The San Francisco Citizen

Back a half-century ago, Oklahoma Senator Almer Stillwell “Mike” Monroney gave us the ubiquitous window sticker that you’ll see on the side of just about every new vehicle for sale. For your protection, of course. Thanks Mike.

But window space is going to get a little more crowded with information now that California Environmental Protection Agency and the California Air Resources Board have teamed up to give you DriveClean. Now, you’re your going to get a SMOG score plus a Global Warming Score:

SMOG
Smog is a haze-like form of air pollution produced by the photochemical reaction of sunlight with volatile organic compounds (including non-methane organic gases) and oxides of nitrogen that have been released into the atmosphere, especially by automobile operation.

GREENHOUSE GASES
Greenhouse gases (ghg) emitted from vehicles include carbon dioxide (CO2), methane (CH4), nitrous oxide (NO2), and hydroflurocarbons (HFCs) from air conditioner refrigerant. Greenhouse gas emissions are the sum of all the ghg emissions and are identified as the CO2-equivalent value.

So, something like a giant hybrid Lexus LS 600h L, which gets a relatively good Smog Score of 8, will get a poorer Global Warming Score. On the other hand, if they ever tested an old school Honda CRX HF, it would get a very poor Smog Score and a very good Global Warming Score. So it’s educational to have two separate scores.

The all-electric “2008 Tesla Roadster” (both of them! haha!) has a rating of a perfect 10 due to its “0 lbs.” of Annual Smog Emissions. The catch is this: ‘Does not include upstream emissions.” Uh oh. It’s a little funny how some people will bend over backwards to come up with a nonsensical 135 MPG figure for an all-electric car, but other people can’t even hazard a guess as to “upstream emissions,” which exist. (Of course, you power your Tesla with solar, of course, but averaging out emissions from coal fired and nuclear panner plants and the like wouldn’t be a crazy thing to do.)

So, check it out. And don’t miss the acronym page, with plenty of fun phrases like “Partial Zero-Emissions Vehicle.” (How would that compare with something like “Partial Herpes-Free Sex Partner?”).  

During a confusing time when an outfit like Lexus categorizes its hybrid products separately, (as if they’re an entirely different species of vehicle even though they are pretty similar to their gas-only stablemates), these ratings from DriveClean could have merit. So far, so good.

Well, at least for this particularly oddly-shaped piece of real estate on Main Street near Folsom, the answer is this many:

“Last in, last out.” Click to expand.

It might be a pain to park here, under the shadow of the new Infinity San Francisco towers, but at least you won’t get the boot, or get into a chain reaction accident, or get all messy. Of course, if you work for San Francisco Honda, then just park wherever - the sidewalk, for example. 

Lastly, DO NOT PAY THIS MAN! 

Now you’re all set.

You can see the culprit reflected in this car’s windshield - it’s a sap-filled Eucalyptus globulus (aka Tasmanian Blue Gum, Southern Blue Gum or Blue Gum Eucalyptus) just waiting to rain down on your vehicle.  

Of course a garage around in the area of Golden Gate Park or it’s Panhandle could run you something like $10 per day. Maybe you’d feel a little gumminess is a small price to pay for free parking?

Your choice.  

The driver of this white car recently double-parked on the streets of San Francisco. But that’s nothing new, right?

San Francisco turns a blind eye to double parking around churches - it’s an “unwritten rule” that you are safe from ticketing in certain areas at certain times. Like Sunday mornings in the Western Addition, say.

The problem is that leaving a car there for an hour or two created a dangerous situation for pedestrians. Bad form. The driver of the red car wasn’t parking - he mistakenly thought the white car was just waiting at the stop sign for a few seconds. So after a while, he backed up and then went around. It’s easier to deal with double parked cars when they sit in the middle of the block.

As an alternative, why not double park at least a car’s length or two away from the crosswalk? That would make things better and safer for everybody. Just saying.