Posts Tagged ‘tow’

Nike is Going to Tow Your Car This Saturday Night If You’ve Parked on Certain Blocks of Gough, GG, Webster, Fulton, Scott, Fell…

Friday, October 17th, 2014

I’ve already made this post, but I’ve just come across the route map for 2014′s Nike Women’s Half Marathon, and if this tiny blog can prevent just one unnecessary tow-job this weekend, well that’s blogesse oblige, mon frere.

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If I were Nike, of Beaverton, Oregon, I’d refund the $500-$1000 tow fees that a bunch of San Franciscans are going to be getting come Sunday morning, on a case-by-case basis.

If I were Nike…

All the deets on street closures:

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The Towman Cometh: That AutoReturn Co. Will Make a Ton of Money Tomorrow Night on Fell – Nike Women’s Half-Marathon

Friday, October 17th, 2014

Well, this is new, the routing of this year’s Nike Women’s Half Marathon San Francisco.

Nike, Inc is going to blow through Fell Street like an autumnal version of the Bay to Breakers historic street party and fun run.

Take a look – here are the new signs DPW just put out, like a string of pearls through the Panhandle:

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Note the timing of the mass towings has recently been altered. Can you see the 5 AM hiding under the white sticker what says 11 PM? I’m sure there’s a story behind that.

Anywho, this pop-up event is unexpected so it’s going to catch a lot of people by surprise.

What’s that, “outreach?” Oh yeah, Nike sent out a ton of letters to residents, customized for each mile of the route. I myself got one, but then forgot about it until I saw all these signs.

Nevertheless, even with the letters, this pop-up event is unexpected so it’s going to catch a lot of people by surprise. 

You’ll see.

A Grisly Warning for SFSU Students from the SFPD and Stonestown Galleria: Parking at the Mall Will Cost You $600 in Tow Fees

Friday, August 22nd, 2014

A pithy message from Zoo Station, aka SFPD Taraval:

SF STATE UNIVERSITY STUDENTS: Don’t PARK at Stonestown Mall & go to class or to any SCHOOL function!

Achtung, baby!

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OMG, Saturday Was Move-In Day 2014 at the University of San Francisco – The Great Tow-Away on Fulton

Monday, August 18th, 2014

If you ask me, Fulton should have traffic signals in the USF area. But nobody asked me, so what our horrible SFMTA did recently instead of that was to take out a couple lanes.

So now this stretch of has a lower capacity in exchange for a dubious stab at increased safety.

Anyway, this is new on me, but it looks like Fulton can no longer handle annual USF Move-In Day without it being a big event complete with cars getting towed, with extreme prejudice.  Ivan Valladares has the details:

I saw around 20 cars getting towed away this morning on Fulton street, I’m sure it was more then that, just because students were moving in to SF STATE [sic] and were exclusively using the right lane to line up. This city sucks.”

Here it is, complete with home-made signs directing traffic:

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Later in the day, the owner of this minivan parked at what’s normally a legal space for about ten minutes but then got swarmed by the popo with a quickness:

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Coors Truck Can’t Handle the Rocky Mountains of San Francisco: High-Centered in Nob Hill on a Very Steep Incline

Tuesday, July 15th, 2014

Adam Derewecki took this shot - he has the deets:

Reddit SF comments here.

In a Way, the Great Car Towaway of Bay to Breakers 2014 Has Already Begun – Will You Pass This Parking IQ Test?

Friday, May 16th, 2014

Begin:

Look at these workers throwing signs over parked cars and into Golden Gate Park just yesterday. SFGov is required to give a little notice, so this is how they do it. Is it enough? Well, IDK. It’s certainly not enough for some people. (But think of the poor tow truck drivers who want to rifle through your car for loose change and folding money – they’re sort of people too, right?)

Here’s what the signs say:

So if you see the signs and then make sure to move your car off of Fell or Hayes or all those other streets, you pass the test – cngrats.

But if you parked your car before the towaway signs  went up, well, you’ve been towed and that will run you somewhere between $500-$1000.

Welcome to San Francisco!

Snooty Sign in the Western Addition Thinks It’s Better Than You, And the Sign’s Owners Think They’re Better Than You As Well

Monday, February 24th, 2014

Just saying:

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Ask these people where they got the sign and they’ll tell you all about France and where their kids are going to college.

I’ll bet.

SFMTA DPT Graffiti: “GO SUCK A FAT DICK, YOU BITCH-ASS FAGS” – Written on SFGov Denver Boot #E23

Tuesday, December 17th, 2013

The owner of the car pictured below decided not to pay his parking tickets. So, this car sat around collecting tickets until AutoReturn or something similar came along to tow it away, with extreme prejudice.

(Right? Like why pay the SFMTA more than $1000 for a car that’s worth less than $1000…)

But before this car was abandoned forever, its owner made sure to let  the SFMTA know what he thought about the situation. To wit:

“EAT MY SHIT, YOU SHIT-EATING PIECES OF SHIT.”

Oh, that’s not nice!

Now, let’s check the stinger on the arm:

“GO SUCK A FAT DICK, YOU BITCH-ASS FAGS.”

See? “Moving Forward Together” with the SFMTA:

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Too bad Angle Grinder Man doesn’t reside in the 415…

In closing, Don’t Mess With Texas.

The Floating Helicopters of San Francisco – How Inflatable Airbags Help When Crash Landing in the Bay

Thursday, November 21st, 2013

These tourist choppers sometimes conk out near the Golden Gate Bridge and when that happens then only thing for the pilot to do is pop open the compressed gas container you can see there in order to inflate the six airbags you can also see there.

Then a call to the Coast Guard, which will give you a friendly tow to land, hurray!

It happens sometimes

Once Again, Tesla Motors CEO Elon Musk Proves Himself Wrong Over the Shortcomings of the Expensive Model S

Wednesday, February 20th, 2013

Let’s check in on troubled Tesla Motors’ troubled CEO, Elon Musk.

Here he is – please try to guess which photo here has Photoshopped footwear. It’s not easy:

You see, ’cause one’s a joke and the other, well, the other’s kind of a joke as well.

Oh well.

First of all, let’s examine the appropriate number of kids to have with a woman a’fore trading her in on a new model.

In Elon’s case, that number is five.

One

Two

Three

Four

Five

Five kids.

Then bam, you move on.

If you’re Elon.

And what does your first wife say to all this? She’s all, well at least Elon’s new gal isn’t a blonde.*

Cause you see, that would fit the profile of a stereotypical messianic middle-aged asshole CEO-type to a T.

Which rhymes with T (sort of).

Which stands for Trouble, Tesla, and The Times.

So let’s see, from the mouth of the horse, or jack-ass, your pick:

“NYTimes article about Tesla range in cold is fake. Vehicle logs tell true story that he didn’t actually charge to max & took a long detour.”

Well, as discussed here, that bit in the NYT (instigated by Tesla to show off its branded power stations) had issues.

But was it fake?

NO, NOT AT ALL.

So you were wrong, Elon.

And oh what’s that, you have the logs from the car, but not GPS data or recordings from Tesla Customer Service?

Isn’t that kind of funny?

And Elon, how much range should your six-figure car lose after parking it overnight when it’s cold?

What’s the appropriate amount?

And Elon, isn’t your Model S sort of a ridiculous vehicle being big on the outside (longer AND wider than an eight-passenger Toyota Land Cruiser) and small on the inside?

And Elon, didn’t you promise you’d deliver 5000 vehicles last year?

And are going to meet that goal? I don’t think so.

You see, a normal person would feel bad about breaking a promise.

Do you feel bad sometimes, you know, when all those things you’ve said would happen don’t actually happen, you know, actually and IRL?

I don’t know.

And oh, there’s this:

“Detail showing car driving around in circles in front of the Milford Supercharger trying to get Model S to stop.”

Would you like to correct that one, Elon?

Didn’t think so.

Hey Elon, if you’re so rich and confident, why don’t you use your own money to fund Tesla?

Hey Elon, if you’re so rich and confident, why don’t you guarantee the loan guarantee you worked out with the feds?

You know, so the taxpayers’ half a billion dollars wouldn’t be at risk.

So here’s your lesson, Elon:

Elon Musk and How Not to Handle a PR Crisis.

See how that works?

So this is wrong:

Yesterday, The New York Times reversed its opinion on the review of our Model S…”

Why don’t you correct yourself, Elon?

Oh, here’s somebody who’s not wedded to the idea of Tesla being the greatest corporation evah:

John Markoff ‏@markoff Excuse me Elon, but Margaret Sullivan does not speak for the NYT. Distortion to say the NYT “reversed.”

Oh Elon, will you ever win?

(And please pay back our money soon, m’kay? ‘Cause we’re still out for Solyndra ‘n stuff.)

*At least you didn’t shoot her through the bathroom door four times, srsly.