Which is probably true.
But the thing is I only left it there for two minutes
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After a brief examination of the doors of this obsolete newspaper pedmount, the bicycle thief ran off claiming that he wasn’t trying to steal this particular bike.
On it goes.
1. Silently break passenger window of an upscale Honda (with a piece of high-temperature ceramic from a spark plug tied to a piece string) on the mean streets of ineffectual Mayor Ed Lee’s San Francisco.
2. Take all folding money you can grab (but leave the coins – too heavy.)
3. Get arrested, very occasionally.
4. Get sprung.
5. Repeat.
Thusly:
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And do you know what the SFPD will say? They’ll say, “You parked your car in that area? You shouldn’t park there!”
Just like they say, “You were actually using your iPhone while waiting for MUNI. Oh no, you should hide it whenever you’re not at home.”
Srsly.
On It Goes
You know, in addition to all the iPhones:
Seen walking away from the open-air stolen iPhone market on the north side of this very intersection:
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Next month, fences will have to start charging 10 cents for each booty bag. Cause it’ll be The Law. So that’ll be $20 for that TV plus 10 cents for the bag. And the remote? Well, you’ll have to look it up and buy one online…
The owner of this ride first “lost” a wheel to a professional junkie / bike thief. Then the owner left the immobilized bike parked on the mean streets of San Francisco overnight. Then the thieves came back to finish the job.
Thusly:
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Was this an especially desirable bike?
Nope. (Note carpet remnant used as saddle upholstery.)
Wouldn’t it make more sense if the thieves were able to steal the whole bike?
Yep.
You know, back in the day, about twenty years ago, bike thieves would aspire to steal your whole bike. Thieves would carry around car jacks stolen from Volvos so they could be used to pry apart U-locks.
I think I’d prefer that, losing the whole bike, over coming back and seeing something like this.
You know, back in the day, horse thieves would steal your whole horse. They wouldn’t just take the tail or a leg and then leave you with a horse carcass.
Let’s make this a rule: Bike thieves, take the whole bike or nothing at all.
End of line.
Here’s the latest attempt at Twitter Justice, via Tweeter Mo Kudeki:
“Here’s the pickpocketing bro who grabbed me, had @pollydallas take a pic, and stole my iPhone Sat @ Dolores. #douchebag“
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Leave us note that the screen was “hella cracked.”
One hopes the SFPD has been alerted to this alleged crime…
Here’s the sad story from the dude what lost his stuff at the Subway Sandwiches on Polk and Sutter:
“(3/25/2012) I was in the Subway sandwiches place at 1199 Sutter at Polk and then walked outside to get a taxi for some people I was with. I had accidentally left my phone and wallet on the table. When I returned about 30 seconds later my stuff was gone. Here is the surveillance video of who took it. Please message me or email me at racejohnson@gmail.com if you recognize her.”
Now, I say girls, I mean, I can’t tell how old they are, something betwixt 14 and 24. They act like high school students AFAIAC.
As seen in the Alamo Square part of the Western Addition:
Bon voyage, 40-year-old bike.
I thought most of the bikes in the flat, flat Mission District were fixies these days, but I guess not:
Here are the the latest photos of the recovered rides:
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I tell everybody who comes to town.
It’s my obligation.
Now, let’s hear from Northern Station SFPD Police Captain Ann Mannix:
“I just looked at our most recent crime stats and, no surprise to me, auto break-ins are up yet again… Help us out by taking anything valuable out of your car and encourage others to do so as well, especially your out-of-town visitors.”
Indeed.
Walking on, walking on broken glass in the Golden Gate Park Panhandle:
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