Posts Tagged ‘tennessee’

Jerry Brown Throws Down: Organic Cigarettes Might Not Be a Healthy Choice for You

Monday, March 1st, 2010

Our California Attorney General Jerry Brown can’t abide you smokers out there thinkingorganic” cigarettes from American Spirit are better for you than other cigarettes. So he just cut a deal with the Santa Fe Natural Tobacco Company affacting how these ciggies will get marketed in California. Deets below.

Anyway, an appealing package, IMO:

The deets:

Brown Secures Agreement with American Spirit Cigarettes Maker over Misleading Marketing of Organic Tobacco Products

Los Angeles-Attorney General Edmund G. Brown Jr. today announced that his office has secured an agreement with Santa Fe Natural Tobacco Company, Inc., the manufacturer of American Spirit tobacco products, that requires the company to clearly disclose that its organic tobacco is “no safer or healthier” than other tobacco products.

Attorneys general from 32 other states and the District of Columbia signed onto today’s agreement.

Stamping an organic label on tobacco products is ultimately a distinction without a difference-organic or not, cigarettes are bad for your health,” Brown said. “Today’s settlement with Santa Fe Natural Tobacco Company ensures that all future advertisements make it clear that organic tobacco is no safer or healthier.”

Jerry Brown, automático para la gente:

More deets after the jump.

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Al Gore to be Encased in Carbonite Upon Death – The Future of Carbon Sequestration

Monday, May 19th, 2008

Full-service public relations and public affairs consultancy Hill and Knowltonannounced today that former vice president Al Gore, upon his death, will be encased in carbonite and then buried. This type of carbon capture and sequestration (CCS) was only made possible this year through the use of nanotechnology.

Until recently this was our understanding of carbonite, made famous in Star Wars V – The Empire Strikes Back:

“By the rules of chemical nomenclature, the formula for a “carbonite anion” would be CO22-, which is thought to be an impossible formation (methanoate being preferentially formed instead).”

Impossible no longer.

Artist’s conception of the former vice president encased in the densest form of carbon known to man:

carbonite1.jpg

Just one treatment of this double carbon material will take the equivalent of 1200 metric tonnes of carbon dioxide out of the atmosphere. The only downside will be the expense of a slightly oversized coffin. The upside is that Al Gore, Jr. will be the most severely carbon negative person in recorded history.

A relieved Hill & Knowlton spokesperson confided to one reporter that this announcement will lay to rest the controversy over the greenhouse emissions of Al Gore’s house, for some reason an issue of almost daily concern to the D.C.-based House of Flack.

If only Han Solo were alive to see this day…