So this Jay Yarow fellow is saying how people just threaten to quit Facebook, instead of, you know, actually quitting Facebook. Feel free to take that as a kind of challenge. I did.
Anyway, the upshot is that quitting Facebook is easy-peasy, a lot easier than dealing with FB, certainly. The place is like a favor bank where you make deposits without any chance of withdrawal. Somebody’s telling me about some event they want the whole world to know about but I need to sign in again today? Why’s that? And Facebook always asks if I want to make FB my homepage – why on Earth would I do that?
Is there some way to stop getting queried by FB about making it my browser start page?
Yes there is. You just need to cancel your account, forever. Here’s the response you’ll get when you click on Settings/ Cancel:
Doesn’t that just tug at your heart-strings? Somehow, I think lovely Damion and Fiona will manage just fine without me. And actually, they probably won’t even notice I’m gone since nobody’s going to send a message to people saying how I don’t like them anymore or something.
Just didn’t know what I was getting into. I ended up getting messages from people I was only vaguely aware of. Maybe that’s my fault, as I would routinely accept friend requests. Well, except for one. That was from a state elected official, Betty Yee. I used to drive her around for free in a giant Lexus, but that wasn’t enough so then I started getting solicitations for campaign donations in the mail every couple of months. I think the fact that I threw a few bucks (not that much at all) to more charismatic pols irritated her. Oh well. Anyway, I thought that approving the friend request would send a mixed message, so I didn’t. (You’ll get a chance to vote for her next month, but it doesn’t really matter as she’ll win anyway due to the way the system is set up.) Otherwise, I just went with the flow with FB and I didn’t like where it took me.
Now I know a bunch of older people glommed on to FB tout de suite about a year ago – that probably raised FB’s average user age up, up, up. Do you think the age of the typical user will end up getting near what AOL’s average user age was in its prime? You might be too young to remember the era of You’ve Got Mail, but man, there are a lot of similarities betwixt AOL and FB, is all I’m saying. AOL eventually lost out to the regular Internet – when will FB lose out the regular Internet?
I’ll tell you, my grandmother is too busy for FB what with her going out and enjoying her new Hyundai (Yes, Hyundai!, – is this really America’s best warranty? No se), but what’s it going to be like when the average grandmother clocks in more FB time per day that the typical tween girl? That’s gonna be tough.
Now, here’s a bit from Geroge Orwell. “If you want a picture of the future, imagine a boot stamping on a human face— forever.” How wrong was that, right? Here’s the Future:
“Poke your Grandma. Stan, why won’t you poke your Grandma?”
(A frat-boy style lexicon of love that might have been appropriate back in the day, back around aught-four, might need to be tweaked a bit, at some point, you think? Moving on…)
AOL’s downward spiral began just after that You’ve Got Mail Tom Hanks / Melanie Griffith joint came out in 1998. How long will FB last after The Social Network comes out in late 2010? Will the kids think you’re cool still after that, FB? You might not be The New Thang after that.
And oh yes, after boldly informing FB about how you really meant it when you clicked on Cancel, they’ll have you log in again and make you pass a CAPTCHA. And then this screen is your payday. But you have to tell them why you’re leaving. Thusly:
And then you’re done.
It’s later than you think, FB. Enjoy the ride while it lasts.