Posts Tagged ‘thief’

Oh No, a Segway Personal Transporter Stolen from the Financial District! Famous Alex Clemens Loses His Famous Ride

Friday, January 31st, 2014

So this is famous Alex Clemens on the job, wonking away about Ranked Choice Voting and politics:

And this is famous Alex Clemens getting to his job, on an old-school Segway Personal Transporter Classic:

You can see dude all over town on this thing. He’s been segwaying for a long time now

But no longer.

His trusty Segway was boosted last night in the Financial District. Here’s the Tweet to the SFPD about it:

Alex Clemens ‏@alexclemens12h “This is probably unusual. My Segway was stolen from the corner of Montgomery and Clay between 5:30 and 6p. So that happened.”
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I’ll tell you, 165 years ago, felons were stealing horses off of Monty and now they’re stealing Segways. That’s progress for you…

How NOT to Lock Your Bike on Market Street, Even If You Can’t Find a Bike Rack or Parking Meter in Sight – An SFPD Sting?

Friday, December 13th, 2013

Of course there’s no room for a bike rack or two on this stretch of Market Street betwixt the big old Apple store of Union Square and the Powell Street cable car turnaround, but there’s plenty of room for useless, “aesthetic,” newspaper racks that sort-of-former Mayor Willie Brown put in to punish the local press back when he was a youthful lad in his 70′s.

Of course these days you’ve gotta have wheel locks, a headset lock and a seat tube lock and a decent U-lock on even a weekend MTB, right? Right.

Now of course that’s pretty much worthless when you hitch your horse to the handle of a newspaper rack door, but I figured I’d only be gone two minutes or so, thusly: 

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Of course when I came back two minutes later, an area bike thief was scoping out things, trying to see which tool in his collection would best remove the two spring hinges holding on the rack door. I approached  while rattling my keys loudly, as a kind of bear bell to not startle the local wildlife and he’s all, “Man I wasn’t trying to take the bike.” Then he followed up by saying that  he “could have had that door off in two minutes.”

Oh well.

Of course people are incorrect when they say SFPD enforcement actions on cyclists blowing through stop signs in the Wiggle area are “stings” because there’s no element of deception. But how about a different kind of police sting, one that has a bike worth stealing locked up to some fragile thing? ‘Cause the stings I’ve seen done by the SFPD involve parking a bike unlocked near the entrance of a Safeway and the people who steal those bikes might think that it’s, you know, it’s finders keepers. If I were on a jury, I’d prefer to see evidence of something being broken or picked before I voted guilty.

Of course, I’m only just saying.

Here’s What Happens When You Park Your Car on Fulton Street Lately – Smashy Smashy! – A Junkie Wants Your Miley CDs

Friday, November 29th, 2013

Or your Creedence tapes, either way.

It’s a living:

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How Abandoned Should a Bicycle Become Before It’s OK to Harvest It for Parts?

Monday, November 25th, 2013

I guess if a bike has been locked up for months at the same place outside, you could say that its owner abandoned it due to theft of parts, but is it right to take parts yourself?

I’d say when a stolen bike reaches this point, propped up against a garbage can, you can feel good about taking whichever parts you want:

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I don’t know which SFGov agency is in charge of clearing out San Francisco’s numerous locked-up bike carcasses. Maybe it’s DPW?

If You U-Lock Your Brand New Bike in SF Without Taking Precautions, This Will Happen To It Within One Day

Wednesday, August 21st, 2013

[UPDATE: Oh yeah, this isn't a mountain bike, apologies.]

Some junkie in a hoodie will quick-release your seatpost and front wheel and then walk away in about five seconds.

Thusly:

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I don’t even know why bike shops in SF sell bikes with quick-release anything.

Myself, I switch everything out and then superglue everything I can.

So my $269 Marin mountain bike ends up with $100-something worth of U-lock, wheel locks, headset lock, saddle lock, etc oh well.

Photo: How Many Stolen Bikes Can a Homeless Dude Carry Around on Just One Shopping Cart – How About a Dozen?

Tuesday, July 16th, 2013

He says he found all of them.

OK fine.

To be fair, not all the bike frames had wheels:

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Make him an offer, 7th and Market

Area Bicycle Thief Claims He Could Have Stolen This MTB Locked Up on Market Street in Two Minutes

Thursday, April 4th, 2013

Which is probably true.

But the thing is I only left it there for two minutes

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After a brief examination of the doors of this obsolete newspaper pedmount, the bicycle thief ran off claiming that he wasn’t trying to steal this particular bike.

On it goes.

Desperate San Francisco Drivers Will Happily Roll Over Broken Glass in Order to Get a Free Parking Space

Monday, December 3rd, 2012

Thusly.

Parking on parking on broken glass

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UC Berkeley Engineering Grad Comes to Mayor Ed Lee’s San Francisco, Encounters Ceaseless Petty Crime, Oh Well

Monday, November 19th, 2012

1. Silently break passenger window of an upscale Honda (with a piece of high-temperature ceramic from a spark plug tied to a piece string) on the mean streets of ineffectual Mayor Ed Lee’s San Francisco.

2. Take all folding money you can grab (but leave the coins – too heavy.)

3. Get arrested, very occasionally.

4. Get sprung.

5. Repeat.

Thusly:

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And do you know what the SFPD will say? They’ll say, “You parked your car in that area? You shouldn’t park there!”

Just like they say, “You were actually using your iPhone while waiting for MUNI. Oh no, you should hide it whenever you’re not at home.”

Srsly.

On It Goes

San Francisco’s Mid-Market Renaissance Continues: Now You Can Buy Flat-Panel LED TV’s at 7th and Market

Monday, September 17th, 2012

You know, in addition to all the iPhones:

Seen walking away from the open-air stolen iPhone market on the north side of this very intersection: 

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Next month, fences will have to start charging 10 cents for each booty bag. Cause it’ll be The Law. So that’ll be $20 for that TV plus 10 cents for the bag. And the remote? Well, you’ll have to look it up and buy one online…