s ‘Intelligent’ Transportation” Update: “Upgrades” Wedding Limo to Corporate Van – Gets Sued by S.F. Bride

Thursday, December 9th, 2010

Let’s just say that long-time Yelper Rosie S is not a fan of Bauer’s Limousine / Bauer’s Transportation / Bauer’s Intelligent Transportation. Why? Well, ’cause they sent a tacky van instead of a proper limo to her wedding a few months back. Check the excerpts:

The 10 passenger limo I ordered did NOT arrive. Instead, they sent us a VAN! The morning of my wedding. Not what I ordered.

I contacted the company when I returned from my honeymoon–note: they NEVER contacted me to explain the situation nor to apologize–and they said:

“I have checked with our operations department as to what happened this day and it appears there had been a mechanical issue with a regular stretch limo so they made the last minute decision to upgrade the vehicle to a limousine van.  This was our next best option at the moment.  I sincerely apologize that a regular stretch did not appear, but this was viewed as a free upgrade to the original vehicle reserved.”

Horrendous company, terrible service, awful fleet of cars if they have seemingly frequent “mechanical issues.”  Do yourself a favor and STAY AWAY FROM BAUER’S unless you want to get ripped off and disappointed!  Especially on your wedding day….

Can you believe that? Now, if I were running a crappy limo / transportation / “intelligent” transportation company, I’d feel bad about my fail whale exploding all over a wedding and I’d apologize and then I’d give a full refund, but that’s just me.

Now, speaking of crappy, how about them Bauer limousine van / bus / whatever drivers on the 101?

Speeding? Sure, we’ve got to get you to the church (or wherever) on time! But signaling? Not so much. You see, there’s no money in signaling:

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Rosie says that the Bauer people didn’t respond to her until after she filed suit in San Francisco Superior Court, Small Claims Division. Oh well.

Now, judges might be sympathetic to plaintiffs in a situation like this, but you never know how they’d rule. Sometimes what’s in the contract is what matters and sometimes not so much. Oh well.

But I believe the gist of Rosie’s story – I don’t think that she’s committing Yelp fraud, I don’t think that she owns a rival cheesy “intelligent” transportation company or that she’s sponsored by one.

Speaking of which, there’s somebody on Yelp saying how great Bauer’s is but he neglected to add in or update the little tidbit that Bauer’s is a “sponsor” of his. Oh well. I’ll give you one guess how many Yelp stars he gives to Bauer’s IT.

Did you guess cinco?

You’re right, mi amiga/o. (And actually, it appears that purported “Luminary” and “City Bright” writer at the San Francsico Chronicle’s SFGate.com Zenophon / Zennie62 is incapable of ever giving anything less than five stars on Yelp. How sporting!)

Anyway, good luck Rosie!