Posts Tagged ‘transit’

Stupor Bowl: Our Clumsy SFMTA Mistakenly Offers Up a Platform for People to Complain About Super Bowl 50 Disruptions

Wednesday, January 20th, 2016

Well here it is:

5 Tips for Getting Around SF During Super Bowl 50

And here’s just part of the reaction:

“Dear Aaron. Really, just blithely change your working hours or take vacation? Many of us can’t do that. Maybe you could acknowledge (without being snarky or a d bag) that this is going to screw a lot of people…”

“Here’s a big hint, SFMTA: 90% of the people who actually live and work in SF do not give a s#$t about the NFL or this party. We are not going to be happy about it no matter how much you try to spin it.”

“I’ve been following this fiasco and planned for a 1 week hiatus but 3 weeks?! And you’re just notifying Commuters now?!”

It goes on and on.

And, mind you, this Comments section, which looks like something you’d see on Reddit, SFGate or SFist, is being hosted at SFMTA.com.

QUESTION: Why does our sad-sack, POS local transit system feel the need to cheerlead for NFL Enterprises LLC?

Don’t Laugh: If You Had San Francisco’s Abysmal SFMTA MUNI for YOUR Transit System, This is How You’d Get Around Too

Wednesday, January 13th, 2016

Possibly:

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Bundle up – El Nino is upon us…

Word on the Street: “TRY TRANSIT”

Tuesday, January 12th, 2016

You know, if you want, ‘n stuff:

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Just think about it, sometime, if you want, JMO

Frisco Update: What’s “OUR VERSION OF THE LOUVRE” Museum? – It’s Levi’s Stadium, Per the Super Bowl L Host Committee

Tuesday, December 22nd, 2015

[UPDATE: Well I can’t really change the headline now, but perhaps it’s Levi’s Stadium itself running these ads? IDK.]

In the words of Hannibal Lecter, WHAT COULD BE MORE OFFENSIVE?

Via Reader James Corrigan comes this:

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(I thought it was officially Super Bowl L, but I guess we want to Keep Things Simple for fans by calling it SB 50?)

I’ll tell you, I know people who spend three(!) hours a day getting back and forth to northern Santa Clara County and that’s with the benefit of carpool lanes. But if you want to spend your time (what, four hours?) going to and coming back from Much Further South, like all the way down to the city of Santa Clara, well then be my guest. (Bring money.)

What are the headwinds here? Domestic Violence? Concussion Dangers? Losing Record? Personal Seat Licenses Dropping In Value By 80%? Coldplay? (Fucking) Train? Addled Transit In The 415 With Zero Compensation From The NFL / Our Vaunted Host Committee? (Hoist Committee? Heist Committee?)

IDK, man.

LEVI’S STADIUM, I served with THE LOUVRE.* I knew THE LOUVRE.*  THE LOUVRE was a friend of mine.* LEVI’S STADIUM, you’re no THE LOUVRE.

Let’s mark this down as 2015’s Most Offensive Pop-Up Ad of the Year.

*Oh, not actually – I’ve never been to Paris. 

EVENT: “Affordable Divis Community Planning Workshop” Coming to THE INDEPENDENT Saturday, December 5th 2015 – Character, Housing, Transit, Infrastructure

Monday, November 23rd, 2015

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AFTER BARTY: I Finally Understand Lyft’s new FRIENDS WITH TRANSIT Campaign – But Lyft has NO IDEA How Slow our SFMTA MUNI Can Be

Monday, November 23rd, 2015

Here’s a new one – another Friends With Transit ad:

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Now this ad I get – it’s saying how Lyft can become your “last mile” transportation solution.

Fine, but this ad here, the one I saw first seems to equate our MUNI METRO service as something akin to a fast, reliable transit system. Perhaps it might seem that the 415 has something like that to young people in NYC or whatever or whomever or wherever, but IRL you wouldn’t suffer through an N Judah ride only to take a Lyft taxi a few hundred yards north to (your home / tent / self-dug hobbit hole in) Golden Gate Park.

Now, why would our slow, corrupt SFMTA appreciate these ads? Well, it’s money for partner ClearChannel and the SFMTA, plus it’s saying how Lyft is compatible with transit, as opposed to, you know, Lyft “disrupting” the SFMTA by siphoning money away from it.

So IDK, Frisco has a ton of bus stops all over town, so I think ppl would simply walk the last quarter mile or less it takes to get home. Perhaps this ad campaign makes sense in less urban areas?

Perhaps..

Let’s See Here: A Chariot Private Shuttle Van Running Through Golden Gate Park on a National Holiday?

Friday, November 13th, 2015

Hey, are San Francisco taxicabs somewhat restricted* in Golden Gate Park? Yes, yes they are. But here comes a Chariot:

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Does Chariot take people to work in the Financh on Veterans Day? IDK. Does Chariot run charters on big holidays? Perhaps. Or maybe the driver is repositioning or traveling for maintenance. Or maybe there’s some other reason it makes sense for this driver to “cut-through” the park.

Anyway, I was surprised to see a Chariot in GGP on a national holiday…

*I think cabbies** aren’t supposed to cruise the park for pick-ups, I think that’s the rule.

**Cabbies cabbies cabbies – own it, cabbies. This term isn’t offensive at all, to most.

So Lyft is Paying Our SFMTA to Put Up Bus Stop Ads That Make Lyft Look Like a Transit System? “STOPS THAT JUST WON’T STOP”

Thursday, November 5th, 2015

Sure looks that way

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So what if a an Airbnber from Italy stopped rolling his luggage down Hayes and asked me, “Excuse please, what mean this?” Like, what would I say?

IDK. Lyft is a taxi service, I’d say. But I wouldn’t be able to explain the graphic or what STOPS THAT JUST WON’T STOP means.

Oh well.

A Call for Artists: Sue-Happy “SF Beautiful” Org + SFMTA’s MUNI Buses = A Chance to Display Your Art

Thursday, May 28th, 2015

Let’s see if I can pay off on this headline here.

San Francisco Beautiful is a 501(c)(3) what likes to sue us, the People of San Francisco. Last I saw, they got spanked by some appellate judges and the Wealthy Wizened White people of SFB said they were weighing their options, oh well.

And MUNI, well that’s America’s Slowest Big-City Transit System, right? (Ask about our hidebound ‘work-rules’ what have accumulated over the years – we’ve got a lot!”)

Put them together and you’ve got the ‘MUNI Art’ Call for Artists.

And here’s your compensation:

“This is a high visibility opportunity for artists to have their work seen by thousands of persons daily”

Oh, and maybe you’ll make a couple thou to boot.

Also, resumes are required.

Now an art car has had its exterior prettified, made beautiful, but an “art bus” looks just like any other bus, oh well. Your winning piece won’t be seen by the millions outside of MUNI buses, oh no, oh well. (And please note that your art can’t promote the use of cars as transportation, under MUNI’s advertising rules. Hey, why not make your bus art an image of an art bus? It could work!)

Have at it:

Call for Artists
San Francisco Beautiful presents: MUNI Art
Application Deadline: June 19, 2015
Project Description
SF Beautiful is inviting artists to create original artwork to be digitally reproduced for display within 50 Muni Art buses in San Francisco this fall (2015).The artist will retain ownership of the artwork. This is a new initiative of SF Beautiful, in partnership with SFMTA. This is a high visibility opportunity for artists to have their work seen by thousands of persons daily.
5 winning designs will be selected by a public vote from a pool of pre qualified finalists. Each of the 5 artists will have their work displayed in 10 buses for a period of three months. No advertising will be displayed in the buses during this period.
Eligibility
Applicants must live in one of the following Bay Area counties:
• Alameda County
• Contra Costa County
• Marin County
• Napa County
• San Francisco County
• San Mateo County
• Santa Clara County
• Solano County
• Sonoma County
Theme
Artists who are selected as finalists are encouraged to develop designs that are evocative of “The Spirit of San Francisco.”
This can be broadly interpreted and should be appropriate for the context in which it will be displayed.
Selection Process
Stage 1:
Complete applications will be vetted by a Review Committee comprised of local gallery owners and art institutions.
Applications will be considered based on their eligibility, application materials, and adherence to SFMTA’s advertising policy, on pages 4 & 5.
Stage 2:
Finalists will submit initial designs that will be presented to the public through an online voting system.
Applying
Applications must include the following:
1. 1-page project proposal including:
a. Project Description (text only, no visuals of project at this time)
b. How your project relates to the theme – “The Spirit of San Francisco”
c. If your project will be continuous or multiple panels (example on page 3)
2. 1-page resume
3. No more than 4 images of previous work (submitted as Microsoft Word or PDF document)
a. Include medium, dimensions, date, and a brief description for each image

“Emergency Ride Home” – Will San Francisco Pay For Your Taxi Ride Home If You Bike to Work and Get a Flat Tire? Yes

Tuesday, April 28th, 2015

Here it is, from the San Francisco Department of the Environment:

Emergency Ride Home

This program is similar to those offered by Stanford U, UCMarin County and your major corporations.*

So, if you power your Nissan Leaf all-electric car or ZERO all-electric motorcycle with clean Hetch Hetchy hydroelectricity, SFGov is saying that your commute to work isn’t “sustainable.” OTOH, if you ride in a diesel MUNI bus, your commute is “sustainable? OK, maybe.

Hey, what about the method that SFGov uses to fund retirement pay and medical benefits for all its employees, past, present, and future? Is that sustainable, SFGov? Oh no? OK, SFGov.

And if one of my bikes gets a flat tire, have I ever said to myself, “Oh no, it’s an emergency!”

Nope.

But one supposes that if you had some free money to spend and you wanted to appeal to your bo-bo constituancy, you’d offer the same program.

ASSIGNMENT DESK: Well, this one writes itself. The hardest part will be finding an appealing subject who’s actually used this program already. Take some photos of the victim, you know, probably a her, and make sure have the Financh in the background in the photos, and then throw in a few quotes from a Department Head, and BAM! – you’ve got yourself a Story.

End Of Line

*At some places down in the valley, if you get sick at work your Free Ride Home will be so, so baller, you’ll feel like a billionaire, you know, temporarily anyway, and you’ll tell all your friends about it, and they’ll be so impressed.

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