Posts Tagged ‘thief’

Life in Ed Lee’s San Francisco: Parking in the Only Space Still Available, the One with All the Broken Glass from Last Night

Wednesday, November 4th, 2015

People tend to park a little way from the curb in these situations.

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Oh well.

The Scariest Acronym Possible to the Mail Thieves of Haight Ashbury? “CCTV,” Apparently – One Weird Trick!

Monday, June 15th, 2015

Picture the scene – you’re a junkie fixing to steal a little mail from Yet Another Millionaire Homeowner in the 94117. You slowly lift the little door only to see this: CCTV.

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Oh no! Closed Circuit Tele Vision – run away, run away!

(That’s the only way you can see these letters. That or, maybe, Clayton Station 94117 has loaded your box so much that the door will no longer close – that’s the other way of seeing this message.)

Does this technique scare off hoodied junkies?

I know not.

A Sad, Month-Long Search for a Soccer Ball in the Richmond District – “I Will Know Who the Thief is”

Friday, May 22nd, 2015

I think I would have gone with LOST rather than STOLEN!

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But that’s just me.

That Long Walk Home: What Happens After a Bike Thief Swipes Your Front Wheel in Ed Lee’s San Francisco

Thursday, March 12th, 2015

As seen in Mid-Market:

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Prediction: The First Gold Apple Watch Theft/Robbery in San Francisco Will Occur in June 2015

Tuesday, February 24th, 2015

Do you love gold?

Lots of criminals do.

And pretty soon, they’ll realize that the value of the gold in some new watches from Apple is very very high.

Let’s see what the SFPD has to say:

“As with any new technology, of course there is a concern that thieves will prey on victims with the new technology,” San Francisco Police Department public information officer, Albie Esparza said. “Criminals are opportunistic. If there is a demand, there will be supply. It’s simple business economics.”

So, I don’t care what security features your multi-thousand dollar gold iWatch has, there’s nothing stopping somebody from taking your shiny and then melting it down to sell the gold for $1000 an ounce.

We’ll see…

Now here’s a guy at the Original Aple Store at 1 Stockton in Union Square trying and failing to shoplift some $350(!) Beats headphones:

Apple realizes that its new watches will need to be protected just as at any other Union Square jewelry / bling bling store.

But once its on your wrist, security will be YOUR problem.

Choose wisely.

A Question About the Mean Streets of Interim Mayor Ed Lee’s San Francisco: When To Harvest An Stolen/Abandoned Bike

Thursday, October 16th, 2014

Bike thievery is an occupation in San Francisco, America’s Capital of Bike Thieves, East of Manhattan.

The wheels and the handlebar are gone, but there are a lot of pieces I could use in my junk drawer.

And this rig isn’t even locked up.

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IMO, it would be kosher to harvest this ride, to profit, in a way, from bike thievery…

Weepin’ time/ reapin’ time/ harvest harvest time

Oak Street Blues: What Happens to Your Bike When You Lock It Up in Appointed Mayor Ed Lee’s San Francisco

Thursday, May 15th, 2014

So yeah, the chain and the padlock worked, but you’re going to need some way of keeping the wheels attached, when the freaks come out, at night.

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In mitigation, this ride wasn’t all that expensive to begin with…

Lesson: You Gotta Lock That Down

Oh No, Car Driven Into Berkeley’s 4th Street Apple Store This Morning – Smashy Smashy – Here’s a Photo

Friday, May 9th, 2014

Here it is, courtesy of the world’s #1 Apple fan-boy blog:

Oh Apple, will you ever win?

Oh No, a Segway Personal Transporter Stolen from the Financial District! Famous Alex Clemens Loses His Famous Ride

Friday, January 31st, 2014

So this is famous Alex Clemens on the job, wonking away about Ranked Choice Voting and politics:

And this is famous Alex Clemens getting to his job, on an old-school Segway Personal Transporter Classic:

You can see dude all over town on this thing. He’s been segwaying for a long time now

But no longer.

His trusty Segway was boosted last night in the Financial District. Here’s the Tweet to the SFPD about it:

Alex Clemens ‏@alexclemens12h “This is probably unusual. My Segway was stolen from the corner of Montgomery and Clay between 5:30 and 6p. So that happened.”
I’ll tell you, 165 years ago, felons were stealing horses off of Monty and now they’re stealing Segways. That’s progress for you…

How NOT to Lock Your Bike on Market Street, Even If You Can’t Find a Bike Rack or Parking Meter in Sight – An SFPD Sting?

Friday, December 13th, 2013

Of course there’s no room for a bike rack or two on this stretch of Market Street betwixt the big old Apple store of Union Square and the Powell Street cable car turnaround, but there’s plenty of room for useless, “aesthetic,” newspaper racks that sort-of-former Mayor Willie Brown put in to punish the local press back when he was a youthful lad in his 70’s.

Of course these days you’ve gotta have wheel locks, a headset lock and a seat tube lock and a decent U-lock on even a weekend MTB, right? Right.

Now of course that’s pretty much worthless when you hitch your horse to the handle of a newspaper rack door, but I figured I’d only be gone two minutes or so, thusly: 

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Of course when I came back two minutes later, an area bike thief was scoping out things, trying to see which tool in his collection would best remove the two spring hinges holding on the rack door. I approached  while rattling my keys loudly, as a kind of bear bell to not startle the local wildlife and he’s all, “Man I wasn’t trying to take the bike.” Then he followed up by saying that  he “could have had that door off in two minutes.”

Oh well.

Of course people are incorrect when they say SFPD enforcement actions on cyclists blowing through stop signs in the Wiggle area are “stings” because there’s no element of deception. But how about a different kind of police sting, one that has a bike worth stealing locked up to some fragile thing? ‘Cause the stings I’ve seen done by the SFPD involve parking a bike unlocked near the entrance of a Safeway and the people who steal those bikes might think that it’s, you know, it’s finders keepers. If I were on a jury, I’d prefer to see evidence of something being broken or picked before I voted guilty.

Of course, I’m only just saying.