Posts Tagged ‘whitening’

Someday, I’ll Save Up My Pennies and Then Get UV Teeth Whitening at the Mall – Giant Tentacle in Your Pie Hole

Wednesday, July 18th, 2012

As seen at a mall in San Francisco, back* in the day:

Click to expand

Look closer:

Sometimes I just don’t know…

*RITZ CAMERA, RIP, probably, I mean, at this point in 2012.

Whitening Your Teeth at the Mall, For All the World to See

Tuesday, September 23rd, 2008

Here’s a scene from a mall. Specifically Stonestown Mall, deep in San Francisco’s Sunset / Parkside Fog Belt. It’s a kiosk from WOWSmileXpress Professional Teeth Cleaning.  


Here’s a closer look. Pay your $100, don some red Bono sunglasses, cram a huge wand into your piehole, and then you’ll be the envy of all the Hot Dog on a Stick-eating passers-by for the next half-hour or so. 


And what says the photo of the happy bride with super white teeth? “Ask us about  our group pricing for your special events.” O.K., then.

You have a dazzling array of choices in this arena:

Celebrity Sexy Teeth
Zoom Teeth Whitening
Crest Whitestrips
Aquafresh White Trays
Listerine Whitening Strips
Colgate Simply White
Nova White

Choose wisely, or maybe just choose nothing.