Now, let’s not ban surfing or kite-boarding or whathaveyou.
And oh, what about wading? Yes, that’s banned as well. How about above-the-knees as a demarcation betwixt wading and merely getting you feet wet.
Won’t the Feds need to be involved? Yes, sure, red tape, laws ‘n stuff – we could get around this if we tried, if we put our minds to it.
Won’t people violate the law? Sure, but that’s not the point. The point is that if sharks were eating people along this small stretch of beach every two, three, four, five, six months, like clockwork since forever, well, that would be international news. But when people die time and again, it’s like no big whoop.
Hey, do you know why we don’t have Baywatch-style lifeguard towers at Ocean Beach? Well, ’cause of the money, but also because the existence of the towers would send the message that swimming at Ocean Beach, and we don’t want to do that, right?
So we have these white pickups going back and forth, occasionally:
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So instead of the signage we have now in all those languages, after swimming gets banned we’ll have signs that simply say “SWIMMING BANNED” or whatever else it takes to get the message across.
Hey, you know what we’ve got that the visitors don’t got? We’ve got the lore, we’ve got the knowledge about this innocuous-appearing place being dangerous.
That means the onus is upon us.