Posts Tagged ‘yelp’

IT’S COME TO THIS: The Doughbies “Doughbus” Will Deliver Freshly Baked Cookies to You Within 20 Minutes? IS THIS REAL LIFE?

Wednesday, November 25th, 2015

I haven’t checked up on this ad yet, but I gotta say that I don’t think Doughbies is going to make it as a company.

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(And that’s my Haterade, sorry.)

And what if the Doughbies deliverer only had to give you something intangible, say something like a kiss on the cheek? Well, even then, I don’t see how this app could deliver. So like the deliverer would go to Nob Hill and park and then make it to your place in 20 minutes? How is that possible? Oh, the driver would illegally double park? OK well, maybe.

And didn’t pizza delivery places have to walk back promises of DELIVERED IN 30 MINUTES OR IT’S FREE due to getting sued over the concomitant reckless driving? I think so.

Or you’re going to use bike riders? Or scooters? IDK, man.

Oh what’s that, I’m hurting the “feelings” of the Doughbies all-seeing, all-knowing Founder(s)?


Oh what’s that, it’s good to fail, to give it a shot? Well, sure, for you, the Founder, using Other Peoples’ Money and then failing, well that could be a great career move. But this process might not be good for a lot of other people, don’t forget.

Oh yeah

[UPDATE: Oh I see. Delivery is restricted to the Financh and neighboring SoMA. So that’s why you advertise in the fucking Richmond District? OK fine. Yes, they do use bikes. But no, the 20 minutes isn’t really a serious thing. And of course, it’s only curbside delivery. So fine, but you shouldn’t address your pitch to “San Francisco” is all I can say…]

SFMTA MUNI Stares Down Mental Illness in Front of Twitter HQ – One Reason, Just One, of Why VisionZero 2024 is Impossible

Wednesday, November 25th, 2015

Oh here we go, here’s a 21 Hayes operator at 10th and Market. (Hey, you know the slow and inefficient #21, right? It comes to us, at great expense, via our slow and inefficient SFMTA.)

Anywho, here’s the scene, the driver with a green, the ped with a fierce attitude problem – it’s a staring contest:

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But let’s start at the beginning where Just Do It ambles against the red heading inbound on Market:

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And reaches the safety island. All the other peds stop for their red, but Just Do It doesn’t break stride, oh no. Now, here come the bus:

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What’s the ped’s message here? It’s like go ahead and run me down – make my day. Go ahead and just do it is what Just Do It is saying, more or less.

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While driving, biking or walking about town, I blithely assume that all pedestrians will manifest mental illness. Is that so wrong? I think not, obliviously.

OTOH, our SFMTA considers all peds perfect, perfect people – perfect people who make the occasional “mistake” by purposefully walking into traffic.

And DYK that the cause of most ped deaths last year in SF County was the peds themselves? Our SFMTA seems to ignore this reality. (Do you want to get into this, start talking about vehicle code violations and whose fault is what? I can do it. I have done it, AAMOF.) But Reality doesn’t win you any votes at the ballot box, and it doesn’t make Uncle Sucker want to send us some more sweet sweet pork from DC, so that’s why our SFMTA isn’t interested in Reality.

What will be the consequences for the people today spouting VisionZero 2024 when 2024 comes and the promises of VisionZero 2024 don’t? Nothing, absolutely nothing. Oh well.

If SFGov wants to legislate away all transportation deaths in town by 2024 and into the future, forever, it would need to be able to magically cure all mental illness, and even then it would fail. Really, SFGov would need to eliminate transportation altogether.


Stop the Presses: 24-Hour Diner LUCKY PENNY No Longer 24-Hour – Put This Icon on Your Bucket List, Afore It’s Too Late

Tuesday, November 17th, 2015

Here’s how it used to be, via the Yelp:

Mon Open 24 hours
Tue Open 24 hours Open now
Wed Open 24 hours
Thu Open 24 hours
Fri Open 24 hours
Sat Open 24 hours
Sun Open 24 hours

But this is how things are now, closing early on Monday Tuesday Wednesday nights:

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(That’s right – not 9:30 P, 9:20 P.)

How soon afore this valuable parcel, betwixt Trader Joe’s & City Target West and smackdab at the crossroads of Geary & Masonic, will become mad million dollar plus condos? IOW, How Soon Is Now?

The writing’s on the wall, so let’s visit, like for the first time in my life, ever, in all my years.

Oh look, no waiting!

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I’m never going back, but I’m glad I went, you know, afore it leaves us…

Government-Subsidized “BAY AREA BIKE SHARE” Tries to Rip Off Tourist for $300, Only Steals $150 – When Will BABS Solve This Repeated Issue?

Monday, November 16th, 2015

Suffer Fabian:

“Wow, watch out guys, especially tourists, that’s a total rip-off! Wrongly assumed it would be like bike share services in Europe, 30 minutes free of charge and for a day pass (i.e. renting the bike for the day) would cost me 9$. Took 2 bikes for 2 days for my girlfriend and me thinking I would at the end cost me something like $36 – which sounds reasonable for those heavy, sometimes poorly maintained bikes. They charged me at the end more than $300! Ridiculous. Cannot see how this is a sustainable service. Ended up paying half after intense discussions which is some relief, however for $150 I could have rented out 2 high-end mountain bikes for that price.”

Here’s what the tourists see:


I know there are more words around this image, but I’m just telling you what the tourists see.

Is BABS aware of this issue? Yes, but it just doesn’t give a fuck. They’re all like “fuck you, pay me,” or actually, they’re like oh, well, just pay half then. That’s the deal – get charged waaaaay too much money by mistake and then talk your way down to 50% of the overcharge. It’s like a unwritten BABS policy now.

And believe it or not, BABS would have only a 1.5 star Yelp rating but for its hectoring of customers who dare give it a one-star review, and but for the shill 5 star reviews.

It goes on and on:

I’m giving one star because the quality and condition of the bikes is absolutely horrible. All the bikes are heavy pieces of junk! Forget investing in more docking stations Bay Area bike share, invest in better bikes!! I’ve been to many cities around the world and all the bikes there looks way better than the ones we have here.

Perhaps BABS deserves its abysmal two-star Yelp rating?

Here’s Your Chance to Try BAY AREA BIKE SHARE for Free – FRIDAY FRIDAY FRIDAY, November 20th, 2015 – Get Your Code Now

Friday, November 13th, 2015

The problem with this

. and sponsor Bay Area Bike Share’s first-ever Free Ride Day on 11/20! Get your ride code today

…is that November 20th, 2015 isn’t exactly going to be Free Ride Day, it’s going to be more like Free Ride for a Half-Hour Day.

And if you think I’m quibbling, check out how our tourists have reacted to us subsidizing this program for them:


(And that’s even with the requisite number of 5-star shill reviews – some, perhaps, with a profit motive…)

And some private company will end up making millions off of this program what costs us tens of millions of dollars, oh well. And this is the same company what profits handsomely when people, including lots of tourists from all over the world with perhaps not the best handle on English, interpret phrases like FREE RIDE DAY as a FREE RIDE DAY or RIDE ALL DAY FOR $9 as RIDE ALL DAY FOR $9, but then end up getting charged $68.50 or whatever instead of the $9.

(My problem is that the minimum charge to pedal one of these expensive yet heavy rides around the block just to see what it’s like is $9.)

But look what’s coming up:

“On Friday, November 20, riders can enjoy free Bay Area Bike Share trips, courtesy of Target and Instacart!

Taking advantage of the promotion is easy. Register here (or at right) to receive a free 24-hour pass code by email. Then, on Friday, November 20, use that code at any Bay Area Bike Share station. The 24-hour pass, typically $9, will cost nothing thanks to Target and Instacart.

A credit or debit card is required as usage fees still will apply to all trips over 30 minutes. Riders can choose to take multiple rides during the 24-hour period simply by going to the kiosk and selecting “Request a New Ride Code”.

Station locations and real-time bike and dock availability can be viewed at or by downloading the free CycleFinder app for iPhone or Android devices.”

So Friday will be your chance to try things out.

Bon Courage.

The Tadich Grill, Gene Upshaw, “Guess Who’s Coming to Dinner,” the Napa Valley Wine Train, CW Nevius, Yelp, and Willie Brown

Wednesday, October 28th, 2015

All right, here’s your background.

And here’s what’s new, via right-of-center columnist CW Nevius. Now you’re up-to-speed.

The new DC location for the Tadich probably won’t make it, sorry, but let’s look at the Frisco joint.

Like literally – can you see the Financh behind a very smoky DC-8 in this shot from 1967, the year the Tadich found its current home? Sure.

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That’s a still from Guess Who’s Coming To Dinner, with Sidney Portier. So, this movie was huge back in 1967, back when some(?) of the current(?) owners were what, in their twenties? Wonder what they thought of this flick – they couldn’t have missed all the commotion over it, that’s for sure.

So this is what San Francisco Mayor Willie Brown is saying:

“Every tourist should go there. I have been going there for 20-30 years.”

Oh, OK. That’s funny.

And then there’s this:

“In my opinion, they need to clean up their intra-family relationships,” he said. “And do it quickly. If they don’t they are going to be riding the Wine Train.”

I was wondering how this bit from CWNevius could/would turn into a source greaser/beat sweetener and here it is. Willie Brown wants attorney / underling / minion Joaquin McCoy(sp?) to make $4 million(!) off of an out-of-county business and Willie’s doing his best to help that along. OK. (Of course, if the Tadich were in Napa and the wine train were in Frisco, then his positions would be entirely the opposite, but oh well.)

(And I don’t think you can compare the two situations. IMO, this is a serious blow for the Tadich empire – the Wine Train thing is a nothingburger compared to this.*)

Reading down we get to this, where journalist Nevius lets columnist Nevius chirp up:

“And at 23, she was young. Any parent would be concerned.”

Uh NOPE! Actually, some parents would not be so “concerned” IRL. Oh, maybe Nevius wrote an opinion column after all. (Why wouldn’t the Chron use a reporter to report what the daughter is saying? Mmmm…)

I’ll tell you, our Tadich Grill is fully radioactive now. What the half-life will be, well, we’ll see…

*Would I have kicked them off the train? NOPE. Would I have complained about them in the first place? NOPE. Would I myself would have gotten so loud as to disturb others? NOPE. Would I have driven three hours back and forth to Napa for the privilege of riding any sort of wine-related train? NOPE. Such a killjoy am I.

PEOPLE HATE US ON YELP! – How to Track the Tadich Grill “Racism Scandal” via Yelp – A Downward Spiral

Tuesday, October 27th, 2015

Well, it didn’t take long, after this got published yesterday:

Style, Lonnae O’Neal: Terri Upshaw says she had to choose between family and love

Now I didn’t read the bit myself, but I can see the headline – and it’s not even promising you the full truth of the story. It’s only saying what the daughter says, and that’s enough, in’nt?

So here you go, falling stars – make a wish:

DC Location, Recommended

DC Location, Not Recommended

SF Location, Recommended

SF Location, Not Recommended

(I don’t think you can easily get to this info on a mobile device, just saying. I couldn’t anyway.)


Monday, September 21st, 2015

Ah let’s head back to nature. Do you see – it’s hard to spot:

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This is better:

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Here we go, at the bottom – there’s a clear shot:

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And then, back to its master:

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Are drones legal in California State Parks like 4.5 starred Emerald Bay?

Sure, for now.

That’s good, ’cause people be flying drones all over the place these days. (You’ll hear them before you see them, most likely. MMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMM…)

Yelplash! – 100s Upon 100s of One-Star Yelp Reviews for Napa Valley Wine Train – Also, “NAPA VALLEY RAILROAD POLICE!?”

Tuesday, August 25th, 2015

This post is two posts…

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…two posts in one!

So the reason why the Napa Valley Wine Train people just caved so quickly and completely is that they needed to stop the massive bleeding pronto.

I’ll tell you, the Regular Yelp reviews for la Vallee de Napa Train de Vin are bad enough these days, but it’s Secret Yelp, well, it’s OOC – it just goes on and on


Moving on, to this – it was the “Napa Valley Railroad Police(!)” busted / escorted off the premises these women?

WTF to that.

Let’s take a look at their FAQ:

“Are Napa Valley Railroad Police Officers “real cops?

Yes.  Every one of our peace officers is a fully empowered police officer under the authority of section 830.33(e) of the California Penal Code.  Our officers have peace officer authority 24 hours a day anywhere in the State of California the same as any city police officer our county deputy sheriff.  Our primary jurisdiction extends to in and around property of the Napa Valley Railroad.

 Can Napa Valley Railroad Police Officers write traffic tickets?

Yes.  Our officers can enforce all of the laws of the State of California including all sections of the California Vehicle Code.  Enforcement is an essential component of carrying out our public safety mission.  We focus our attention on violations related to the railroad.

 Why does the Railroad need its own police department?  Is there that much crime?

The Napa Valley Railroad Company operates its own police department with the intention of limiting its reliance on public resources.  The Napa Valley Wine Train carries up to 350 people at a time on one train.  The railroad line includes over 90 public and private crossings that run over and alongside Highway 29.  Our mission includes protecting the patrons, employees, and assets of the railroad.  We believe that our presences is the most effective deterrent to crime.”

This FAQ only leads to more questions.

So, the Napa Valley Wine Train operates its own police department!? Who the fuck authorized this?

And what’s next, the Cliff House Restaurant Police? The Ronald McDonald Police Squad?

I’m baffled.

Anyway, chew on that.

The Wine Police, they live inside of my head
The Wine Police, they come to me in my bed
The Wine Police, they’re coming to arrest me, oh, no

Historic Yelp Typo for Expensive SoMA Flophouse: “We Had Bats In Our Room” – Should Be Gnats? Cats? Rats?

Monday, August 17th, 2015

I’ll tell you, this blows me away:

“…Best Western Plus Americania recently posted rates of $460 a night.”

Isn’t that a tad pricy, you know, considering?

Anywho, Andrea M says:

We had bats in our room…


This can’t be right, right?

It’s gotta be gnats, right?

Are bats attracted to humidity? One assumes not. But are gnats attracted to humidity? One assumes so.

Otherwise, bats, rats OR cats would be somewhat disturbing.

Almost as disturbing as the idea of paying $460 to stay a night (plus hotel tax, like 15%) (plus $30, for parking!) (plus hotel tax, like 15% on the parking fee) at a Best Western motel at 7th and Market…