Did Larry Ellison ever get those 99-year leases he wanted from us, you know, in exchange for making us all rich, for “activating” our “world-class” “natural amphitheater?”
I’ll tell you, back in aught-ten, a newcomer had just moved to town – he called the original deal, the southern waterfront 99-year lease proposal, a “wonderful opportunity without a downside.” Of course we had a lot of downsides, and we’re still paying for them. Is this giant ad going to be here forever, or as long as the building is with us?
This sign has been up for what, a half-decade now? One wonders why…
Americans will play soccer, particularly when we’re young,* but we don’t want to watch, ’cause we think it’s boring. Sorry, World.
Now the reason we think watching televised soccer is boring is partly due to this game right here, from 1999, a BFD, with President Bill Clinton showing up. But regulation and overtime play was a “tepid affair,” non? It ended in a 0-0 tie. And then the game was won on penalty kicks. Start watching at 9:00.
“Liu Ying was China’s third-round shooter, but her shot was saved by United States goalkeeper Briana Scurry.”
Boy, that was a nice high-def vid I gave you, huh? Anyway, did you notice this?
This is how the U.S. won the game. If the Chinese shooter chooses to go to the right, as she did, then there was a futbol’s chance in Hell the ball could go into the net.
Oh, so the FIFA refs didn’t call it, so it’s all right? Well, what if the goalie kept on charging and kicked the ball before the shooter had a chance to and the refs didn’t call that either? There comes a point where you simply go too far trying to attain your “goal,” or non-goal in this case.
Anyway, I’m not taking away your victory, USWT99, I’m a just putting a big, fat asterisk in the record book.
I don’t know my US Flag Code, but I’m thinking you shouldn’t have your jumbo elephant flag flying at the same height as neighboring national flags.
So, to fix things, you gotta shrink the jumbo flag or embiggen* the PRC flag, then you gotta fly the oliphant flag at a lower altitude, and while you’re at it, make sure your PRC flag looks natty instead of ratty, you know, the way it looks now…
“San Francisco International Airport was designed to accommodate the new A380 aircraft, and we are extremely pleased today to welcome Qantas Airways in the first commercial A380 flight to SFO,” said San Francisco Mayor Gavin Newsom. “This state-of-the-art, environmentally sensitive new aircraft provides yet another bridge of friendship between San Francisco and Australia, and we look forward to continuing our long and successful partnership with Qantas.”
Now IRL, the Airbus A380 was and is just another airplane in the sky. And IRL, the state of the art of large commercial aircraft would be to use two large engines instead of the A380’s four smaller engines. And calling it “environmentally sensitive” was and is a bit of a stretch and, in fact, these days it’s considered a guzzler and so much so that Airbus is considering certifying completely different engines.
Anyway, what happened soon after this press conference in 2009 is that Qantas shut down operations at SFO and went to Texas. So instead of upgrading airplanes coming into town, they just upped and quit on us, they couldn’t wait to get out of here.
AC33: You see, the America’s Cup isn’t really a sport. The defenders have an 85% victory rate because they make a lot of the rules. Despite this, the Larry Ellison BMW team won AC33 as the challenger because it had a new-school wing-sail and the defender had regular old sails. It was a stupid event that was won in courtrooms.
AC34: You see, the America’s Cup isn’t really a sport. The defenders have an 85% victory rate because they make a lot of the rules.
Now I have a question – is Julian Guthrie an objective reporter on the topic of Larry Ellison? (The answer is HELL NO.)
Oh, here’s another. Why did Larry Ellison pick her to tell his stories to? Mmmm.
And what’s funny is that she’s kind of his spokesmodel. So like Larry will tell her that death of Andrew Simpson was a “freak accident” and then that’s the same phrase she’ll use on a call-in radio show, like IDK, Forum with Michael Krasney. And she didn’t say “Larry says it was a freak accident,” you know, the way a journalist might. No no, she was expressing her own opinion, rather emphatically, for whatever reason. Oh well. And then months later, Larry hisself says something on the topic for the first time in public. He was all, “It was a freak accident.” OK fine.
So Larry Ellison wants to hold the next go-around in Hawaii? Well that’s fine, I don’t think anybody would object to that. But it would be nice if Deadbeat Larry could pay for the prior event. The latest estimate is $11,000,000 or so.
Oh, what else, oh, former Supervisor Michela Alioto Pier once told a small crowd that the reason that God didn’t allow SF to host a particular Summer Olympics was because He, and I’m srsly, wanted us to host the 34th America’s Cup and, you know, we couldn’t practically host both events so, you know, divine intervention. Srsly.
Anyway, the legacy of the America’s Cup is an eight-figure debt that we thought Larry would cover but his people merely just said that they would try really hard to cover, which actually meant they wouldn’t really try at all. Oh, and you embarrassed our very sensitive appointed Mayor – hope you’re happy, Larry, but I don’t think you are.
Now, on with the show:
“Wed, Apr 2 2014 – 6:00pm
Jimmy Spithill, Oracle Team USA Skipper Norbert Bajurin, Commodore, Golden Gate Yacht Club Julian Guthrie, Reporter, San Francisco Chronicle; Author, The Billionaire and the Mechanic: How Larry Ellison and a Car Mechanic Teamed Up to Win Sailing’s Greatest Race, The America’s Cup, Twice Michael Krasny, Host, KQED’s Forum – Moderator
In last summer’s 34th America’s Cup, San Francisco’s home team, Oracle USA, was down eight-to-one when it pulled off a comeback for the ages, with eight straight wins against Emirates Team New Zealand. The victorious skipper, Jimmy Spithill, was at the helm supported by his team and the unlikely partnership of Golden Gate Yacht Club’s Commodore Norbert Bajurin and Larry Ellison, co-founder and billionaire CEO of Oracle Corporation. They’ll talk about the danger and drama of sailing these ultra-fast, aerodynamically designed 72-foot catamarans. Guthrie is the author of The Billionaire and the Mechanic, which tells the incredible story of how a car mechanic and one of the world’s richest men teamed up to win the world’s greatest race – twice!
Come have your photo taken with the America’s Cup trophy! Affectionately known as the “Auld Mug,” The America’s Cup is the oldest international sporting trophy, and it’s coming to the Club as well!
Location: SF Club Office Time: 5:15 p.m. check-in and premium reception, 6 p.m. program, 7 p.m. book signing Cost: $20 non-members, $12 members, $7 for students (with valid ID); Premium: $40 non-members, $30 members