Posts Tagged ‘tow’

A Grisly Warning for SFSU Students from the SFPD and Stonestown Galleria: Parking at the Mall Will Cost You $600 in Tow Fees

Friday, August 22nd, 2014

A pithy message from Zoo Station, aka SFPD Taraval:

SF STATE UNIVERSITY STUDENTS: Don’t PARK at Stonestown Mall & go to class or to any SCHOOL function!

Achtung, baby!

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OMG, Saturday Was Move-In Day 2014 at the University of San Francisco – The Great Tow-Away on Fulton

Monday, August 18th, 2014

If you ask me, Fulton should have traffic signals in the USF area. But nobody asked me, so what our horrible SFMTA did recently instead of that was to take out a couple lanes.

So now this stretch of has a lower capacity in exchange for a dubious stab at increased safety.

Anyway, this is new on me, but it looks like Fulton can no longer handle annual USF Move-In Day without it being a big event complete with cars getting towed, with extreme prejudice.  Ivan Valladares has the details:

I saw around 20 cars getting towed away this morning on Fulton street, I’m sure it was more then that, just because students were moving in to SF STATE [sic] and were exclusively using the right lane to line up. This city sucks.”

Here it is, complete with home-made signs directing traffic:

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Later in the day, the owner of this minivan parked at what’s normally a legal space for about ten minutes but then got swarmed by the popo with a quickness:

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Coors Truck Can’t Handle the Rocky Mountains of San Francisco: High-Centered in Nob Hill on a Very Steep Incline

Tuesday, July 15th, 2014

Adam Derewecki took this shot - he has the deets:

Reddit SF comments here.

In a Way, the Great Car Towaway of Bay to Breakers 2014 Has Already Begun – Will You Pass This Parking IQ Test?

Friday, May 16th, 2014

Begin:

Look at these workers throwing signs over parked cars and into Golden Gate Park just yesterday. SFGov is required to give a little notice, so this is how they do it. Is it enough? Well, IDK. It’s certainly not enough for some people. (But think of the poor tow truck drivers who want to rifle through your car for loose change and folding money – they’re sort of people too, right?)

Here’s what the signs say:

So if you see the signs and then make sure to move your car off of Fell or Hayes or all those other streets, you pass the test – cngrats.

But if you parked your car before the towaway signs  went up, well, you’ve been towed and that will run you somewhere between $500-$1000.

Welcome to San Francisco!

Snooty Sign in the Western Addition Thinks It’s Better Than You, And the Sign’s Owners Think They’re Better Than You As Well

Monday, February 24th, 2014

Just saying:

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Ask these people where they got the sign and they’ll tell you all about France and where their kids are going to college.

I’ll bet.

SFMTA DPT Graffiti: “GO SUCK A FAT DICK, YOU BITCH-ASS FAGS” – Written on SFGov Denver Boot #E23

Tuesday, December 17th, 2013

The owner of the car pictured below decided not to pay his parking tickets. So, this car sat around collecting tickets until AutoReturn or something similar came along to tow it away, with extreme prejudice.

(Right? Like why pay the SFMTA more than $1000 for a car that’s worth less than $1000…)

But before this car was abandoned forever, its owner made sure to let  the SFMTA know what he thought about the situation. To wit:

“EAT MY SHIT, YOU SHIT-EATING PIECES OF SHIT.”

Oh, that’s not nice!

Now, let’s check the stinger on the arm:

“GO SUCK A FAT DICK, YOU BITCH-ASS FAGS.”

See? “Moving Forward Together” with the SFMTA:

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Too bad Angle Grinder Man doesn’t reside in the 415…

In closing, Don’t Mess With Texas.

The Floating Helicopters of San Francisco – How Inflatable Airbags Help When Crash Landing in the Bay

Thursday, November 21st, 2013

These tourist choppers sometimes conk out near the Golden Gate Bridge and when that happens then only thing for the pilot to do is pop open the compressed gas container you can see there in order to inflate the six airbags you can also see there.

Then a call to the Coast Guard, which will give you a friendly tow to land, hurray!

It happens sometimes

Once Again, Tesla Motors CEO Elon Musk Proves Himself Wrong Over the Shortcomings of the Expensive Model S

Wednesday, February 20th, 2013

Let’s check in on troubled Tesla Motors’ troubled CEO, Elon Musk.

Here he is – please try to guess which photo here has Photoshopped footwear. It’s not easy:

You see, ’cause one’s a joke and the other, well, the other’s kind of a joke as well.

Oh well.

First of all, let’s examine the appropriate number of kids to have with a woman a’fore trading her in on a new model.

In Elon’s case, that number is five.

One

Two

Three

Four

Five

Five kids.

Then bam, you move on.

If you’re Elon.

And what does your first wife say to all this? She’s all, well at least Elon’s new gal isn’t a blonde.*

Cause you see, that would fit the profile of a stereotypical messianic middle-aged asshole CEO-type to a T.

Which rhymes with T (sort of).

Which stands for Trouble, Tesla, and The Times.

So let’s see, from the mouth of the horse, or jack-ass, your pick:

“NYTimes article about Tesla range in cold is fake. Vehicle logs tell true story that he didn’t actually charge to max & took a long detour.”

Well, as discussed here, that bit in the NYT (instigated by Tesla to show off its branded power stations) had issues.

But was it fake?

NO, NOT AT ALL.

So you were wrong, Elon.

And oh what’s that, you have the logs from the car, but not GPS data or recordings from Tesla Customer Service?

Isn’t that kind of funny?

And Elon, how much range should your six-figure car lose after parking it overnight when it’s cold?

What’s the appropriate amount?

And Elon, isn’t your Model S sort of a ridiculous vehicle being big on the outside (longer AND wider than an eight-passenger Toyota Land Cruiser) and small on the inside?

And Elon, didn’t you promise you’d deliver 5000 vehicles last year?

And are going to meet that goal? I don’t think so.

You see, a normal person would feel bad about breaking a promise.

Do you feel bad sometimes, you know, when all those things you’ve said would happen don’t actually happen, you know, actually and IRL?

I don’t know.

And oh, there’s this:

“Detail showing car driving around in circles in front of the Milford Supercharger trying to get Model S to stop.”

Would you like to correct that one, Elon?

Didn’t think so.

Hey Elon, if you’re so rich and confident, why don’t you use your own money to fund Tesla?

Hey Elon, if you’re so rich and confident, why don’t you guarantee the loan guarantee you worked out with the feds?

You know, so the taxpayers’ half a billion dollars wouldn’t be at risk.

So here’s your lesson, Elon:

Elon Musk and How Not to Handle a PR Crisis.

See how that works?

So this is wrong:

Yesterday, The New York Times reversed its opinion on the review of our Model S…”

Why don’t you correct yourself, Elon?

Oh, here’s somebody who’s not wedded to the idea of Tesla being the greatest corporation evah:

John Markoff ‏@markoff Excuse me Elon, but Margaret Sullivan does not speak for the NYT. Distortion to say the NYT “reversed.”

Oh Elon, will you ever win?

(And please pay back our money soon, m’kay? ‘Cause we’re still out for Solyndra ‘n stuff.)

*At least you didn’t shoot her through the bathroom door four times, srsly.

Who Killed the Electric Car (Again)? Tesla CEO Elon Musk Did – “Stalled Out on Tesla’s Electric Highway”

Tuesday, February 12th, 2013

Vaunted Tesla Motors’ vaunted Model S sedan getting towed at the end of a New York Times test drive:

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Oh Elon Musk, will you ever win?

Oh Elon Musk, your jackassery actually hurts the industry you’re trying to promote.

Oh Tesla CEO and media criticElon Musk, don’t you yourself burn far, far more petroleum than the average American? Like you get a loan from the taxpayers and a good chunk of that money goes to paying your aviation fuel costs, to the tune of hundreds of thousands of dollars?

Isn’t it ironic?

Dont’cha think?

Read the news and turn the pages/

Watch them play a different game/

And [soon enough] no one knows your name

 

 

Holy Toledo! Official San Francisco Contractor AutoReturn Advertises Bible Verses While Towing Cars in the 415?

Friday, November 9th, 2012

WTF is this? Is this a tow truck towing cars in the Financial under authority of the contract AutoReturn has with SFGov?

I think so!

And yet, in addition to charging you $500 for towing away your ride for being just 13 minutes late, AutoReturn wants to be involved with giving you a lecture from the King James.

Check it: 

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I cry foul.

For the record, PSALM 23:

The Lord is my Shepherd; I shall not want.
He maketh me to lie down in green pastures:
He leadeth me beside the still waters.
He restoreth my soul:
He leadeth me in the paths of righteousness for His name’ sake.

Yea, though I walk through the valley of the shadow of death,
I will fear no evil: For thou art with me;
Thy rod and thy staff, they comfort me.
Thou preparest a table before me in the presence of mine enemies;
Thou annointest my head with oil; My cup runneth over.

Surely goodness and mercy shall follow me all the days of my life,
and I will dwell in the House of the Lord forever.

And then I’ll tow your car.

Sometimes, I just don’t know…

“The colonel’s hostility softened gradually as he applied himself to details. “Now, I want you to give a lot of thought to the kind of prayers we’re going to say. I don’t want anything heavy or sad. I’d like you to keep it light and snappy, something that will send the boys out feeling pretty good. Do you know what I mean? I don’t want any of this Kingdom of God or Valley of Death stuff. That’s all too negative. What are you making such a sour face for?”

“I’m sorry, sir,” the chaplain stammered. “I happened to be thinking of the Twenty-third Psalm just as you said that.”

“How does that one go?”

“That’s the one you were just referring to, sir. ‘The Lord is my shepherd; I—’”

“That’s the one I was just referring to. It’s out. What else have you got?”

“‘Save me, O God; for the waters are come in unto—’”

“No waters,” the colonel decided, blowing ruggedly into his cigarette holder after flipping the butt down into his combed-brass ash tray. “Why don’t we try something musical? How about the harps on the willows?”

“That has the rivers of Babylon in it, sir,” the chaplain replied. “‘…there we sat down, yea, we wept, when we remembered Zion.’”

“Zion? Let’s forget about that one right now. I’d like to know how that one ever got in there. Haven’t you got anything humorous that stays away from waters and valleys and God? I’d like to keep away from the subject of religion altogether if we can.”

The chaplain was apologetic. “I’m sorry, sir, but just about all the prayers I know are rather somber in tone and make at least some passing reference to God.”

“Then let’s get some new ones. The men are already doing enough bitching about the missions I send them on without our rubbing it in with any sermons about God or death or Paradise. Why can’t we take a more positive approach? Why can’t we all pray for something good, like a tighter bomb pattern, for example? Couldn’t we pray for a tighter bomb pattern?”

“Well, yes, sir, I suppose so,” the chaplain answered hesitantly. “You wouldn’t even need me if that’s all you wanted to do. You could do that yourself.”

“I know I could,” the colonel responded tartly. “But what do you think you’re here for? I could shop for my own food, too, but that’s Milo’s job, and that’s why he’s doing it for every group in the area. Your job is to lead us in prayer, and from now on you’re going to lead us in a prayer for a tighter bomb pattern before every mission. Is that clear? I think a tighter bomb pattern is something really worth praying for. It will be a feather in all our caps with General Peckem. General Peckem feels it makes a much nicer aerial photograph when the bombs explode close together.”