Posts Tagged ‘tickets’

OMG, It’s the Ringling Bros Barnum & Bailey Circus – A Great Show at the Cow Palace – Eight Performances Through Labor Day

Friday, September 4th, 2015

Yesterday was media night at the circus (all the deets here). So I got tickets and you now get to see these photos and my impressions – that’s how it works.

I know some people/families who are planning on going on this long three-day weekend and I know others who aren’t interested at all. Me, I’d never been to a circus, except the deconstructed “human-only circus” known as Cirque du Soleil. So here we go.

Man, the 101 South had multiple accidents near Hospital Curve during yesterday’s Evening Drive? Sure seemed that way. The alternate route to the Cow Palace (camera right) was a hilly adventure in itself.

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An actual Showman:

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Man, this is one big road show – lots and lots of performers:

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I didn’t spot one tattoo. Amazing

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What’s this, Critical Mass? Lots and lots of BMX bikes

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If you like camels, this is the event for you – lots and…

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…and lots…

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…and lots of time with double-humped camels

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Bam, your high-wire act. This is impressive:

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Seats on the right side (I don’t know what to call it – the south side?) of our Cow Palace are particularly close to the action. They’re jumping around up there. For me, this was the highlight.

I’ve only seen this kind of thing in cartoons. Boom:

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What am I looking at here, is this real life? Some surreal scenes:

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Oh, a live orchestra in the pit? Didn’t expect that.

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And, ballerinas galore:

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And on and on.

Last night was the first show – they had $15 tickets available. The next eight shows start at $20. I paid $15 for parking, which I’d recommend paying for. If you see a free spot on Geneva right out front, you might want to go for that, but unless you show up way early, you’re not going to see that. They also have a more expensive lot close in but I wouldn’t recommend that.

Have fun!

Fantastic Negrito Plays THE INDEPENDENT in NoPA FOR FREE on September 11th: A Make-Up for Outside Lands

Wednesday, August 26th, 2015

Here’s the link – it was dispensing free tickets as of 2:20 PM today. Registration with Ticketfly required.



I guess that whole deal about getting detained by the SFPD at Outside Lands 2015 got worked out…

Imagine you’d want to show up super early for this one.

Exploring Alternatives to the Crowded, Problematic “The Wiggle” Bike Route – “RIDE OAK?” – Sure, or McAllister

Friday, August 14th, 2015

Here you go:

Due to police harassment on the SF Wiggle we have no choice but to ride Oak.”


Well, let’s see, there are LOTS of reasons to not ride the vaunted THE WIGGLE route and also, there are other options asides from OAK.

But let’s consider Oak now. Oh, here’s famous fixie-riding Andy on the left side of Oak, from all the way back in aught-seven.


And look, the dashed lines made a sort of bike lane on the left side – good times. (Unfortunately, this space for bikes is no longer there, due to subsequent restriping.)

Anywho, going straight on Oak instead of taking the Wiggle at Scott is nice because you’ve only got one sort of steep block. I see people take Oak all the time. Oak is good. Oak is fast. Oak is congested a lot of the time due to horrible horrible Octavia Boulevard (what was dreamed up by wealthy homeowners in Hayes Valley), so you’d spend some time weaving about, getting around drivers trying to get on the I-80 / the 101 superslabs, but that’s OK. I’ll add that Oak is for the adventurous, certainly.

So, Oak is far from being a ridiculous choice, a choice TO TEACH US ALL A LESSON about the dangers of the SFPD handing out citations. It’s a viable option.

Or what of Oak and Baker to Fulton to Divisadero to Mcallister to Market? This is THE UNWIGGLE with no wiggling at all betwixt Divis and Market. And look, you’ve defeated the rich people of HV who put a 105 foot wide BOULEVARD betwixt you and your destination, ’cause Octavia is but a nothingburger walking path / federal housing project parking lot on this route – it won’t slow you down at all.

Or Fulton? It’s a bit hillier than McAll and you’ve got big old City Hall in your way, but it’ll do.

Or Golden Gate? That works too.

Or Haight all the way to Fillmore, just to avoid the congested THE WIGGLE?

Notice that all these routes avoid “cycling” a bunch of people through the stop signs at WALLER and STEINER in the Lower Haight.

Those are some of your inbound routes.

As far as using Fell to go back home, well that’s CRAZY TOWN, that’s ill-advised. I rarely have seen that, in all my years.

IMO, the best way to get back is MCALLISTER


…of course, there are other non-THE WIGGLE choices as well.

But feel free to do whatever you want, commiserate with this knucklehead, who lacks self-awareness, as you both deal with $238 tickets from John Law.

Just saying…

KRON-TV Journalist Blamed for SFPD Crackdown: On Craigslist: “FUCK STANLEY ROBERTS – $100,000″ – More People Behaving Badly

Friday, August 7th, 2015

Here’s the call:

And here’s the response:


Bicycle Activists vs. the SFPD: “Wiggle Stop-In Event” Coming to the Lower Haight on Wednesday – “Advanced Media” Unwelcomed

Friday, July 24th, 2015

Look, a petulance parade:

“On Wednesday July 29th from 5:30-6:30 pm, please join us for our first Wiggle Stop-In event. We want to gather 50-100 cyclists to ride around the Wiggle/Lower Haight and stop at every stop sign in single file order. We want to make the point that, in fact, requiring cyclists to come to full stops at every stop sign is a really terrible idea for everyone on the road.

Grab your bike, ride to the Wiggle (the epicenter will be Waller and Steiner), and wait your turn for your chance to come to a full and complete stop at every intersection. Bonus points if you need to negotiate with other “vehicles” about who should be going first.

Let’s show Capt. John Sanford of Park Station that his choice to crack down on cyclists who aren’t following the letter of the law not only doesn’t make anyone safer but actually would create terrible conditions on our roads.”

Here’s your background:

And here’s your prior stab at a media stunt in this area, conducted by someone unfamiliar with, you know, our First Amendment:

SFMTA Update: New Market Street Turn Restrictions to be “Enforced by SFMTA Parking Control Officers and the SFPD?”

Thursday, June 25th, 2015

1. Well, here’s the news:

“The paint crew began restriping at Hyde Street in preparation for the turn restrictions yesterday (June 23rd), just a week after board approval. The paint crew will continue their work through July along with the sign and meter shops, to install the turn restriction signage and loading zones respectfully. It is expected that the work for the turn restrictions, loading zones, and painted safety zones will be complete by early to mid-August. The signs will be bagged until all are complete, at which time the turn restrictions will go into effect, and will be enforced by SFMTA parking control officers and SFPD.”

I can sort of see how the SFMTA is able to enforce CA’s “block the box” law, as the drivers cited are literally parking in intersections, sometimes for as long as a minute.*

But, I can’t see how the SFMTA is going to be able to “enforce” the coming turn restrictions on Market Street.

What am I missing here?

Is this simply the clumsy SFMTA talking bad agin? We’ll see.

2. And since we’re here at the above link, look at what the SFMTA considers an example of a “news article” – it’s some dude on Medium. What the SFMTA means to say is here are some news articles plus links to fawning supporters, those who’d never pointy out that we operate the slowest, least-efficient big-city transit system in America. I mean how wude for ppl to say that, right?

3. Ah, what else. Hey, SFMTA! Why not now ban SFMTA taxis from making the turns you just banned Uber, Lyft and the other TNC’s from making? Hear me out – we’d be doing it for safety. And actually, the actual position of Uber and Lyft is that taxis should be similarly banned from making these restricted turns. SFMTA board members complaining about the “nightmare” of enforcement should be placated – if you see a taxi making this turn, give it a ticket just like you do with all the other cars. Easy peasy. Oh what’s that, you don’t want to, you’d have to change some rule? Well, then why not do that? Don’t you care about safety?

4. And, what else. Oh yeah, what about handicapped drivers? They’ll be getting four new spaces to park on Market betwixt 3rd and 8th (or between 8th and 3rd, as most people like to phrase it, so I guess my brain’s not hooked up right) but then they won’t be able to make the turn onto Market to get to the spaces? Or, maybe you can make these turns? But then you’d be in a private vehicle, right? I don’t get it. The SFMTA of 2014 wasn’t afraid to discuss this issue, but the SFMTA of 2015 is, apparently.

5. And hey, what about MUNI’s accidents along this stretch of road? Let’s find the stat here, direct from the SFMTA. Oh what’s that, Gentle Reader, is your link busted too. Well, who busted it – the SFMTA itself? Why’s that? In fact, the info on that web page is gone forever from – it’s down the Memory Hole, Comrade. So let’s go way back, via the Wayback Machine:

“Between 2012 and 2013, there were 162 reported injury collisions on Market between Van Ness Avenue and Steuart Street, including 2 fatalities. 33% of collisions involve Muni.

So, help me out here. What percentage of vehicles on this part of Market are MUNI vehicles? I’m thinking it’s way less than 10%. (You ever wait for the outbound buses? Just count the number of cars and taxis and cyclists what pass you by.) And yet, a third of the collisions involve MUNI? Hey SFMTA, don’t you have a problem here? Hey SFMTA, aren’t you yourselves a part of the problem?

Just asking…

*Now this is kind of stupid, as SFGov is profiting off of an intersection that it’s in control of, an intersection near the foot of Bush Street what’s managed, by SFGov, poorly, IMO. Nevertheless, the oblivious suburbanites heading home shouldn’t be blocking the box light cycle after light cycle.

5000+ Volunteers Wanted for 2016 Super Bowl Week – Here’s How to Sign Up – But Your Rewards Will Be Few

Wednesday, June 3rd, 2015

See below. I’ve bolded the relevant portions – you’re welcome!

Basically, your carrot for volunteering is this:

One (1) Super Bowl 50 volunteer uniform (Generic “VISA” windbreaker + generic shirt + generic cap)

Two (2) tickets to the NFL Experience. (Act all surprised when they present them to you. I guess that’s a SPOILER for you. Sorry about that, Chief.)

In exchange for that, here are the sticks what will lessen your ardor for becoming an unpaid worker for millionaires and billionaires. I call it the 0-1-2-3 Plan!

Zero (0) gigs available inside the stadium on Game Day AND  zero (0) tickets available to compensate workers. (Oh. So why would people volunteer then? I’m not getting this.)

One (1) background check required, of you. (You can’t have multiple domestic violence convictions and then expect to labor for the NFL, right?)

Two (2) or more (moar?!) unpaid training session(s) required before Super Bowl Week. (Who knows, you might be “leadership” material, and that would lead to extra training. In this case, feel free to add this experience to your LinkedIn next year as supervisory experience, I’m srsly.)

Three (3) shifts (minimum) required to fulfill your obligations. (I don’t know how they could compel you to actually show up after you get your swag – perhaps that mechanism will be in all the paperwork you’ll be signing.)

So how the heck is the NFL going to get thousands and thousands of people to sign up for this?

Anyway, take a look – here’s your consideration, here’s your compensation: SWAG! (It’ll be just like last year’s, one supposes.)

Hey, what about the drugs? It’s not a prob:

 “We do not require a drug test in order to participate as a volunteer

OK then. (The NFL certainly doesn’t seem to mind some drugs, anyway.)

(You know, of all the events our local Establishment works years and years on, you know, to bring EXCITEMENT to the bay area, a Santa Clara Super Bowl is prolly the best. Like, it’s not a small-time scam like an America’s Cup (cost to tax and fee payers = eight (8) figures) and it’s not a big-time scam like a corrupt Summer Olympics (cost to tax and fee payers = eleven (11) figures). So things could be worse. I can’t say I approve of all the deets in the secret NFL contract what brings the SB to SC, but a Super Bowl is a real event that won’t require new stadiums, so that’s nice.)

All right, all the deets:


5000+ Volunteers Needed for the Bay Area’s Super Bowl Week

SAN FRANCISCO — Today the San Francisco Bay Area Super Bowl 50 Host Committee opens its Volunteer Program application process. The Host Committee is calling for 5,000+ volunteers to welcome guests to the Bay Area and provide them with a helping hand during Super Bowl Week, which begins January 30, 2016.

The official volunteer application is available on the Host Committee’s website at

According to the Host Committee, a variety of volunteer opportunities and shifts will be available to accommodate the skills and schedules of volunteers. Volunteers will be stationed around the Bay Area in hotels, airports, major tourist destinations, and ferry and train terminals. Volunteers will also be stationed at Super Bowl City in San Francisco and the South Bay during Super Bowl Week. On Game Day, the NFL will not require any volunteer support inside the stadium.

“We are looking for enthusiastic and knowledgeable volunteers to help us give a warm welcome to more than one million visitors during Super Bowl Week,” said Keith Bruce, CEO for the Host Committee. “Volunteers are key ambassadors for both Super Bowl 50 and the Bay Area, so we are looking to build a volunteer corps that showcases the tremendous diversity, spirit and character of our communities.”

Volunteers will receive a free Super Bowl 50 volunteer uniform, as well as volunteer training in advance of Super Bowl Week. Volunteers will not receive tickets for Super Bowl 50.

All participants must be available to work at least three volunteers shifts. While most of the volunteer opportunities will be available for participants who are at least 18 years old, there are also a limited number of opportunities for youth ages 14-17. All participants must also undergo a background check.

About the San Francisco Bay Area Super Bowl 50 Host Committee:

Working in partnership with Bay Area public officials and the NFL, the San Francisco Bay Area Super Bowl 50 Host Committee is responsible for Super Bowl 50 and its celebration elements, including public exhibits, planning of game day logistics and Super Bowl City, its fan village in San Francisco. The Host Committee will donate 25% of every dollar raised to Bay Area community initiatives and high-performing nonprofits through 50 Fund. To be hosted in the state-of-the-art Levi’s® Stadium in Santa Clara in 2016, Super Bowl 50 will be celebrated through a series of events that showcase all the Bay Area has to offer. For more information, visit

And here’s the site, complete with “256 SSL bit encryption.”*

“The Host Committee is looking for enthusiastic and committed volunteers to serve in a number of capacities. Whatever your interest, talent or background, there is an opportunity waiting for you!

The Super Bowl 50 Host Committee Volunteer Program is officially accepting applications!

Apply to be a Volunteer HERE.

Please keep in mind that submission of an application does not guarantee a volunteer role.

Please know that our application system is protected with a 256 SSL bit encryption. To view our security, clicking the “Verified & Secured” icon in the footer of the application.

Have questions? Check out our #SB50 Volunteer Program FAQ

If you are interested in learning more about the Volunteer program, please sign up for our newsletter below and connect with us on LinkedIn.

Read more at″

*Uh, how about 256-bit SSL encryption instead, NFL?

Our Inefficient, Money-Hungry SFMTA Wants to Start Issuing Speeding Tickets, But Somehow “They Would Not Be Moving Violations?!”

Thursday, May 21st, 2015

Oh, this one’s easy  – we’re going to go from zero to Orwellian in ten seconds.

Gentlemen, Start Your Engines:

SFMTA Pushing For Speed Cameras In San Francisco To Improve Pedestrian Safety by Cate Cauguiran

And here’s your nut graf:

“SFMTA plans to present their proposal to the San Francisco County Transportation Authority later this week. The agency says the citations would not be moving violations, and therefore not reportable to the DMV.”

Now let’s review – Papa Homer, what’s a “moving violation?

A moving violation is a violation of the law committed by the driver of a vehicle while it is in motion. The term “motion” distinguishes it from other motor vehicle violations, such as paperwork violations (which include violations involving automobile insurance, registration and inspection), parking violations, or equipment violations.”

So, if the parking ticket agency gives a ticket for speeding, it’s issuing moving violations, right? Now tell us more, Wiki:

While some violations, like parking violations, are civil matters involving a vehicle’s owner, moving violations are charged against the actual driver.

Yep. And then there’s this:

The most commonly enforced moving violation, and the overwhelmingly most frequent reason for a vehicle pullover, are violations of the speed limit.

And what’s the motivation for the SFMTA to float this balloon?

Sometimes tickets are used in a speed trap as a form of fundraising

I don’t use the term “speed trap” myself, but, yes, our SFMTA is obsessed with “fundraising,” certainly.

And lastly:

Examples of moving violations: speeding, which can be exceeding a limit or simply driving an unsafe speed…

Thanks Wiki! And actually, a speeding ticket is the prototypical moving violation, in Frisco and everywhere else too.

Now I’ll tell you, I was surprised earlier this year to see the SFMTA issuing “block the box” tickets, because sometimes the SFMTA DPT shows up at an intersection during rush hour to unblock the box, not to make money from block boxing. And yet, here you go:

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This is a DPT PCO in the middle of the intersection of Bush and Sansome shooting fish in a barrel – busting three vehicles, and then she was Gone In 60 Seconds.

And I thought, well, I suppose the drivers here are parked since they’re idling away, motionless, for a long time, so sure, ticket away, SFMTA, even though you’ve timed the lights to exacerbate this situation, but anyway, sure, these are parking tickets, fine.

But if you want to start issuing moving violation tickets, you shouldn’t lie about it. (I’ll tell you, sometimes I can’t tell if the SFMTA lies on purpose or if it just doesn’t know what it’s doing.)

Now, here’s my MODEST PROPOSAL - traffic cameras for pedestrians, mounted over crosswalks. The cameras would record all the peds who jump the light by starting across a second or two early and then a ticket for $100 would get mailed to the offenders after facial recognition ID’s the peds. (Gentle Reader, did you know that most ped deaths last year on the Streets of San Francisco were the fault of the peds themselves? It’s sort of a secret. It wasn’t a blowout or anything, the peds “won” this competition by 50-something percent, vs. the drivers’ 40-something percent, but isn’t it ironic, dont’cha think, that enforcing the vehicle code upon peds, as unpopular as this might be, could reduce traffic deaths more than how SFGov has handled matters up ’til now? Anyway, I’m talking about how the SFPD apportioned ped deaths in SF in 2014. But don’t talk about it, oh no – that might get you transferred to the Airport Detail, srsly. And bonus! Our new ped cams could “also help us as an investigative tool if someone is committing a crime somewhere nearby.” Moving on…)

Of course, the reason why SFGov wants to go Full Orwell is that paying sworn officers to issue tickets is inefficient and expensive. OTOH, an automatic system, backed up by an appeals mechanism to make everything constitutional, could generate tons of money for the SFMTA, like almost as much as its Household Transit Tax fantasy that it would impose on you, Gentle Reader, in a New York minute, if it could. (It’s what Ed Reiskin dreams of at night – your transit tax would be added to your tax returns, easy peasy, what a dream!)

Anyway, I think saying that a moving violation isn’t is worthy of five Orwells, on a scale of zero to five Orwells:






All the way to the bottom, Maggie SFMTA – you’ve made it!

KRON-TV’s Big Stanley Roberts vs. the Little Lebowski of the Southern Wiggle: “I Don’t Want To Release This Footage”

Friday, April 24th, 2015

Welcome to ‘Merica, Dude:

How SFGov Profits from Human Nature: Hundreds of Dollars of Street Sweeping Tickets Issued on One Short Block

Thursday, April 16th, 2015

Our SFMTA issued st least three tickets on this short block the other day, you know, to punish people for blocking a street cleaning machine.

Here’s the Before, with an ugly, ugly trash-strewn street…

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…and here’s the After, with the newly-beautiful* street:

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What a difference!

Hurray! Hurray for SFGov.

(IRL, this is SFGov reacting to market discipline. If it made this much money per minute rehabbing addicts, it would spend a lot more time and effort rehabbing addicts…)

*Actually, this short block, and this one only, was recently repaved, a few years back, right before an election, and it happens to be the block where a long-time leader of a long-time community group just happens to reside, and I thought, where are we, Chicago West? That’s just what I thought, I don’t know why this block got repaved before others in the Western Addition. As I said, it’s kind of random….