Posts Tagged ‘UPTOWN ALMANAC’

Huge Panel of Glass Crashes Into the Twitterloin – Photo of Scene Near Twitter and NeMA – Crystal Blue Dissuasion

Thursday, January 16th, 2014

Today’s lunchtime scene of the the Mid-Market Twitterloin Tax-Free Enterprise Zone via Kevin Montgomery and his excellent Uptown Almanac site:

“Outside Twitter HQ, a giant window pane falls. Man on the street starts yelling ‘Crystal Blue! Heiiisenberggg!’”  

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Did all this glass (you tell me, glaziers – Azuria (nee Azurlite?) fall from a truck or did it come from up high? IDK.

I’ll tell you, the whole reason that Twitter has a bad image around town started off with this:

Prospective Twitter Landlord Gave Newsom Rent Deal

In fact, you all might have better off moving to Brisbane after all, Twitter. A fair percentage of your employees would have preferred that, actually. And it’s not too late to pay your taxes, you know. Why not go back and redo your taxes using the laws that existed a decade ago, the ones signed into law by… former Mayor Gavin Newsom? Yes he signed a payroll tax law that caught part of a company’s stock options when they went public. Why not figure this amount and just donate it to the SF General Fund? People would appreciate it.

The Case Against Gannett Co Inc’s “The Bold Italic” Website – Exh 1: Dismal, Dismal Numbers

Wednesday, February 27th, 2013

The question is whether The Bold Italic website from Gannett Company, Incorporated (NYSEGCI,FWBGTTS&P 500 Component) is “villainous” – that’s the talk of the town, lately.

To wit:

“They’re hardly the villains in this town.”

Well let’s see.

I’ll tell you, over the years I thought that TBI was just one dude, a dude that I came across all the way back in 2010. He was proud that the average TBI visitor stayed on the site or on a webpage or something for like five minutes. Now we’ll see about that stat in a moment, but I’m just shocked that TBI has/had all those employees plus a custom-made clubhouse in Hayes Valley. That’s where I’m coming from.

Hey did you know that’s there’s a website called The Gannett Blog and it’s based in San Francisco? (I didn’t.) Anywho, let’s hear about the TBI from Anonymous:

The revenue plan was mysterious because there was no revenue. Not for the first 24 months anyway. The Bold Italic had a burn rate that rivals some of the most infamous dot.com fizz outs. They blew through $2 million a year for the first 2 years, before snagging a whopping $41k in revenue based on their skimming from entertainment ticket / event sales.”

Is that true? I don’t know. But where did that $41k figure come from? Such specificity!

Of course public relations doctrine from your S&P 500 type of companies is to say that such a specific statement such as this is “false” or “way off.”

That kind of thing is called a pregnant denial by some.

So, has The Gannet Company, Incorporated spent millions and millions of dollars on The TBI the past few years?

Sure looks that way.

Wow.

That’s starting to remind me of The Bay Citizen, actually.

(Of course the TBC produced a lot of great journalism, IMO.)

So that’s one side of the ledger, millions upon millions spent, or wasted, whichever, but what about revenue coming in? What about the number of readers, for example.

Let’s check Alexa, The Web Information Company.

Ooh, here’s something:

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The above graph show what the Alexa people think has been going on the past week. The San Francisco Chronicle / SFGate.com is in there as a baseline – it’s consistently something like the 1000th most popular website in the world, or something. No surprise there.

And look, this pathetic blog, the one you’re looking at right now, the one filled with animal photos and whatnot, the one with overhead of less than $100 per year, managed to make the grade as well. I can assure you that this is anomalous – either it’s a mistake or maybe a big website pointed to one bit and that generated a burst of traffic. I don’t actually know, or care to know, to be honest, and even if I did, I don’t know how to find out, oh well.

The real test is how TBI does compared with someplace like SFist, which is basically run by one dude. Check out Alexa – you can see that TBI gets beat by SFist consistently and thoroughly, week after week, month after month, year after year.

Ouch.

And I suspect that blue bump you see up there, when TBI clearly broke into top 100,000 territory, mostly had to do with the controversy related to a recent post from KevMo, Kevin Montgomery of TUA, The Uptown Almanac.

Mmmm.

And even that minutes-spent-onsite-per-visitor stat, the one that’s supposed to Have Meaning, turns out to be three minutes for both The TBI and SFist.com

Mmmm.

Of course there are other ways of getting revenue than simply having people look at your site.

Like there’s “partnerships” ‘n stuff.

That issue will be Exhibit 2 in the case against TBI.

(I haven’t proven villainousness yet, I’ll agree. I’m still on the fence. But I’ll look into it.)

All right, TBC, To Be Continued…

KevMo in 2012: Kevin Montgomery’s Semi-Serious Run for District 9 Supervisor Against David Campos

Monday, April 2nd, 2012

Well it looks like the Upcoming Races Page at The Usual Suspects might need to get updated for District 9 because Uptown Almanac’s Kevin Montgomery declared himself a candidate for the Board of Supervisors on April 1, 2012:

KevMo 2012 from daniel jarvis on Vimeo.

Hahahaha, jk?

I think his pro-cell phone reception platform will prove popular…

That’s Califorya: Another Excellent Capture from Kevin Montgomery of the Uptown Almanac

Tuesday, June 21st, 2011

The best mural ever, as shown at the Uptown Almanac:

Click to expand - Team 1:AM, 5th and Folsom

Speechless I am.

Blast by Colt 45: Debut Party for Fruity Malt Liquor at 111 Minna a Huge Success Last Night

Friday, April 15th, 2011

The Uptown Almanac‘s launch party for Colt 45‘s new Blast beverage was a huge success yesterday night.

Man, this stuff has so much sugar in it, you can’t taste the 12% alcohol at all. At least that was the case for Purple. Here are the tasting notes for Blue:

“Combines the sweet yet smooth taste of blueberries with the tart finish of pomegranate juice to create a unique flavor that is as bright and bold as the liquid color itself.”

OK fine. A good time was had by all, I’m sure.

The Blast by Colt 45 Ladeez were having fun:

And Snoop Doggy Dog was there in spirit, if not in actuality:

We’ll just have to wait and see if it, “Works Every Time,” as Snoop Dog claims…

Ten-Foot Tall Cyclone Fence Keeps the Great Buddha of Civic Center Safe from Giants Fans and Vandalizers

Wednesday, November 3rd, 2010

Thank Gaia that Rec and Park is keeping our Giant Buddha safe from the madding crowd today:

See the fence? It should come down by tomorrow, November 4th, after the crowd has left:

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UPDATE: Oh no, blogged too soon! Appears as if some fans managed to get a better vantage point, at the risk of enraging Gaia, the Earth Goddess:

See Comments.

http://img80.imageshack.us/img80/1329/dsc1158u.jpg

Our Graffitoed Giant Buddha in Civic Center Got All Cleaned Up Yesterday

Friday, June 25th, 2010

Remember back earlier this month when people promoting Kodak’s version of a Flip camera thought it was all viral to vandalise the giant 15-ton Buddha down in Civic Center? Well, the sculpture is all cleaned up now. Let’s take a look.

Here’s a screen grab from the now-censored Kodak viral marketing video. (You can still see the shorter, censored 4:13 version here.) 

Click to expand.

No attempt was made to clean things up for a while so here’s the way it looked when I was taking some girl to the Costco on Wednesday:

See? (There was other graffiti elsewhere of course.)

Well, check it, it’s all cleaned up now. They must have done this Thursday A.M. As it looks today:

Sacrilege never looked so good.

I’m calling this an A-one clean-up job.

Censored Viral Video for Kodak Play Sport Camera Shows Giant Buddha Graffiti Culprit

Thursday, June 17th, 2010

I haven’t seen the “Jesus is the Onegraffito on our giant Shanghai Buddha down in Civic Center, but I did manage to catch some tagging and stickering.

See?

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Now yesterday, Jackson West pointed out that a stickerer of the Buddha was “caught on tape” (so to speak) on one of a series of videos being used to promote Kodak’s new Flip-like digital video camera, the rugged, waterproof Play Sport Zx3. But then, somebody edited the vid, so now you can’t see the culprit on the video.

Oh, wait a sec, how about this? Here is one of the scenes that was visible yesterday but not today.  So, who are “those are the dipshits who would tag the big buddha statue?” Here’s the answer from my video cache (so to speak) of the Uptown Almanac:

 

Sadly, it appears that one of the scenes featuring this green-screen gentleman got cut. (Really, it’s an awesome video all-around. Thanks Kodak Marketing Department!)

It seems our corporate overlords are always trying to think of new ways to get to us, huh? Oh well.

Will the giant Buddha-heads start crying due to all the abuse?

Only Time Will Tell.

A New Delight From Banksy: Two-Building Rat Graffito in Haight Ashbury

Saturday, April 24th, 2010

Or, I don’t know, maybe it’s another example of a Bunksy around town these days. (Doesn’t really matter that much unless the buildings’ owners want to cut it out and auction it off. Irregardless, it’s effective viral marketing* from Cinetic Media / Abramorama / Paranoid Pictures LLC for Exit Through the Gift Shop: A Banksy Film in’nt?) Moving on…

Via  SFist and the Uptown Almanac** comes news of fresh tag in the Upper Haight.

The mise-en-scene today at the foot of Belvedere:

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Detail, camera left:

Und camera right:

One presumes a red line connects these two elements.

You can see all the new ads on somebody’s SF Banksy Tour, Sunday, April 24th. (Don’t rely on the addresses, WharholianPics has better descriptions of the various locations, apparently)

“Ok this might be a tad cheesy but I’m excited to tour the city Sunday and check out the new works of Banksy.

Dolores Park (exact location unknown)
Mission (Valencia between 19th & 20th above Little Otsu)
SOMA (9th and Howard)
Financial District (Sacramento and Davis)
Chinatown (Grant and Commercial)
Haight St (above Villains Vault)”

Anyway, the movie is playing at the One Embarcadero these days.

EXIT THROUGH THE GIFT SHOP  
87 Mins :: R
12:30 | 2:45 | 5:00 | 7:20 | 9:40

Enjoy.

* Here’s a good question: 

“…do we really need significant P&A [Print & Advertising] when so much of what Banksy does is viral?”

No sir, no you do not. But check this bon mot, from 2008:

“The easiest way to not go viral is to try going viral.”

Appears as if they’re trying pretty damn hard in 2010.

**Is Scott Beale of Laughing Squid really a “fool” and/or a “lazy fuck?” Decidedly not. So it’s difficult trying to make sense of the following:

“… Laughing Squid needs me to do some research so that lazy fuck can just rip off this blog without credit.  Again.  Even anonymous dumbasses on ezboards.com are better at giving us hat tips than that fool.”

Must be an inside joke or something.

From Mission Mission Comes the UPTOWN ALMANAC, San Francisco’s Newest Group Blog

Monday, January 11th, 2010

Some people behind San Francisco’s beloved Mission Mission blog are now branching out to cover the entire City of San Francisco plus the Sunset District – it’s called UPTOWN ALMANAC and it looks great.

Here are the deets from Kevin Montgomery.

So why not subscribe now? It’s free.

Bon Courage Uptown Almanac!   

“The blog is made up of a few pendejos (who mostly live in the Mission but whatever):

  • Bailey Genine: Lived in a broke-ass Tahoe house for three years.  Watched a toilet bowl freeze in her house and has puked off of ski-lifts.  ’nuff said.  Tumblr + Twitter.
  • Brizz: The mind behind The Tens.  He also spends too much time in L.A.
  • Jim Chaney: Author of a generally decent tumbleblog and twitter account.  Hails from the alright state of Ohio.
  • Kate Horton: Enjoys Urkel-Os cereal.  If that isn’t enough qualification, I don’t know what is. Twitter + Tumblr.
  • Kevin Montgomery: Some guy that used to write most of the entries for Mission Mission in late 2009.  He thinks he’s funny, but he’s not.  Twitter + Tumblr.
  • Laura Beck: This girl writes for so many publications that there is no way in hell you’d have the attention span to read about them all.  Most notably, she’s the lead for Vegansaurus!, which is basically a Grocery Eats for white people.  Twitter.
  • Serg: He’s been writing Beer and Rap before most of us lived in the Mission District.  He also writes Grocery Eats, which is basically a vegansaurus! for meat-eaters/people who hate white-people’s cooking.  Twitter.