Posts Tagged ‘tow’

When the SFMTA Puts a “Denver Boot” on Your Car, Feel Free to Reply With an Obscene Message, Like This One

Monday, August 20th, 2012

This car isn’t going to be rescued by its owner. This car is going to sit around collecting tickets until AutoReturn or something similar comes along to tow it away, with extreme prejudice.

(Right? Like why pay the SFMTA more than $1000 for a car worth less than $1000…)

But before you abandon your ride forever, be sure to let the SFMTA know what you think about it. To wit:

“EAT MY SHIT, YOU SHIT-EATING PIECES OF SHIT.”

Oh, that’s not nice!

Now, let’s check the stinger on the arm:

“GO SUCK A FAT DICK, YOU BITCH-ASS FAGS.”

See? “Moving Forward Together” with the SFMTA:

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Too bad Angle Grinder Man doesn’t reside in the 415…

In closing, Don’t Mess With Texas.

Another Salvo Against that “AutoReturn” Towing Company from One of Its “Victims,” Writer CW Nevius

Tuesday, August 14th, 2012

Here’s the latest anti-Auto Return bit from CW Nevius.

I don’t know, Neve, what do you want? It sounds like you want the City Family to fight harder for the Commonweal, to make better deals when it deals with private companies.

And that’s fine, but you’re a little inconsistent, you dig?

Speaking of digging, what about the corrupt Central Subway project? The last you wrote about that was all the way back in 2008. Why is it that you write about little fish like Auto Return but not big fish like, I don’t know, AECOM?

Oh what’s that, you actually think the Central Subway is a horrible execution of a bad idea but you don’t want to offend all your sources in the City Family? That’s pretty weak, Neve.

Or what about the America’s Cup boondoggle that you used to cheer lead for so much. Didn’t The City strike a bad deal with AC34?

And what about Recology? You seem to support that expensive monopoly and its dealings.

But that’s small potatoes compared with the deal San Francisco made with Auto Return?

What do you want, you want to get rid of the AutoReturn contract and then hire a bunch of expensive new City employees to tow cars? I guarantee you that that would cost SF more money.

Or maybe you want tow fees to be increased overall in order to subsidize police tows?

Or maybe you want revenge against the company what towed your ride last year, you know, when you were a naive newcomer in the 415?

I think that’s it!

We’ve made a lot of progress today, CW. Leave your check with my secretary on the way out…

Ah, mem’ries:

The Biggest Mistake That AutoReturn Towing Company Ever Made was Towing C.W. Nevius Earlier This Year

Right? ‘Cause after the car of C.W. Nevius got towed in February, he stepped up his campaign against AutoReturn, the company what gets called by DPT / SFMTA when your car is blocking rush hour traffic.

So nowadays, he considers San Francisco’s policy of towing away cars blocking rush hour lanes a “scam,” which means he thinks the whole process is a “fraudulent business scheme.”

Does he think that the SFMTA should just leave cars untouched, making all those “NO STOPPING, NO PARKING” signs merely advisory?

It’s not clear.

Oh well.

AutoReturn: Our name makes us sound like we’re a department of the SFPD – isn’t that funny? WERE UNDER UR FREEWAY, DETAINING UR CARZ:

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Now, what the Auto Return tow truck driver should have done was make up some excuse instead of towing the ride of The Nevius on that Fateful Day. You know, “technical difficulties” or something like that to buy some more time for the San Francisco Chronicle’s least intelligent employee. That would have allowed the Neve to correct his mistake by simply hopping in and driving off to the East Bay or wherever the hell he lives these days.

It wouldn’t be hard to implement a NO TOW NEVIUS policy. You know, back in the day, Willie Brown used to get pulled over all the time by the CHP when he was driving waaaaay too fast* on the I-80 back and forth to Sacramento. After Willie got stopped twice in one trip, he put a hold on the CHP’s budget. So the CHP issued Willie’s photo to all the officers on I-80 with instructions to “memorize this face” in order to give Willie favorable treatment. (Read the whole story below.) The point is that AutoReturn should find which cars CW Nevius parks illegally on the Streets of San Francisco and then give a picture of each one to all their tow truck drivers and then tell them“DO NOT TOW THESE PARTICULAR CARS!”

Bingo bango.

“From UC Press E-Books Collection, 1982-2004 (formerly eScholarship Editions), it’s: 

Willie Brown, A Biography by James Richardson

From four decades ago, Chapter 15, Mr. Chairman:

“One afternoon Brown briskly walked into a budget conference committee meeting late and looking angry. He immediately sat down next to [Senator] Collier and asked for a “point of personal privilege.” Collier granted him the courtesy, and Brown asked to return to an item in the budget to appropriate funds to purchase guns and other equipment for the California Highway Patrol. Brown then demanded that the funds be deleted from the budget. The trust between the two was so great that Collier asked no questions, immediately complied, and struck the CHP equipment appropriation.

At the end of the meeting, [aide Robert] Connelly asked his boss what was going on with the Highway  Patrol. “He was so mad, he wouldn’t talk about it.” Finally, Brown told Connelly that he had been stopped not once but twice by CHP officers that day on his way to Sacramento from San Francisco along Interstate 80 in his bright red Porsche. Each time, the officers walked over to Brown and said, “Hey, boy, where’d you get this car?”

Connelly quickly found the CHP’s lobbyist and told him what had happened. “The guy’s eyeballs rolled clear back into his skull. He said, ‘We’ll fix it.’” By the next morning, the CHP was distributing photographs of Willie Brown to officers along the Interstate 80 corridor between San Francisco and Sacramento with orders to “memorize this face.” The CHP got its appropriation back—and more.

Brown championed pay raises for CHP officers by authoring a bill that tied their salaries to a formula based on the salaries of large municipal police forces. The measure gave Highway Patrol officers a windfall raise, and then an automatic pay raise every time one of the unionized city forces got a new contract.”

*You’d see him go past as a red blur, hauling ass. He had a Porsche 911, a Mazda Miata (sold to him at a discount, you know, cause Willie is special), an Acura NSX (sold to him at a discount, per the instructions of Honda USA, you know, because Willie is special), and others.

It Takes a Village of Tow Trucks to Tow Motorcycles from the Financh – Why DPT/MUNI, Why?

Thursday, July 26th, 2012

I suppose the DPT called the tow trucks out here, where Sutter and Sansome start, because some people accumulated five or more parking citations.

And you can’t put a Denver Boot on a motosickle, I figure.

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Oh well.

Tow them away, boys. MUNI needs its money…

Noe Valley’s 23rd Street Proves Too Much for This Google Bus – Its Rear End Gets Stuck at the Bottom of a Hill

Sunday, June 10th, 2012

Oh well:

Via Jim Greer of online gaming site Kongregate - click to expand

Google Bus/

Google Bus/

It’s not your fault

Wouldn’t the Google Bus have been better off on 24th? I think so.

And hey, didn’t former Supervisor Bevan Dufty meet with area NIMBY’s to iron things out a half-decade ago?

I think so. Actually, I know so. It looked like this:

But the wealthy, white, wizened NIMBYs of Noe still weren’t satisfied.

Oh well.

I hope you’re happy, NIMBIES! Look what you made Google do.

(Or maybe the driver just got lost. You’d think he’d have a map with no-go areas marked out.)

(Do Googlers Google on Sundays? Not that I know of, but they go on fun field trips from time to time, wine tastings and the like, I hear.)

I’ll tell you, Google prolly hasn’t been this embarrassed since that federal cop busted the Maps Car in the Presidio.

Here’s the chase, recorded by Google itself:

And here’s the bust, apparently for not getting a permit from the Presidio Trust after the Presidio Trust told Google it would need a permit:

All right, let’s be careful out there, Google!

How to Tell that the DPT Really, Really Doesn’t Like You: The Chalking of the Hong Fook Center Econoline

Wednesday, November 30th, 2011

Of course, DPT needed to chalk the tires on this Ford, but look how it was done:

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This chalking was done in anger, looks like.

DPT: Tough People, Good Jobs 

The Biggest Mistake That AutoReturn Towing Company Ever Made was Towing C.W. Nevius Earlier This Year

Tuesday, October 25th, 2011

Right? ‘Cause after the car of C.W. Nevius got towed in February, he stepped up his campaign against AutoReturn, the company what gets called by DPT / SFMTA when your car is blocking rush hour traffic.

So nowadays, he considers San Francisco’s policy of towing away cars blocking rush hour lanes a “scam,” which means he thinks the whole process is a “fraudulent business scheme.”

Does he think that the MTA should just leave cars untouched, making all those “NO STOPPING, NO PARKING” signs merely advisory?

It’s not clear.

Oh well.

AutoReturn: Our name makes us sound like we’re a department of the SFPD – isn’t that funny? WERE UNDER UR FREEWAY, DETAINING UR CARZ:

Click to expand

Now, what the Auto Return tow truck driver should have done was make up some excuse instead of towing the ride of The Nevius on that Fateful Day. You know, “technical difficulties” or something like that to buy some more time for the San Francisco Chronicle’s least intelligent employee. That would have allowed the Neve to correct his mistake by simply hopping in and driving off to the East Bay or wherever the hell he lives these days.

It wouldn’t be hard to implement a NO TOW NEVIUS policy. You know, back in the day, Willie Brown used to get pulled over all the time by the CHP when he was driving waaaaay too fast* on the I-80 back and forth to Sacramento. After Willie got stopped twice in one trip, he put a hold on the CHP’s budget. So the CHP issued Willie’s photo to all the officers on I-80 with instructions to “memorize this face” in order to give Willie favorable treatment. (Read the whole story below.) The point is that AutoReturn should find which cars CW Nevius parks illegally on the Streets of San Francisco and then give a picture of each one to all their tow truck drivers and then tell them “DO NOT TOW THESE PARTICULAR CARS!”

Bingo bango.

“From UC Press E-Books Collection, 1982-2004 (formerly eScholarship Editions), it’s: 

Willie Brown, A Biography by James Richardson

From four decades ago, Chapter 15, Mr. Chairman:

“One afternoon Brown briskly walked into a budget conference committee meeting late and looking angry. He immediately sat down next to [Senator] Collier and asked for a “point of personal privilege.” Collier granted him the courtesy, and Brown asked to return to an item in the budget to appropriate funds to purchase guns and other equipment for the California Highway Patrol. Brown then demanded that the funds be deleted from the budget. The trust between the two was so great that Collier asked no questions, immediately complied, and struck the CHP equipment appropriation.

At the end of the meeting, [aide Robert] Connelly asked his boss what was going on with the Highway  Patrol. “He was so mad, he wouldn’t talk about it.” Finally, Brown told Connelly that he had been stopped not once but twice by CHP officers that day on his way to Sacramento from San Francisco along Interstate 80 in his bright red Porsche. Each time, the officers walked over to Brown and said, “Hey, boy, where’d you get this car?”

Connelly quickly found the CHP’s lobbyist and told him what had happened. “The guy’s eyeballs rolled clear back into his skull. He said, ‘We’ll fix it.’” By the next morning, the CHP was distributing photographs of Willie Brown to officers along the Interstate 80 corridor between San Francisco and Sacramento with orders to “memorize this face.” The CHP got its appropriation back—and more.

Brown championed pay raises for CHP officers by authoring a bill that tied their salaries to a formula based on the salaries of large municipal police forces. The measure gave Highway Patrol officers a windfall raise, and then an automatic pay raise every time one of the unionized city forces got a new contract.”

*You’d see him go past as a red blur, hauling ass. He had a Porsche 911, a Mazda Miata (sold to him at a discount, you know, cause Willie is special), an Acura NSX (sold to him at a discount, per the instructions of Honda USA, you know, because Willie is special), and others.

Usurpation Update: Bluebird Cleaners on Clement in the Richmond District Improperly Threatens to Tow Cars From Green Zone

Monday, October 24th, 2011

Well, this one should be simple:

Green zones and green meters are for public use and are not reserved for particular establishments.”

And yet:

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Also, if you want a wedding dress cleaned the charge is $140, but if you go someplace else and say it’s a Black and White Ball dress, then the charge is just $15. And, of course at Bluebird Cleaners, girls pay more, as always. It’s all on the Yelp.

Why do people out in the West Bay think they own the streets adjacent to their private property?

Oh well.

“Green zones are for short-term parking, generally less than 10 minutes. In non-metered areas, green zones are indicated by a green curb marking with a ten-minute time limit. Standard effective hours are 9 a.m. until 6 p.m., Monday through Saturday.

In metered areas, short-term parking can be designated by a green meter with either a 15- or 30-minute time limit, in lieu of a painted curb. The effective hours for green meters are the same hours of operation as adjacent meters. Green zones and green meters are for public use and are not reserved for particular establishments. Please also note that vehicles bearing disabled placards or plates are exempt from the time limits for green zones or green meters.

Green zones or limited time meters are not intended for private parking. Such zones are intended for establishments where transactions are predominantly short-term – 10 minutes – in nature.  Typical establishments that may qualify for a green zone are dry cleaners, florists, small neighborhood grocery/deli convenience stores, audio-visual repair shops, shoe repair shops, postal shipping centers, and hardware stores.  Other establishments are reviewed on a case-by case basis. Among other reasons, green zone requests may be denied if private off-street parking is available, there are adjacent limited time zones nearby, or the establishment’s transactions are not predominantly short-term in nature.

A processing fee is required for either a green zone or a green meter. If approved at the public hearing, painted green zones are required to be renewed every two years thereafter; see the white/green zone fee schedule.  When applying for a painted green zone, please do not combine processing with painting/installation fees. Please send only the processing fee with your application. Green meter zones are not required to be renewed and there is no paint/installation fee.”

When You Visit San Francisco, Don’t Forget to Bring Your Dune Buggy – Tow It All Over Town, Why Not?

Monday, April 25th, 2011

Thusly:

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Some art students should park a rig like this overnight on Turk in the “Uptown” Tenderloin (“Near Union Square!”) with a video camera fixed on it. You know, just to see what would happen to the buggy. Good times…

When a #1 California Bus Breaks Down in Chinatown, MUNI Needs the Biggest Tow Truck in the World

Friday, April 8th, 2011

A Peterbilt with ten wheels, actually.

It looked longer than the California 1AX Express it was set to tow…

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The Most Parking Citations I’ve Ever Seen on One Side of a Car Parked in San Francisco

Tuesday, March 29th, 2011

The other side this Chrysler product had a few as well.

Since this shot was taken, the City came along and added a tow-a-way sign.

It won’t be long now…

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