Posts Tagged ‘thief’

Infamous “MISSING (NOT STOLEN)” Trials Bike Found, Sort Of – On Top of a Saab in the Western Addition

Monday, June 6th, 2016

You wouldn’t believe how many light post signs that could be seen all over town last month, advertising this bike.

And look, here it is, east of the Northeast of the Panhandle Area (NoPA) – aka our Western Addition. Seen coming…

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and going:

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And here’s your close-up:

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Not sure what all this means…

Word on the Street: “MISSING (NOT STOLEN) – CASH REWARD” – This Sign is All Over The Place

Tuesday, May 24th, 2016

If I had stolen this bike, seeing all these signs everywhere just might be enough to motivate me to collect my reward.

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What Happens When You Park Your Bike in Mayor Ed Lee’s San Francisco – His Legacy Parked on the Sidewalk

Tuesday, May 10th, 2016

Why on Earth would he go to Brazil to give tips on the already-failed 2016 Summer Olympics, or to Panama to look at a canal – I mean, how is that kind of stuff official business?

Anyway, the best parts of your bike are now gone, so all that’s left to do is prop the carcass up on a pole for somebody to eventually carry it off…

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This is What It’s Like to Operate a Bike in Mayor Ed Lee’s San Francisco

Friday, March 25th, 2016

It’s exactly like this:

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But Ed Lee has a plan for the West Coast Capital of Bike Theft.

Here it is, going to Brasil to lecture about how to lose billions on the Olympics? Well, maybe not, but Flying South To Rio must be more fun than doing the job six people appointed this longtime SFGov bureaucrat to do…

“Thief Alert,” Post Street – Old School Theft Shaming Using New School Digital Imaging

Tuesday, December 29th, 2015

Imagine coming back to steal some more stuff and then seeing your image like this:

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Life in Ed Lee’s San Francisco: Parking in the Only Space Still Available, the One with All the Broken Glass from Last Night

Wednesday, November 4th, 2015

People tend to park a little way from the curb in these situations.

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Oh well.

The Scariest Acronym Possible to the Mail Thieves of Haight Ashbury? “CCTV,” Apparently – One Weird Trick!

Monday, June 15th, 2015

Picture the scene – you’re a junkie fixing to steal a little mail from Yet Another Millionaire Homeowner in the 94117. You slowly lift the little door only to see this: CCTV.

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Oh no! Closed Circuit Tele Vision – run away, run away!

(That’s the only way you can see these letters. That or, maybe, Clayton Station 94117 has loaded your box so much that the door will no longer close – that’s the other way of seeing this message.)

Does this technique scare off hoodied junkies?

I know not.

A Sad, Month-Long Search for a Soccer Ball in the Richmond District – “I Will Know Who the Thief is”

Friday, May 22nd, 2015

I think I would have gone with LOST rather than STOLEN!

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But that’s just me.

That Long Walk Home: What Happens After a Bike Thief Swipes Your Front Wheel in Ed Lee’s San Francisco

Thursday, March 12th, 2015

As seen in Mid-Market:

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Prediction: The First Gold Apple Watch Theft/Robbery in San Francisco Will Occur in June 2015

Tuesday, February 24th, 2015

Do you love gold?

Lots of criminals do.

And pretty soon, they’ll realize that the value of the gold in some new watches from Apple is very very high.

Let’s see what the SFPD has to say:

“As with any new technology, of course there is a concern that thieves will prey on victims with the new technology,” San Francisco Police Department public information officer, Albie Esparza said. “Criminals are opportunistic. If there is a demand, there will be supply. It’s simple business economics.”

So, I don’t care what security features your multi-thousand dollar gold iWatch has, there’s nothing stopping somebody from taking your shiny and then melting it down to sell the gold for $1000 an ounce.

We’ll see…

Now here’s a guy at the Original Aple Store at 1 Stockton in Union Square trying and failing to shoplift some $350(!) Beats headphones:

Apple realizes that its new watches will need to be protected just as at any other Union Square jewelry / bling bling store.

But once its on your wrist, security will be YOUR problem.

Choose wisely.