[UPDATE: Mike "The Situation" from Jersey Shore is now promoting this spirit in exchange for $400k. O.K. then.]
Do you feel that your favorite vodka has enough protein? Well, fret no longer, Devotion Vodka is here. Let’s read the press release together, shall we?
“Devotion Vodka: Get Devoted. THE WORLD’S FIRST PROTEIN INFUSED ULTRA PREMIUM VODKA HITS THE SHELVES IN SAN FRANCISCO, NEW YORK, NEW JERSEY. De-vo-tion Pronunciation [di-voh-shuhn] -noun: Commitment Dedication and Determination.”
Oh, so that’s how you pronounce de-vo-tion. Thanks!
It’s new, it’s you?
“SAN FRANCISCO, — Created in San Francisco, the birthplace of the original martini,
Uh no, you’re thinking of Martinez, CA, way out there in Contra Costa County, and even then you’re still wrong.
“Devotion Spirits is set to unleash the groundbreaking power of the first-ever 80-proof, four column distilled vodka with the benefits of protein that is made in the United States.
“Whether enjoyed on the rocks, mixed, stirred or shaken, Devotion Vodka provides for the smooth, delicious ultra-premium vodka taste discerning mixologists (professional or novice) are seeking. The patent pending proprietary solution found only in Devotion Vodka will transform the cocktail. While bar shelves are cluttered with vodkas from around the globe in every imaginable flavor,
“Devotion is the first and only vodka which literally provides a drink with a real protein boost.
“This revolutionary spirit will create a new beverage category, while also defining a new generation of vodka aficionados who devote themselves fully to everything they do in life. Created and developed by company President Drew Adelman, a nightlife, dining aficionado and fitness buff, Devotion Vodka was inspired by his search to combine his two favorite passions: fitness and nightlife.
Fitness and nightlife? Dude, you are a true renaissance man!
“My own personal mantra has always been… if you are going to be bad, you might as well be good,” notes Adelman. “With Devotion Vodka I can stay devoted to my regimen, while stepping out for a good time. I used to actually take my own protein out with me when I went for a night on the town.
Well, of course, you can’t step out without your protein. Natch.
“Then I realized there were millions of people like me who wanted to take care of their bodies and also have a good time. From that passion, Devotion Vodka was born.”
Boozing = taking care of your body. Check.
“In California, Devotion Vodka will be distributed by Young’s Market Company. International Spirits & Wines will be representing Devotion Vodka in New York, New Jersey and Connecticut. Devotion Vodka will be introduced in a 750 milliliter bottle at a suggested retail price of $29.99. The custom designed bottle made in France is not only distinctive, it is transformational;
Or maybe your bottle isn’t “transformational.” Just saying.
“the frosted glass bottle with the iconic logo and distinguishing red cap will further distinguish the brand and lifestyle that is unique to Devotion Vodka. “I have been in the nightlife industry for many years and I have seen some of the best ideas come through our clubs and restaurants,” notes Bob Jones, co-founder/vice president. “From Red Bull and Rockstar to Voss Water
Perrier from Scandinavia – now that’s pure genius.
“and Alize… all of those brands have a common thread – unique selling points that made them hugely successful. Devotion Vodka is a top-tier vodka product spirit enthusiasts will embrace. I believe Devotion Vodka has an unrivaled brand proposition everyone can understand and appreciate: protein.
I don’t understand/appreciate. Do not copy. Please resend.
“I have no doubt this will be the next big thing in the beverage industry.” “I’m exactly the type of person that Devotion Vodka was made for,” explains actor, athlete and fitness model Sebastian Seigel.
Or “Siegel,” sometimes he spells his name that way. Here’s a tip – whenever you get a funny word from Germany or wherever with the E’s and the I’s, just put the E’s as close together as possible, as in Diesel or Siebel.
”I have known Drew for many years and when he told me of his idea to develop protein-infused vodka, I told him I would be the first person buying a drink at the bar. It is ingenious. For athletes and anyone who takes care of their body and is looking for the best products for their lifestyle, Devotion Vodka has to be the choice.” In order to develop a recipe that would embody his vision, Adelman turned to the distinguished Frank Lin Distillery chemist, Dhir Singh and award-winning spirits chemist, Dr. Win Adler. Devotion Vodka’s proprietary solution
“Solution?” So, the vodka is the solvent and the protein is the solute? Sounds delicious!
“was selected by Singh for the following reasons: Solubility. Clarity. Taste. Feel. Devotion Vodka speaks to the masses.
The way Mussolini did? Neat.
“Its name Devotion shares many of the same attributes of the world’s greatest athletes and success stories: commitment, drive and success. From the stand-out design of the bottle to the unique marketing programs, social media campaigns and targeted outreach to the fitness and body builder communities, Devotion Vodka is both an ultra premium spirit and lifestyle choice. Fans and followers will be inspired by the Get Devoted mantrathat will surround all aspects of the brand. For more information, visit www.devotionvodka.com. Follow Devotion Vodka on Facebook at www.facebook.com/devotionvodka and Twitter at www.twitter.com/devotionvodka. Source: Devotion Vodka Web Site: http://www.devotionvodka.com/ http://www.twitter.com/devotionvodka http://www.facebook.com/devotionvodka
So, vodka + protein = Devotion.
O.K., but what about fat (or the taste of fat, anyway)? Well, in that case, you’re going to need Bakon, the bacon-flavored vodka.
Choose or lose.