Posts Tagged ‘walking’

Here are the Brand-New Stencils on the Golden Gate Park Panhandle Walking Path: “NO SKATING, NO BICYCLES”

Wednesday, August 12th, 2015

One day somebody laid down the black background and then later on somebody put in the white lettering, perhaps on Monday or Tuesday:

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I guess they wanted to notify people at each and every intersection.

Special Bonus: Kings Things:

- RPD says the Golden Gate Park Panhandle isn’t in Golden Gate Park. I disagree. Like, is the Florida Panhandle in Florida? Oh yes it is. But I suppose we could make a 51st state by cutting Florida into two states, one called Panhandle and the rest called Florida, but that would be kind of stupid. Anyway, that’s what RPD has basically done, but, like I said, I disagree. 

- And why is the surface of this path near Oak so decrepit? Because that’s the way RPD likes it. Rec and Park could put in a new path now and then get working on their long-promised irrigation project later, but it don’t want to. Also, aren’t we in a drought? Why not let’s forget the irrigation and let the Panhandle go natural? Just asking.

“Emergency Ride Home” – Will San Francisco Pay For Your Taxi Ride Home If You Bike to Work and Get a Flat Tire? Yes

Tuesday, April 28th, 2015

Here it is, from the San Francisco Department of the Environment:

Emergency Ride Home

This program is similar to those offered by Stanford U, UCMarin County and your major corporations.*

So, if you power your Nissan Leaf all-electric car or ZERO all-electric motorcycle with clean Hetch Hetchy hydroelectricity, SFGov is saying that your commute to work isn’t “sustainable.” OTOH, if you ride in a diesel MUNI bus, your commute is “sustainable? OK, maybe.

Hey, what about the method that SFGov uses to fund retirement pay and medical benefits for all its employees, past, present, and future? Is that sustainable, SFGov? Oh no? OK, SFGov.

And if one of my bikes gets a flat tire, have I ever said to myself, “Oh no, it’s an emergency!”

Nope.

But one supposes that if you had some free money to spend and you wanted to appeal to your bo-bo constituancy, you’d offer the same program.

ASSIGNMENT DESK: Well, this one writes itself. The hardest part will be finding an appealing subject who’s actually used this program already. Take some photos of the victim, you know, probably a her, and make sure have the Financh in the background in the photos, and then throw in a few quotes from a Department Head, and BAM! – you’ve got yourself a Story.

End Of Line

*At some places down in the valley, if you get sick at work your Free Ride Home will be so, so baller, you’ll feel like a billionaire, you know, temporarily anyway, and you’ll tell all your friends about it, and they’ll be so impressed.

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A Message from Boosted Boards to BART Riders: “I HAVE A $1500 SKATEBOARD – GET OUTTA MY WAY!”

Thursday, April 23rd, 2015

More or less:

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Commercial photo shoot checklist:

Willowy model – check

Product with extra-orangey wheels – check 

Location with no visible BART signs – check 

Shooting permit from ____ – ????

Angry Pedestrian: Bald Man Crusades Against Geary Kaiser – “THRIVE? HELL NO” and “KP IS FUCKED UP”

Monday, April 6th, 2015

At Geary and Baker:

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SFPD “Horse Mounted Officers” in Traffic – A Herd on Kearny – What’s Changed in 166 Years?

Friday, February 20th, 2015

Of course back in ’49, you know, 1849, some people were still calling Kearny Street La Calle de la Fundacion – it was the start of the grid system of streets we know today.

Anyway, not much has changed since the founding of the SFPD 166 years ago – a time-traveling gold miner from back then would have no problem understanding this aspect of The Future: 

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Mounted Unit

Strut, Western Addition

Thursday, December 18th, 2014

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Sue Ellen Mischke, 94109 – Cruising the Tenderloin Wearing a Bra as a Top – Was This a Sorority Initiation?

Monday, July 28th, 2014

I’m not sure just how serious this woman was. Maybe this was a Truth or Dare situation…

Anyway, here she is, walking down Polk in the 94109, in the part of town I call the Tenderloin, to the contrary of Randy Shaw, an aging white male lawyer who lives in a mansion in the East Bay Hills and who, for some reason, gets eight figures a year from _San Francisco_ taxpayers to basically run the Tenderloin – it’s amazing.*

Sue Ellen Mischke is Elaine‘s nemesis whom she calls the “bra-less wonder.” Sue Ellen is the heiress to the Oh Henry! candy bar fortune, and has known Elaine since they attended high school together in Maryland. Sue Ellen is portrayed by Brenda Strong.

“In “The Caddy“, Elaine is so incensed that Sue Ellen doesn’t wear a bra that she gives her a bra as a gift, which Sue Ellen then promptly wears as a top. This causes Kramer to crash George‘s car when he and Jerry see her walking in her bra down the street. Kramer calls upon Jackie Chiles to help sue. Despite the suit, Jerry falls for her when she comes in his apartment. The courtroom scene that follows is a broad and obvious allusion to the O.J. Simpson trial, which ends when she tries the bra on, which does not fit.”

Bonus:

“In the pilot for Happy Days, there is a character mentioned named Sue Ellen Mischke. It is unknown if this name is a reference or just coincidence.”

*Here’s a sampler, from 2007:

“By the summer of 2008, going “uptown” in San Francisco will mean heading to the Tenderloin.”

This was a laughable statement back in 2007, and it came nowhere close to coming true in 2008 or beyond.

And there’s this:

The “Uptown Tenderloin” is the authentic historic name for the over 16-block area north of Market Street…”

And to that I say, “Nope! It’s not.”

Well, Here’s What the New Signs in the Panhandle Look Like: “PARK HOURS – 5AM-Midnight – PARK CODE 3.21″

Friday, May 23rd, 2014

Apparently, our Board of Supervisors is unaware that the paved path on the south side of the Panhandle, the one that goes along right next to Oak, is NOT a bike path.

Oh well.

   (a)   Persons may enter and use any park from 5:00 a.m. to midnight daily, provided that the Department may set different hours in a permit, contract or lease. This subsection shall not apply to buildings, such as recreation centers, restrooms and clubhouses, or to athletic fields, which may have different hours of operation, as determined by the General Manager or the Commission, as the case may be.
   (b)   Notwithstanding the provisions of subsection (a), the Commission may by resolution and at any time set different hours of operation for any park or part thereof, based on operational requirements or neighborhood impacts.
   (c)   No person shall enter or remain in any park without the permission of the Department outside of the hours open to the public as set in subsection (a) or under subsection (b), except that:
      (1)   In the case of Balboa Park, Golden Gate Park, Lincoln Park, and McLaren Park, persons may use a vehicle (including but not limited to a car, truck, bicycle and motorcycle) on the roadway(s) in those parks or walk on paved sidewalks immediately adjacent to such roadways, at any time for purposes of transversing the park only;
      (2)   In the case of the Panhandle, persons may walk or ride a bicycle on the bike paths at any time for purposes of transversing the park only; and,
      (3)   In the case of Union Square, Civic Center Plaza, and Justin Herman Plaza, persons may walk on the paved portions of those plazas at any time for purposes of transversing the plaza only.
   (d)   (1)   Except as provided in subsection (2), a violation of subsection (c) shall be subject to the penalties set forth in Park Code Article 10.
      (2)   A person who is found sleeping in a park outside of the hours open to the public in violation of subsection (c) shall not be cited under this section for being present in the park while sleeping. Such a person may be cited only under Section 3.13 of this Code.
   (e)   The Department shall post the hours for each park (1) at the park in a location designed to provide notice to members of the public, and (2) on the Department’s website.
   (f)   The Department shall issue an annual report to the Board of Supervisors and Mayor by September 1 of each year providing the following information for the preceding fiscal year: (1) the number of citations issued by the Police Department and Park Patrol for violations of this section and the age and race of individuals cited, (2) the Department’s costs for repairs and maintenance, including graffiti abatement, resulting from vandalism in parks, and (3) the Department’s costs associated with enforcing this section.
   (g)   Nothing in this section shall limit the authority of the General Manager and the Commission under section 3.03 of this Code.
(Added by Ord. 265-13 , File No. 130766, App. 11/27/2013, Eff. 12/27/2013)

Here’s What It Looks Like to Coast Down the New Devil’s Slide Trail, Just South of Pacifica

Wednesday, March 26th, 2014

Joshua Cassidy of KQED has all the deets on the soon-to-open Devil’s Slide path.

And here’s what it looks like to coast down, via CoastSider:

Longboarding Golden Gate Park with Dogs

Friday, January 24th, 2014

Dude is cool:

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He ain’t your average Huckleberry Hound, anyway.